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Welcome to Fan Mail Friday #36! No jibber-jabber, just a short show where we answer Art of Charm listener mail and give out mini-lessons for the weekend!In this episode:We get listener feedback about how to deal with someone who laughs awkwardly at inappropriate times (from FMF 35).Are you blind to the attraction signals that potential romantic partners are trying to throw your way? We talk about how to pick up on them extensively in the AoC Toolbox, but here's some short-form advice in the meantime.You don't have to be a fashion plate to dress appropriately for life's banquet without breaking the bank. Here are some tips to cover the basics. (Also see Indochino.)Now that he's trying to get out of his own shell, one of our Art of Charm bootcamp veterans is having trouble dealing with his shut-in best friend/roommate who prefers to remain a shut-in.Being lousy at remembering names, faces, and conversational context is a problem you can overcome -- Jordan is proof! The keys to your kingdom may just be locked in

Stephen Mansfield (@MansfieldWrites) strives to inspire men to form a Band of Brothers around themselves to help them perfect noble manhood in their lives.The Cheat Sheet:Learn why most men in contemporary society don't have a best friend.Why does Stephen believe that men need an older brother figure?What is a Free Fire Zone?Discover why assembling a Band of Brothers keeps a man on course to become great.Learn how to build this Band of Brothers.And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/stephen-mansfield-building-a-band-of-brothers-episode-460/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereviewStay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Duana Welch (@duanawelch) is known for applying social science to real-life relationship issues and is the author of Love Factually: 10 Proven Steps from I Wish to I Do, the only book that applies science to your love life from before you meet until you commit.The Cheat Sheet:Learn the four Attachment Styles and what they say about you and your relationships: Secure, Anxious/Ambivalent, Avoidant/Dismissive, and Avoidant/Fearful. How can you change your attachment style if you want to, and why do some opposites get attracted even though they're dead wrong for each other?You should be pessimistic about being single instead of being in a relationship because it’s probably going to kill you faster than being in a relationship.Married couples live with a much longer time-horizon than cohabiting couples.Science is about odds, not about certainty.And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/duana-welch-science-based-dating-episode-459/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, ple

Welcome to Fan Mail Friday #35! No jibber-jabber, just a short show where we answer Art of Charm listener mail and give out mini-lessons for the weekend!In this episode:What is the function of self-deprecation when striking up a new acquaintance, and how can you make people comfortable enough that they don't put themselves down while still valuing yourself enough not to do it, too?It's great that you're making positive strides toward changing your own life for the better, but how can you draw out your recluse friend and share the good vibes, man?When you have a great relationship with a significant other, it would be a bonus if your mother approved -- but it's ultimately not a necessity. (And if your relationship with your mother is also great, then she'll understand this -- even grudgingly).You could always answer your boss' awkward laughter with, "I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh?"When the other person in a relationship says that they need "time," should you wait

Bob Arno (@bambivalent) is a professional pickpocket who uses his powers for good. How? Find out in this episode of The Art of Charm!The Cheat Sheet:How does someone without a criminal background become a pickpocket?What are the psychological differences between a mugger and a pickpocket?Why do pickpockets tend to spot law enforcement before law enforcement spots pickpockets?What kind of shoes should you wear if you don't want to get marked as a target for pickpockets?How should you behave if you catch a pickpocket in the act?And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/bob-arno-pickpocket-king-episode-458/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereviewStay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hugh Culver (@HughCulver) teaches us how we can think better, plan smarter, and act now on what really matters by developing Hero Habits.The Cheat Sheet:The first secret of success is to learn failure is temporary.Which pain are you more willing to endure: the pain of discipline, or the pain of regret?Habits are not created in 21 days -- habits are created with rewards.Modifying good habits to suit certain situations is better than abandoning them. Example: Hugh has a workout that he does when he's traveling that's shorter than his regular workout -- but a shorter workout is better than no workout at all.Learn how fast switching to curiosity can help you avoid the habit-crushing negativity of self-condemnation by examining the "why?" behind occasional lapses in discipline (and learning from them).And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/hugh-culver-hero-habits-episode-457/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is wh

Welcome to Fan Mail Friday #34! No jibber-jabber, just a short show where we answer Art of Charm listener mail and give out mini-lessons for the weekend!In this episode:How do you deal with an overwhelming sense of envy that springs up whenever you encounter someone with more talent, better looks, or some other perk of an imagined "good life" that you feel you'll never experience? (Depending on your situation, therapy might be one way to address it.)A besieged Syrian under fire loves his country and doesn't want to leave; he writes in for practical advice from us and friends of the show who have experience surviving in war zones. Marine Sean Rafferty was kind enough to offer some of his best tips.An Art of Charm boot camp veteran sees his old friends in a new -- and unflattering -- light since returning home. Is he just a jerk, or have they always been negative, self-destructive, and unpleasant to be around?Are you more fun when you're single?A nice guy posits, as many nice guys before him: why do girls only

Lewis Howes (@LewisHowes) discusses his new book, The School of Greatness, and its framework for achieving real, sustainable, and repeatable success.The Cheat Sheet:What is a lifestyle entrepreneur?While interviewing successful people, Lewis Howes found eight common themes that they tend to share -- he calls them The Eight Principles of Greatness.Greatness looks different to everyone, but it's rare that anyone ever achieves it by accident.What is your dream? Are you striving to realize it, or are you hoping it falls in your lap by sheer luck?What do you do when your failures become bigger than your vision?And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/lewis-howes-school-of-greatness-episode-456/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereviewStay Charming!

Kimberly Seltzer (@SeltzerKimberly) gives us her five-step process for finding a therapist who is right for you.The Cheat Sheet:We all need help from time to time; there's absolutely no shame in seeking therapy -- just as there's no shame in consulting a tutor if you need help getting through trigonometry or organic chemistry class.Finding a therapist is like finding a dentist or any other professional who will have a meaningful impact on your life. You want to make sure you have a comfortable relationship.How do we begin the search for a good therapist?Here are five steps you can take in preparation for finding the right therapist.Something a lot of people don't know: if you have insurance, it likely does cover some degree of therapy and overall mental health care. Contact your representative for specifics.And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/kim-seltzer-how-to-find-a-therapist-bonus/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a r

Alex Kouts (@akouts) returns to The Art of Charm to talk about how to get hired at a startup (and if the startup life might -- or might not -- be a good fit for you).The Cheat Sheet:What is a startup?How does a startup find a sustainable product/market fit?What kind of person chooses the potentially unstable startup life over the safer options their parents keep nagging them to consider?The startup life is not a get rich quick scheme -- if you choose it, you'll probably work harder than you ever have before (but with the potential rewards to match).Why aren't you getting any startup job offers even though you've submitted your resume dozens -- or hundreds -- of times online?And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/alex-kouts-getting-hired-at-a-startup-episode-455/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Review the show in iTun

Welcome to Fan Mail Friday #33! No jibber-jabber, just a short show where we answer Art of Charm listener mail and give out mini-lessons for the weekend!In this episode:Sometimes your partner will complain just to vent about something that's bothering them, and other times they want legitimate solutions to their problems. How do you tell one from the other?Emotional conditioning can be a powerful force. A listener with a PhD in psychology chimes in about some advice we gave in Fan Mail Friday #31.Is tragedy a prerequisite for success and wealth, or can normality ever hope to compete?What happens when you can talk the talk to find a partner, but your skills lack in the sack?Immigrant insecurity is a real thing -- and it comes with a whole tapestry of negative feelings about self and society that can be hard to overcome.Contrariwise is a real word, and lack of vulnerability might be what makes your attempts at a long-term relationship so...vulnerable.True success needs no comparisons.Have any questions, comment

Mark Manson (@iammarkmanson) is the author of Models: Attract Women Through Honesty, and he blogs to an audience of millions about psychology and personal development.The Cheat Sheet:Love is not enough; people prioritize love over other more important values, such as self-respect, trust, and boundaries.The relationship scorecard is toxic habit 1, where people feel as though they are always "owed" things by their partner.Boundaries basics: taking responsibility for your own thoughts/emotions and expecting your partner to take responsibility for theirs.World travel is both empowering and limiting; you gain new perspective, but it limits your ability to form commitments.Realizing that everything you do doesn't matter is a good thing, because it means you no longer have any excuses not to be who you wish to be.And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/mark-manson-unconditional-communication-episode-454/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and wri

Zachary Stockill (@zfstockill) shows us how overcoming retroactive jealousy and possessiveness is as easy as learning to let go.The Cheat Sheet:All jealousy is related to insecurity in some way.How should we deal with the complex cultural politics of social media in 2015 as they relate to retroactive jealousy?What are your values?Jealousy and possessiveness often cause us to stay in unhealthy relationships for far too long.Is it fair to judge our partners based on their past? Or is the present all that really matters?And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/zachary-stockill-retroactive-jealousy-episode-453/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Fan Mail Friday #32! No jibber-jabber, just a short show where we answer Art of Charm listener mail and give out mini-lessons for the weekend!In this episode:While it might not be the end of the tunnel, it's good that you're seeing the light -- just make sure it's the right light.How do you practice genuine gratitude without coming across as a kiss-ass -- especially in the workplace?25-year-old virgins aren't as uncommon as you may think. (But if you're among them and you don't want to be, here are a few tips.)You may be aware that you're making progress in your life goals, but how do you quantify that progress?When you're giving a presentation, how do you deal with a question you don't really want to answer?How do you save time with one simple email?Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com!Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-32-advice-for-the-25-year-old-virgin/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you

Neil Strauss tells The Truth about past transgressions in his latest book, but it's more than just a head-cleaning confession -- it's an exploration of options most people probably haven't considered."Nobody's making you do anything. You have complete freedom of choice at all times. You just have to accept the consequences of that choice." -Neil StraussThe Cheat Sheet:We may look up to -- and even envy -- the rich and famous without realizing that fame just amplifies the flaws people already have. (05:59) We're not going on the line to say this is true in all cases, but many relationships get stronger after a tell-all confession. (08:18)What should you do first when you love your partner but you have a sexual desire for someone else? (12:11)How do people in non-traditional, non-monogamous relationships separate love and sex? (13:59)Two different people can be doing the exact same thing -- one for healthy reasons; the other for unhealthy reasons. But how? (24:28)And so much more...Show notes at http://theartof

If you can learn to tell a good story, you can captivate any audience -- whether as a public speaker, while interviewing for a job, or when you're on a date. "If there's one big piece of advice that I have -- albeit I have a lot of them -- it's: make sure that you are driven to tell the story that you're telling." -Amy Port The Cheat Sheet: Even the best, most personal story can be lost in the hands of a bad storyteller. (04:26) A good story is sculpted around Aristotle's three-act structure: exposition, conflict, and resolution. (05:59) What makes a story funny? (09:53) Where do we begin if we know we're not great storytellers? (14:33) What's your story's throughline (also, what the heck is a throughline)? (25:36) And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/amy-port-heroic-public-speaking-episode-451/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credibl

Welcome to Fan Mail Friday #31! No jibber-jabber, just a short show where we answer Art of Charm listener mail and give out mini-lessons for the weekend!In this episode:How do you learn to trust yourself and your instincts (especially when it comes to money)?A doctor brings a medical perspective to some advice we gave a listener in a difficult relationship back in Fan Mail Friday #27.Do phrases like "staying at home" and "left at home" make it sound like the person raising the kids and maintaining the sanctuary is doing something less than the person who goes out and brings home the paycheck?How do you overcome a negative association with something that is unfairly lumped in with a bad experience?Stop asking if you can afford to leave a job you hate if the real question is: can you afford not to? It all depends on your risk tolerance.Sometimes the best treatment for a case of Imposter Syndrome is a dose of keeping it real.Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at

Every interaction is a performance -- whether you're speaking up in a meeting, pitching a client, negotiating a raise, or walking into a job interview. Michael Port tells us how to steal the show."There's a benefit to being chameleon-like." -Michael PortThe Cheat Sheet:At its core, a good performance is genuine. (08:10)How do we separate our desire for validation from a desire to get results? (14:58)An authentic performance requires clear objectives (20:50)Avoid talking in absolutes (it invalidates your arguments). (27:30)Choose early, and choose often. (34:42)And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/michael-port-steal-the-show-episode-450/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

By recognizing in our own behavior what keeps us from being resilient against life's obstacles, we're empowered to stop the cycle and focus on what it takes to become mentally stronger."Every time you take your eyes off of your own goals and you start resenting somebody else, it's another minute that you didn't spend working towards whatever it is you want to achieve." -Amy MorinThe Cheat Sheet:How do mental health and mental strength differ? (08:37)Being mentally strong is more about self-awareness than acting tough. (09:54)There are three parts to building mental strength: regulating thoughts, managing emotions, and behaving productively despite your circumstances. (11:41)What wastes our time and energy to keep us from becoming mentally strong? (13:03)You’re only as good as your worst habit. (13:29)And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/amy-morin-mentally-stronger-episode-449/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! Th

Welcome to Fan Mail Friday #30! No jibber-jabber, just a short show where we answer Art of Charm listener mail and give out mini-lessons for the weekend!In this episode:Contrary to popular belief, a lot of intelligence agents have trouble pulling off the smooth James Bond routine when trying to genuinely interact with people in real life.Sometimes, being embarrassed by and hating your "old self" just means you've made progress. Still, don't be so hard on your old self -- he or she made the choice to become who you are today.Is it wrong to abandon your wallflower friends to mingle with the crowd in a social setting?When you're in a sales position, how do you sell yourself while staying authentic?How do you stop your impressionable cousin from joining a terrorist organization like, say, ISIS (or the Baseball Furies)?Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com!Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-30-social-cho