10% Happier With Dan Harris

We have talked a lot on this show about how perfectionism can have pernicious impacts on your psyche. Today we’re going to talk about how, by contrast, a certain kind of perfection is very much worth aiming for. We’re diving into another Buddhist list in this episode: the six paramitas, or the six perfections. These are six mental skills that you will never perfect, most likely. But simply working on them can confer massive benefits. My guest is Jetsunma Tenzin Palmo. She was born Diane Perry in England, but 55 years ago, she traveled to India, where she ordained as a Tibetan Buddhist nun. At one point, she quite famously spent 12 years living and practicing in a cave in the Himalayas. She’s now the Founding Director of the Dongyu Gatsal Ling Nunnery in India. We start by discussing her extraordinary life. Then we dive into the six paramitas. We talk about: why patience is a kind of armor, why we need other people to push our buttons, the importance of dissolving the small self to get to the perfection that l

My guest today makes a fascinating and potentially life-changing case. He argues that we need to reconsider how we view intelligence. He says that instead of viewing intelligence as the ability to think and learn, we should view it as the ability to rethink and unlearn. My guest, whose name is Adam Grant, says there is evidence that, in a fast-moving world, what he calls the “critical art of rethinking” can “position you for excellence at work and wisdom in life.” Not for nothing, in a world where many of us are stuck in our own information silos, the ability to rethink and open our minds may be one way we can dig ourselves out of our current societal divisions. Some of you may know Adam. He’s been on the show before. He’s an organizational psychologist, a TED speaker, a professor at Wharton, and the author of four New York Times bestselling books, including one that has had a big influence on me, called Give and Take, which is all about how generosity can contribute to professional success. I am happy to rep

Today we’re talking about one of the Buddha’s first and most important lists: the Eightfold Path. I’m kinda surprised we’ve never done a deep dive into this list on the show before, but better late than never. Some context before we dive in: The Buddha, as many of you know, was a congenital list maker. His first and foundational list was the Four Noble Truths. This is the list that begins with “life is suffering” -- which is something of a mistranslation; it basically means that life will be unsatisfying if you are constantly clinging to things that will not last, given the nonnegotiable fact of relentless impermanence. The second noble truth is that the cause of our suffering is thirst or clinging. The third is that there is a way out of this mess. And the fourth is a sort of manual for waking up and suffering less. That fourth noble truth is the Eightfold path. It’s a list within a list. And to help us unpack it all is a fascinating person named Brother Pháp Dung. He was born in Vietnam, came to the US with

For an audience of meditators (or aspiring meditators), the idea of doing nothing shouldn’t be foreign. But, speaking from personal experience, it is very possible, especially for Type A people, to approach meditation with an agenda. In which case, sitting on the cushion can be very far from truly doing nothing. Enter Jenny Odell, who makes a very compelling case for truly… doing… nothing. In her work, she is challenging what for many of us, myself included, is a deep-seated and sometimes subconscious reflex: to constantly optimize and constantly be “productive.” She is a Lecturer in the Stanford Department of Art and Art History and author of the bestseller How to Do Nothing, which just came out in paperback. She comes to the subject of time from a very different perspective than our guest on Monday, Ashley Whillans. (If you haven’t listened to that episode, go do it; these two make a fascinating pairing.) In this conversation, Jenny and I talk about: letting go of our constant demand for productivity and le

For many of us, in this pandemic, our relationship to time has become particularly fraught. You may be noticing that, with no limits on your work time, you are going into overdrive and feeling more crazed than ever. Or you may be feeling like you have too much time and are bored out of your mind. Or you may be feeling both. My guest, Ashley Whillans, is an Assistant Professor at Harvard Business School and author of the book Time Smart. She was recommended to us by a former guest, Laurie Santos, a professor from Yale and host of The Happiness Lab podcast. Ashley has a radical approach to managing your time -- or taking your time, to put a new spin on an old cliche. Her goal is to get you from a state of "time poverty" to "time affluence." In this conversation, we talk about: how to do a time audit; funding time, finding time, and reframing time; the surprising extent to which prioritizing time over money predicts happiness -- and what to do if you usually do the opposite; how to handle "time confetti"; and th

We’re diving in on another Buddhist list today. One of the many things I like about the Buddha is that, as far as I can tell, he pretty much always aims his messages, even the hard-to-swallow ones, at the pleasure centers of the brain. Even when he’s talking about ethics, which could come off as preachy or overly abstemious. Today, we’re going to talk about the Five Precepts. The Precepts are kind of like the Buddhist version of the Ten Commandments. Except, as you will hear, there is, by design, an enormous amount of flexibility in how you can interpret and apply these precepts. And undergirding it all is, as mentioned, self-interest. The reason not to steal or lie or kill is that, in the end, it protects your mind. My guest is Jozen Tamori Gibson, who has trained in the Sotō Zen and Theravada traditions, is on the Teacher’s Council for New York Insight Meditation Center, and teaches in a variety of other settings, including the Insight Meditation Society. Jozen’s pronouns are they/them. Quick note before we

On this Martin Luther King day, it’s tempting to fear that America, and the world, may never have been further away from the kind of inclusive society that Dr. King called for so eloquently. So today, we are, I hope, going to give you a little hope -- and perhaps also some ideas for how you can be an engaged citizen without losing your mind. My guest is Loretta Ross, who describes herself as a radical Black feminist, activist, and public intellectual. She’s a Visiting Associate Professor at Smith College, and she also teaches an online course that caught our eye. It’s called, “Calling in the Calling Out Culture.” She believes that “calling out,” which is quite common on social media these days, is adding way too much toxicity to the discourse and alienating people who might otherwise be allies. Instead, she believes in “calling in,” which steadfastly insists on a large measure of grace, and rejects the impulse to dehumanize. As you will hear, she is a longtime leftist, but no matter where you stand politicall

This is exactly what I needed right now: a huge, helpful dose of perspective in the midst of the political crisis gripping America -- a crisis which, of course, has ripple effects for the whole world. Jack Kornfield trained as a Buddhist monk in Thailand, India, and Burma. He went on to co-found the Insight Meditation Society and then its sister center, Spirit Rock. He holds a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and is a father, husband and activist. His books have been translated into 20 languages and sold more than a million copies. They include, A Wise Heart, After the Ecstasy, the Laundry, and his most recent book, No Time Like the Present. You may ask: what’s the point of meditating when the world is on fire? Jack has extremely satisfying and practical answers. We talk about how to deal with anger and fear, how to talk to our kids, and whether people can feel it when we send them compassion or friendliness. Two quick notes before we dive in: you may hear a little ticking noise on Jack’s audio for the first ten

If you’re either seething or scared — or both — in the aftermath of the attack on the US Capitol, this one’s for you. In times of national and international strife, we’ve made it a habit of turning to Lama Rod Owens. Rod was officially recognized as a lama by the Kagyu school of Tibetan Buddhism after doing a three-year retreat. He has a Master of Divinity degree from Harvard. And he has written several books, including his newest, which is called Love and Rage. In this conversation, which we recorded just yesterday, we talk about how to work with the anger and fear many of us are feeling right now. We also talk about how to communicate with people with whom we disagree; how to strategically divest from people and technologies that are depleting us (rather than self-medicating with distraction); and why the most important way to play a constructive role right now — although this may be counterintuitive for some people — is to start with yourself. Where to find Lama Rod Owens online:  Website: https://www.lama

I don't know about you, but I felt a lot of anger, fear, and sadness while watching those horrifying images from the United States Capitol on Wednesday. So how do we handle this with some degree of equanimity? That's what we're going to talk about today. It's Friday, which is when we usually post bonus meditations or talks, but given the collective trauma we are living through -- both in the US and around the world -- we wanted to post a special episode. I'll be honest... as a journalist and as a meditation evangelist, I can't sit here and guarantee that everything's going to be alright. I suspect it will be, but -- really -- I don't know. What I do know, though, is that meditation -- taking care of your own mind -- will help you navigate this moment more skillfully. And if enough of us do this, it might impact the course of events.  You know who agrees with me? Jon Kabat-Zinn. He's a towering figure in the world of meditation and mental health. He created Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction, a way of teaching

New Year’s Series Episode 4. Today we’re going to dive into the science behind why so many of us get New Year's resolutions so wrong -- and how we can do better. My guest is Dr. Laurie Santos. As you may remember, she made her debut on this show just over a month ago, in an episode about how to handle the pandemic winter blues. She was such a font of practical wisdom that we almost immediately invited her back.  Laurie is a tenured psychology professor at Yale, where she teaches a massively popular course on happiness. She also hosts an excellent podcast called The Happiness Lab, where right now, she’s doing a series of episodes along a very similar theme--what she’s calling “anti-resolutions”--so I definitely recommend checking that out.  In today’s conversation, we talk about why resolutions are a thing in the first place; why they so often go pear-shaped; and common pitfalls and misunderstandings in our attempts to lose weight, exercise more, or make more money. As we’ve been stressing in our New Year’s se

New Year’s Series Episode 3. We talk with Karamo about how to practice self-love--and why doing so is the opposite of selfish.   Karamo was the first out gay Black man on reality TV when he appeared on MTV’s The Real World: Philadelphia in 2004. But then he left TV and found out he was a father. He got custody of his son, adopted his son’s half-brother, and worked for a decade as a social worker before returning to the media world. He’s now the Culture expert on Netflix’s blockbuster reboot of Queer Eye. He also hosts his own podcast and is the author of a memoir as well as a children’s book, which he co-wrote with his son.   In today’s conversation, we talk about why, for Karamo, learning to love himself started with learning to love his first name; how he overcame negative messages inside his abusive childhood home; why men struggle so much with the concept of self-love; and the areas in his own life where he struggles the most to practice what he preaches.    How to join the New Year’s Challenge: Join the

New Year’s Series Episode 2. We talk with Chris Germer about the scientifically-proven benefits of self-compassion; how to practice self-compassion in your life; the disutility of shame; and the connection between self-compassion and compassion for others. Oh, and we also take some listener voicemails.   Chris Germer is a clinical psychologist and lecturer on psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. He also co-developed a highly impactful program called Mindful Self-Compassion, which has been taught to over 100,000 people across the world.   How to join the New Year’s Challenge: Join the New Year's Challenge by downloading the Ten Percent Happier app : https://10percenthappier.app.link/install. You should be prompted to join the Challenge after registering your account.   If you've already downloaded the app, just open it up or visit this link to join: https://10percenthappier.app.link/NewYearsChallenge21   Where to find Chris Germer online:  Website: https://chrisgermer.com   Social Media: ·        Facebook: ht

New Year’s Series Episode 1. We talk with expert meditation teachers Susan Piver and Jeff Warren about a radical approach to the new year: self-compassion. Susan and Jeff help introduce the New Year’s Meditation Challenge launching in the Ten Percent Happier app. And we respond to listener voicemail questions about how to operationalize self-love in our everyday lives. That’s right, we’re going all-in on self-love: leaning into the cheese, diving into the fondue, surfing the brie (a phrase that you’ll hear one of our guests today coin in real time). But I want to be clear: this is not sap for the sake of sap -- this is sap for the sake of science, and sanity.  As tens of millions of us go about the annual, humiliating ritual of making and then abandoning New Year’s resolutions, there is ample evidence that you are more likely to achieve your long-term goals if you pursue those goals not out of self-loathing or shame (which is the not-so-subtle subtext of the whole ‘New Year, New You’ slogan) but instead with

I, like many people, have the potential to get pretty dysregulated around food and body image. A lot of men don’t talk about this stuff, but there is plenty of evidence that this is a unisex issue. Especially during the holidays, when we’re surrounded by treats and stress-eating because we can’t see our family, or we can -- and they’re making us crazy.  This interview you’re about to hear changed my life. That’s an overused phrase, but in this case, it happens to be true. I came into this conversation with a rather hostile attitude toward my own body, filled with unrealistic expectations and unsustainable restrictions. Over the course of this encounter, you will hear my mind start to change. And ever since this interview was recorded, about a year ago, I have been working one-on-one with my guest, Evelyn Tribole, on these issues.  Evelyn is the co-creator of something called “Intuitive Eating,” which you can think of as kind of the anti-diet. Diets, she argues, do not work. Worse, they lead us to mistrust our

Vulnerability is not something I ever personally considered to be a valuable skill to cultivate. That is, until I met today’s guest, Brené Brown-- who helped me understand that being vulnerable is not about weakness, nor is it about sloppy oversharing. Instead, she argues, vulnerability is about honesty, realness, risk, and courage. All qualities that are very relevant for these turbulent times in which we are living.  Brené is a speaker, author, podcaster, professor, and researcher who has spent 2 decades studying vulnerability and courage, along with shame and empathy. She’s written 5 number 1 New York Times best sellers. She’s had a special on Netflix. And she’s spoken to a lot of high-achieving people about the importance of vulnerability, from executive suites to the CIA to the Seattle Seahawks.  We recorded this conversation in 2019, during a simpler time… but her insights are evergreen. Where to find Brené Brown online:  Website: https://brenebrown.com Twitter: https://twitter.com/BreneBrown Instagram:

I don’t know about you, but there have been many times during this wrenching year where I have made my pain even worse by adding on layers and layers of self-criticism. There’s a notion that is deeply ingrained in our culture that the only way to succeed -- or even to survive -- is to liberally apply an internal cattle prod. But there is research that strongly suggests that this approach simply leads to extra anxiety, and that there is a more successful approach, called self-compassion. My guest today has been at the very forefront of this research. Kristin Neff has empirically demonstrated the value of self-compassion; she has shown that it doesn’t have to lead to passivity, self-absorption, or cheesiness; and, as you will hear, she has practiced what she preaches in extremely difficult circumstances in her own life. All of this makes her, in my opinion, a figure of incalculable importance. We recorded this interview back in 2019, and it contributed to a major turning point in my meditation practice and in m

The notion of transmuting the difficult stuff in your life into something positive has become a cliche. Turning lemon into lemonades, making your mess your message, etcetera. But, as I have said many times on this show, there is a reason cliches become cliches: they’re true. And it is extraordinarily helpful, in my experience, when someone can re-language and revivify an ancient truth that has been ground into platitude through rote repetition. My guest today does just that. Fleet Maull spent many years in prison on serious drug-related charges. He used that time to fuel a deep meditation practice and public service career. He’s practiced for nearly five decades in the Zen, Tibetan, and Vipassana Insight traditions. He’s also written a book called Radical Responsibility. In this episode, we talk about how to, in his words, turn the gnarly stuff in your life into a gift (or, as an old Buddhist expression has it, how to use your struggles as “manure for enlightenment”). On that note, midway through the intervie

How much would your relationships improve if you could up your emotional intelligence game? That phrase -- emotional intelligence -- entered the lexicon 25 years ago, when my friend Daniel Goleman wrote a book by the same name. And so on this episode, to mark the 25th anniversary edition of Emotional Intelligence, we’re having Danny on the show. By way of background, he is a Harvard-trained psychologist who, along with other contemplative luminaries such as Joseph Goldstein, Sharon Salzberg, Jon Kabat-Zinn, and others, went to Asia and discovered meditation in the 1960s, and then made it a huge part of their lives and careers. In this conversation, we talk about: the four components of emotional intelligence, how to develop them, and why these skills matter so much during the middle of a pandemic. We also discuss: empathy and relationship management in the age of zoom; the “marshmallow test” and impulse control; a phenomenon he calls “amygdala hijacks”; and why so many Jewish kids in the sixties and seventies

Sam Harris (no relation to me, by the way -- although I wouldn’t mind it) has had a formative impact on my contemplative development. He was one of the first “normal” (at least that’s how I computed it, back when I was still a rather judgmental skeptic) people I met who was really into meditation, which gave me a lot of courage and inspiration to pursue the practice myself. He later helped me get into my first meditation retreat with his old friend Joseph Goldstein, which was a massively important event in my life and the beginning of a deep relationship with Joseph. For those of you who aren’t familiar with Sam, he is a neuroscientist, philosopher, author, podcaster, and app founder. I first heard of him in the mid-aughts, when he wrote a book called The End of Faith, which was a jeremiad against organized religion. I was surprised to learn that he had spent, cumulatively, several years on meditation retreats. He later wrote a book which touched on those subjects, called Waking Up. That is also the name of h