The Art Of Charm | High Performance Techniques| Cognitive Development | Relationship Advice | Mastery Of Human Dynamics

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. This week, Kimberly Seltzer joins Jordan and Jason to set your questions right and help you course correct. Let's cut to it! In this episode: How can you trust a potential future partner when you've been cheated on in the past? A recap on the "smizing" exercise for those who think they have a resting face that looks unfriendly -- or perhaps too friendly. How do you overcome a crippling fear of texting? Are you a bad friend for giving good advice? Should it be a deal breaker when your partner is too insecure to let you have friends? How do you tell your hubby they're getting chubby without being offensive? Documentary of the Week: The Vietnam War Quick shoutouts to: Jayden Wilcox Bonar (who's eight years old and listens with his dad) and Jacob Larsen! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com! C

Jeff Goins (@JeffGoins) rejoins us to dispel a disheartening stereotype and discuss his new book Real Artists Don't Starve: Timeless Strategies for Thriving in the New Creative Age. "A starving artist is somebody who is unnecessarily suffering for the sake of their gift." -Jeff Goins The Cheat Sheet: Why be a starving artist like van Gogh when you can be a thriving artist like Michelangelo? How do you go from tinkering as a hobbyist to making money from your craft? How to distinguish yourself in a crowd of amateurs. Ways to utilize your day job to support your crafty side hustle. How to stick to your guns and stay motivated when people don't want to pay you what you're worth. And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/662/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Learn over 500 subjects (no tests or homework!) at The Great Courses Plus -- The Art of Charm listeners get one month free here! As security breaches make headlines with increasing frequency, is yo

Winifred Reilly (@winifredmreilly) has been a marriage and family therapist for nearly forty years, runs relationship blog Speaking of Marriage, and is the author of It Takes One to Tango: How I Rescued My Marriage with (Almost) No Help from My Spouse -- and How You Can, Too. "Somebody goes first -- so let that person be you." -Winifred Reilly The Cheat Sheet: Why is the "it takes two to tango" concept flawed when it comes to relationships? Where does fairness go when we take responsibility upon ourselves to course correct a relationship? How are relationships like velcro? One belief about relationships that many people have backwards. It's more important to know what to do when we disagree than trying to avoid disagreements altogether. And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/661/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Rhone makes gear for the modern man who demands modern style, comfort, and quality. Click here or go to rhone.com and enter promo code

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. This time around, we try the Tennis Ball Drill -- an exercise designed to make small talk a little less awkward and maybe just a bit bigger. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: The Tennis Ball Drill is an improv exercise for people who think small talk is awkward and hard -- in other words, most of us. This drill goes for ten rounds, and the only equipment required is a simple tennis ball and another person. Say something, and then bounce the ball to the other person. They have to say something, then bounce the ball back to you. It goes back and forth like this. The idea is that you'll run out of small talk fluff and start to talk about something real. To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text AOC to 38470. Also be sure to check out our Social Capital Intensive here!

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. In this episode: How do you get people to speak up when you're hearing impaired (and understand you're not flirting with them because you're staring at their lips when you're just trying to read them)? What can a suffering veteran with seemingly no options do to emerge from the dark place where he's found himself? Is there a way to make a transition to friendship after a romantic rejection? Parents aren't going to want to hear this as it applies to their teenagers, but sometimes college really can wait. A listener offers advice and resources to someone trying to leave a religion that intertwines with every aspect of their life. Is anger an effective long term motivational tool? Documentary of the Week: Vice News Tonight Quick shoutouts to Class-less in New Jersey and James Penn in Vienna (who wants to meet more AoC-listening locals)! Have any questions, comments,

Too $hort (@tooshort) is a pioneer West Coast rapper who has probably been making music for longer than you've been alive. His new album, The Pimp Tape, drops soon. "When I died, I sold another 1.3 million albums." -Too $hort The Cheat Sheet: When and how did Too $hort die? (Spoiler: he hasn't, but don't tell Google.) How and why has Too $hort kept business separate from his personal life? How did Too $hort emerge from a middle class background to become an O.G. hip hop legend? What keeps someone going and remaining relevant over thirty years in the entertainment industry? Can music save lives? Too $hort thinks so, and has a new message for Oakland's modern youth. And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/660/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Skip Netflix tonight and join the millions of students learning and growing on Skillshare today -- AoC listeners get one month of Skillshare free by signing up at skillshare.com/charm! Combining high-tech sens

Russell Brand (@rustyrockets) is a comedian, broadcaster, actor, podcaster, columnist, political commentator, mental health and drug rehabilitation activist, and author of twelve books -- most recently Recovery: Freedom from Our Addictions. "If you live constantly confined by your unwillingness to go through pain, you do not develop into who you are supposed to be." -Russell Brand The Cheat Sheet: How the concept of the twelve-step program is applicable to all forms of attachment as a tool for transition. Why does it usually take a serious crisis to spur people toward seeking help for their addictions? Addiction is really the result of reaching for something external that already exists internally -- but exists in a place that's either unknown or inaccessible. Do we really overcome addiction, or is it an ongoing struggle that requires constant attention and maintenance? What does addiction want? And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/659/ Find out more about the team who makes The

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. This time around, Tinker Dabble Doodle Try: Unlock the Power of the Unfocused Mind author Dr. Srini Pillay rejoins us to talk about a process known as psychological halloweenism -- the act of taking on an alternative mindset as a way of unlocking creative potential. If you like this Minisode Monday, make sure to check out our full episode with Dr. Pillay here! Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: You don't have to be a little kid to benefit from the rewards of playing make-believe. We all tend to think of ourselves in one way -- we're good at some things and less adept at others. What happens when we mentally pretend to see the world from the perspective of someone else? Someone who, for instance, we imagine to be more creative than us? This is called psychological halloweenism, and it can be a powerful way to solve problems and cope with sit

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: How can you strengthen your discipline muscles to keep from backsliding into bad habits that hijack the good things you've accomplished? How can you learn to better calibrate your interactions -- especially if you're a freelancer constantly emailing companies with vastly different cultures? Feel like there's so much bad going on in the world that expressing celebration on social media almost never seems appropriate anymore? Just remember: empathy doesn't scale with the Internet. Should having to change your lifelong email address affect whether or not you take another name upon marriage? As a business owner, is it worth courting customers who can't (or just won't) follow simple instructions? When your girl wants to party all the time but you need a break for your own mental health, you must ask: What Would Eddie Murphy Do (WWEMD)?

Noah Kagan (@noahkagan) is the Chief Sumo at Sumo.com and AppSumo.com, sharer of all manner of entrepreneurial wisdom at OkDork.com, and podcaster at Noah Kagan Presents. The Cheat Sheet: Why limitations often spur innovation. Why side hustles aren't for everyone. What it means (and how) to build your wall a brick at a time. Why there's no hack for wisdom -- and how you should be learning. Why the success of a company should exceed the ego and recognition of its founder. And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/658/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! With pain-free invoicing, FreshBooks helps entrepreneurs and freelancers save time and avoid a lot of the stress that comes with running a small business. Try a month of unrestricted use for free here (no credit card required)! Enter ART OF CHARM in the How You Heard About Us section. Whether you're a lady or a gent, you don't need to know what MicroModal fabric is to enjoy the comfort of MeUndies; you

Dorie Clark (@dorieclark) is a marketing strategist, adjunct professor of business administration at Duke University's Fuqua School of Business, and author -- most recently of Entrepreneurial You: Monetize Your Expertise, Create Multiple Income Streams, and Thrive. The Cheat Sheet: How Dorie Clark basically won a Grammy for networking. Why it's better to optimize for the interesting instead of prioritizing an income level. How to build a career out of what might seem like disparate pieces of expertise and experience rather than focusing on just one thing. Why we don't make money from something -- we make money because of it. Why pursuing entrepreneurial ambitions isn't just for the fulfillment of some dreamy fantasy, but a means of survival in the modern workforce. And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/657/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! With Thrive Market, you get your favorite premium, organic, non-GMO products delivered to your door at who

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. This time around, we examine how even the negative emotions we experience originate as positive intentions on behalf of our subconscious brain -- and how we might use this knowledge to understand and better process them. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: Our subconscious communicates with our conscious mind using emotions. Every emotion, no matter how unpleasant, has a positive intent. Sometimes the connection between what we feel and why we feel it isn't obvious. This week, any time you experience a negative emotion, stop for a second and try to connect the dots -- imagine what the positive intention your subconscious brain is trying to communicate might be. Once we determine the positive intent, we can take the proper action to truly process this emotion. To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm C

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. This week, Kimberly Seltzer joins Jordan and Jason to set your questions right and help you course correct. Let's cut to it! In this episode: How do we cut off relationships with addicts when they're so good at making us feel sorry for them? Your good friend's significant other is a disrespectful, bossy mismatch, and it's obvious to everyone in your social group but him. Is there a way to hang out with him without her? When both partners in a long-term relationship have partaken of infidelities, can trust ever truly be regained between them? On paper, you seem to have your act together -- you maintain fitness, you have a good job, and you're friendly and outgoing. So why aren't you getting second dates or approached in real life by potential suitors? How do you help your best friend of 13 years maintain a healthy mental life and not get sore over his rebuffing of

The Art of Charm (@TheArtofCharm) trio of Johnny, AJ, and Jordan talk about the four components of a first impression that begin even before the first words are exchanged: static, dynamic, self-presentation, and circumstance. "You can't become a positive blip on someone's radar if they can't see you." -AJ Harbinger The Cheat Sheet: There are four components that go into making a first impression before first words are even exchanged. Static: This is your physique and the exercise, nutrition, and sleep that go into maintaining it. Dynamic: Your body language and not only what it communicates to others, but how it affects the way you feel about yourself. Self-Presentation: What you wear, how you wear it, and the grooming that demonstrates at least a basic understanding of style and hygiene. Circumstance: Where you spend your time and with whom you choose to spend it. And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/656/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! With

Roger Stone (@RogerJStoneJr) is a political consultant, lobbyist, and strategist, subject of Netflix's Get Me Roger Stone documentary, and author of The Making of the President 2016: How Donald Trump Orchestrated a Revolution. "One man's dirty trick is another man's civic participation." -Roger Stone The Cheat Sheet: Is Roger Stone a bona fide agent provocateur? How Roger Stone pulled a Frank Underwood by usurping power from the president of his class as a junior in high school. How is politics more about addition than subtraction? What are Stone's Rules, and how do they influence our current political landscape? Is Roger Stone an equal opportunity character assassin? On what issues might he diverge from others of a conservative leaning? And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/655/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! With pain-free invoicing, FreshBooks helps entrepreneurs and freelancers save time and avoid a lot of the stress that comes with runni

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. When you agree to meet with someone for the first time -- whether it's over coffee to discuss a startup idea or over martinis for recruitment to your counterintelligence team -- you should be prepared. The Code of Trust: An American Counterintelligence Expert's Five Rules to Lead and Succeed author Robin Dreeke rejoins us to share some of his strategies for first meetings. If you like what you hear here, make sure to check out our full show with Robin here. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: Know their generation. The time in which we grow up informs how we see the world. Baby boomers have a very different point of reference from millennials. Keep a truth. Robin wears a Darth Vader watch -- a prop that has authentic meaning to him and tends to spark conversation. It "builds affiliation through a commonality," he says. Let them choose the ti

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: How's a college kid expected to get a date without owning a sweet ride? Okay, okay. So dogs don't exactly see the world in black and white. Are the two toughest things in sobriety romance and finance? Fun fact we just made up: the average Colombian is into cocaine like the average American is into ballet. We helped a listener -- who paid attention to our networking and body language episodes -- ace his job interview! Afraid the check you want to cash from your deadbeat relative is going to bounce? Here's one strategy to make sure you get what you're owed without hassle. Do we have any tips for retaining and getting the most out of all the knowledge we drop on you almost every day? Documentary of the Week: Sour Grapes A quick shoutout to X and Y! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line a

Admiral William H. McRaven (@billmcraven) masterminded and executed the mission that brought down Osama bin Laden and is the author of Make Your Bed: Little Things That Can Change Your Life...And Maybe the World. "Opportunities, to me, are always the jobs that nobody else wants." -Admiral William H. McRaven The Cheat Sheet: What are the benefits to taking every day, as a Navy SEAL might say, "one evolution at a time?" What are the potential downfalls of having a 20-year plan? Why is taking advantage of opportunities more important than charting a course -- and how can we spot them? What are you proving when you're willing to take professional risks -- even when you don't succeed? What is the most important thing to understand about leadership? And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/654/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Learn over 500 subjects (no tests or homework!) at The Great Courses Plus -- The Art of Charm listeners get one month free here!

Robin Dreeke (@rdreeke) is a 28-year veteran of federal service, former head of the Counterintelligence Behavioral Analysis Program, and co-author of The Code of Trust: An American Counterintelligence Expert's Five Rules to Lead and Succeed. "You can be the most brilliant person on the face of the earth with the most amazing skills, but if you can't develop relationships and have trust, you're completely worthless." -Robin Dreeke The Cheat Sheet: Learn the Code of Trust's five principles and how they help us build rapport. Understand the difference between manipulation and trust. Discover why trustworthy people always rise to the top. Find out how to get others to open up and connect with us -- spy style. Recognize why real leaders put the needs of others before their own -- and don't keep a score card. And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/653/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! With pain-free invoicing, FreshBooks helps entrepreneurs and freela

This Minisode Monday, we try an exercise designed to make you consider the importance of perspective and useful illusions: how does your pet see the world? The Cheat Sheet: As we've learned from conversations with David Eagleman, Isaac Lidsky, and Jason Silva, reality differs by how it is perceived. If that sounds like woo-woo nonsense, try to consider how the world with which you interact every day is experienced by others. If you were to gain the magical ability to ask a dog, a cat, and a dust mite to describe the world around them, what kind of answers would you expect? The dog sees in black and white. The cat would strongly advocate for the safety of tiny boxes and high places. The dust mite's entire world might be the inside of your mattress -- something with which you interact every day, but have probably never seen (unless you really need a new mattress). The version of the world you would describe back to them would be just as varied, biased, flawed, and seemingly inaccurate. Though biased and flawed