Journal Theory

I used to think things needed to go a certain way. High school, then college, then career, then marriage, then baby. That was the right way… until it wasn’t. It had always been a dream of mine to get married and have babies, but I was already married. Married to the idea that these series of events needed to happen in a specific order if I wanted them to last. It was ridiculous but nonetheless it was my belief. Now I truly cannot complain. I was in a committed relationship (with my now husband), living a good life and working a wonderful job, enjoying a new city. Life was good. But I wasn’t ready to have babies. I mean we weren’t even married for crying out loud!! – eyes roll- This was important to me, and to some in my family. It was important to me only because I thought thats the way it was supposed to go. If I was married, then that means I would get the commitment. If I was married, then it would be socially acceptable to have a baby. If I was married it means I would have been fulfilling my life plan… I