The Art Of Charm | High Performance Techniques| Cognitive Development | Relationship Advice | Mastery Of Human Dynamics

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right! Your company just got bought and your future there is uncertain. Is this week's holiday party an ideal networking event with the new overlords? The best way to get depressed and down on ourselves is to assume that we can read other people's minds. Negative feedback needs to be taken in balance. (If we took our negative feedback at The Art of Charm too much to heart, we wouldn't have two shows under our belts -- let alone 574 full episodes, 31 Minisode Mondays, 93 Fan Mail Fridays, and regular bonuses along the way.) You've followed our advice for attracting new people into your life (particularly Kira Asatryan's Stop Being Lonely tips from episode 504). But what happens when you seem to attract particularly needy people? In our recent interview with returning guest Philip McKernan, Jordan got into the preparation required to make a good show. When it comes to life

Sally Hogshead (@SallyHogshead) tells us how we can make anything fascinating in as little as one hour by applying the principles of her book Fascinate: How to Make Your Brand Impossible to Resist. The Cheat Sheet: Are you pistachio or vanilla? Different is better than better -- learn why standing out and knowing how to fascinate is your greatest competitive advantage. Neurologically, the process of fascination is similar to the infatuation of falling in love. Discover how to find your particular strengths and use them for maximum leverage -- not just in business, but in life. Take the fascination test to identify what makes you different -- so you can do more of what you're already doing right and less of what detracts from your strengths. And so much more... Gentleman's Box is a men's subscription service that provides men around the world with four to six men's style and grooming essentials in a monthly box. Use promo code "CHARM" at checkout to save $5 off any subscription option at Gentleman's Box here

General Stanley McChrystal (@StanMcChrystal) talks about more than 34 years of service in the US Army and his book Team of Teams: New Rules of Engagement for a Complex World. The Cheat Sheet: See leadership from a special forces perspective. Understand why flexibility and adaptability are the cure for an unpredictable landscape -- in contrast to a system that values strict adherence to rules that limit rather than guide best practices. Learn techniques for ways we can build flexibility in ourselves. Find out why relationships are the key to success of any organization -- military or otherwise. Discover how we can develop relationships and networks to improve our own organizations. And so much more... Avoid trips to the post office with Stamps.com -- The Art of Charm listeners get a postal scale and $55 of postage for free here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who make

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. This time around, 30-year military aviator and procedure specialist Karen "BattleAxe" Baetzel rejoins us to talk about respect and practical ways to avoid misunderstandings. The Cheat Sheet: Respect is an important foundation for avoiding misunderstandings. But what is it? To avoid misunderstandings, the military (across all branches) is careful to implement a common definition for certain words -- like respect. Karen "BattleAxe" Baetzel says, at its core, "respect is a take on what is right and what is wrong." Try to think back to a time when you inadvertently offended someone -- or when you were inadvertently offended -- by a perceived lack of respect during the interaction. It's possible the misunderstanding was the result of not sharing a common definition of respect. This is further complicated by the fact that respect can be a noun (

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: What do you do when you have resting grumpy face (you may know it by other names)? You could try the "smizing" exercise at The AoC Challenge -- but don't tell Matthew Kimberly. How do you woo potential employers in another country when you need a work visa sponsorship? What would Dan Ariely say about a life coach's motivation in trying to get you to become a life coach? A listener who spent time in the Air Force chimes in on Jordan's jet lag cures. Could voice lessons help you stop mumbling and low talking? Quick shoutouts to everyone in The Art of Charm Challenge Facebook page! We hit 5,000 people over the Thanksgiving weekend here, which is not something we ever expected. One of Jordan's favorite things to do each morning is check in with the group and watch what everyone is posting in there. It's for women as well as men (in fa

Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) is a film and television writer, former host of The Lip TV, and long-time friend who turns the tables and interviews The Art of Charm's very own Jordan Harbinger (@TheArtofCharm) in this one. The Cheat Sheet: Learn more about The Art of Charm's origin story and its continuing evolution. What does it mean to "Huck Finn" your way through life? What's the cost of trimming the fat from an incredible success story? How can you tell the difference between people who offer genuine life lessons and so-called gurus who use the self-help platform as a pyramid scheme? The role of luck in business and relationships. And so much more... Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the dis

Susan Winter (@susan_e_winter) is an Oprah-featured relationship expert and author who rejoins AoC to show us how to handle a breakup in minutes instead of months with tips from her recent book Breakup Triage: The Cure for Heartache. [Photo by Linda Tanner] The Cheat Sheet: Love is an extreme sport: we all need to know how to recover after a crash. Why do breakups seem to happen more often around the holidays? Learn how to dismantle your ex's power to affect you and move on. Understand and dispel a number of relationship fallacies -- namely the Perfect Partner Myth, the Bad Partner Myth, and the One and Only Partner Myth. Regain mental clarity, emotional serenity, self-esteem, confidence, and wholeness with the help of Susan's Breakup Triage steps. And so much more... Avoid trips to the post office with Stamps.com -- The Art of Charm listeners get a postal scale and $55 of postage for free here! Want three free rides up to $10 each? Download the free Lyft app today and enter promo code AOCPODCAST in the pay

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. This time around, we explain why comparing yourself to others is a toxic habit -- and one you should make a promise to stop doing sooner than later. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: Comparing ourselves to others we somehow perceive to be more accomplished is something we all do from time to time. The problem: it's a never-ending battle we can't win. To some, comparing ourselves to others almost becomes an obsession as unhealthy as drinking, smoking, drugs, or complaining. It's even worse if we compare ourselves to friends, family, or others we consider close -- because we can't appreciate their success without feeling personal loss. Mindset: The New Psychology of Success author Dr. Carol Dweck went a little deeper with this phenomenon in our show with her here. When we're close to people we perceive as successful, we should appreciate the

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: How can you develop a stronger, more commanding voice? Some great listener advice for Actress in Distress from Fan Mail Friday #87 whose boyfriend is leery of the romantic scenes she inevitably has with other actors. How does Jordan take notes when he's reading books from future guests? (Three tools mentioned: Google Docs, Evernote, and Audible) Is there value in getting a degree for the experience and "educated person" status, even if you hope not to use the degree in your career? Can a relationship in doubt survive a little time apart while you each focus on your own priorities? A quick shoutout to Justo -- Susan Winter's porter over in NYC -- who I heard listens to the show. What a coincidence! The whole building thinks he's listening to Bachata, but he's listening to The Art of Charm. I love that. Have any questions, comments,

Susan Cain (@susancain) of Quiet Revolution tells us why being introverted is not a disadvantage -- nor is it an excuse for shying away from social situations on one's own terms. The Cheat Sheet: How "quiet" came to be a pejorative term as the west urbanized and placed more value on personality (extroversion) over character (introversion). Better ways to understand our introverted friends (or selves). Action steps for introverts to become more social. Why being an introvert might actually be an advantage -- in social situations, negotiation, and creative pursuits. Why brainstorming doesn't work and is mostly a social exercise vs. a creative one. And so much more... If you want the most amazing shave possible, take it from us: use a fresh DSC Executive blade and Dr. Carver's Shave Butter -- two reasons to join Dollar Shave Club here today! DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 V

Mike Massimino (@Astro_Mike) is the astronaut who sent the first tweet from space and the first spacefarer we've had on this show! He's the author of Spaceman: An Astronaut's Unlikely Journey to Unlock the Secrets of the Universe. The Cheat Sheet: How is bedtime on a space shuttle mission a lot like a slumber party? Why assembling a team around you is crucial for success -- whether orbiting or staying on the surface of the planet. Why it's important to take small, deliberate steps in the right direction for the sake of your own happiness. How to stay focused on the task at hand in the face of disaster by thinking like an astronaut. Why even astronauts have imposter syndrome. And so much more... Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Learn over 500 subjects (no tests or homework!) at The Great Courses Plus -- The Art of Charm listeners get one month free here! Avoid trips to the post office with Stamps.c

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. In this Minisode Monday, Jeff Goins, author of The Art of Work: A Proven Path to Discovering What You Were Meant to Do, joins us to go beyond the overused (and essentially meaningless) "follow your passion" advice and help us find out what we're good at and how we can use it to be useful in the world in a fulfilling way. The Cheat Sheet: Following your passions or making use of the skills that come naturally might be great for finding hobbies or jobs to pay the bills -- but how can they direct you toward your life's calling? What do you love doing with your time? What do you think you're good at doing? What do you have that the world needs? The sweet spot: where passion, skill, and demand intersect to give you a purpose to pursue. Pick something that fits into this sweet spot and, for the next 30 days, see how pursuing it feels. If it rema

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: Is it possible your body's clock is determined at least as much by when you eat as by when you sleep? What are globetrotting Jordan's secrets for conquering (or at least not being completely TKO by) jet lag? (Swanwick blue light blocking glasses, soft earplugs, and a Sleep Master sleep mask are recommended in the mix.) A former boss who didn't listen to his employees and was never satisfied at work tells us how he turned over a new leaf thanks to the patience of those same employees. As a leader, how can you lead on those days when you just don't feel like it? Does having a significant other take away from the "selfish" lifestyle that seems to be calling your name? Being a "friendship snob" may have served you well early in life, but how can you make the change from a friendship scarcity mindset to a friendship abundance mindset w

Tom Wainwright (@t_wainwright) of The Economist shares the harrowing and sometimes grisly experiences he endured to write Narconomics: How to Run a Drug Cartel. The Cheat Sheet: Understand the parallels between the drug trade and regular businesses. Learn how ideas of economics and business apply to any entrepreneurial or business venture. Discover how drug cartels engage in corporate social responsibility, branding, and even PR campaigns. Hear why drug cartels franchise, regulate labor, branch out online, and diversify into legal (and ubiquitous) industries. Perhaps most intriguing of all: find out how an economist gets discovered wearing a GPS device to a meeting with a drug lord and lives to tell the tale! And so much more... If you want the most amazing shave possible, take it from us: use a fresh DSC Executive blade and Dr. Carver's Shave Butter -- two reasons to join Dollar Shave Club here today! DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even tat

John Ruhlin (@ruhlin) returns to share some of the best network-enriching tips from his book Giftology: The Art and Science of Using Gifts to Cut Through the Noise, Increase Referrals, and Strengthen Retention -- just in time for the holidays! The Cheat Sheet: How gifts and generosity make people at work want to help you. How to become an attention broker and stand out above the noise. How to get past a busy person's gatekeeper and turn them into an advocate. How you are wasting your "networking" dollars and time and what to invest in when it comes to relationships. Why your significant other hates your gifts and what to do to make sure she or he is blown away by your future gift selections. And so much more... Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Working with other people? Struggling to keep everyone on the same page? We use Basecamp 3 at The Art of Charm, and it's the only platform you're going to n

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. This time around, we talk about the importance of applying critical thinking to documentaries, news, and other media presentations to avoid being manipulated by their biases without having all the facts. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: Critical thinking is a valuable skill -- but how often do we put it to practice? Have you ever been influenced to behave in a certain way based on information presented to you in a documentary? We should keep in mind that even the most fair-minded documentary is biased to some degree. Facts are flavored to support a premise -- but can you pick up what the filmmaker's trying to feed you? Try watching a documentary this week and look for the holes in the argument. Try to discern the filmmaker's motivation behind making it. What's the angle? To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: Unless Kimberly Seltzer or Duana Welch have time in their busy schedules to help us out, we acknowledge our advice to women sometimes misses the mark -- and we apologize. We have a listener set us straight on what we should have said to 'Soldier' on Fan Mail Friday #84. As Philip McKernan told us earlier this week, what you're good at doing doesn't always align with what you want to be doing. How do you find the time to assess if your talents are keeping you away from your purpose? What is the appropriate way to respond to questions you don't want to answer? Here's some support and advice to Fan Mail Friday #87's Monica from a listener who knows a thing or two about the liability of a toxic family that can't get over the mistakes you've made in the past even as you make incredible personal improvements. Think you've touched on som

Philip McKernan (@PhilipMcKernan) rejoins The Art of Charm to discuss his new film Give & Grow. It depicts a unique journey of uncovering people's hidden and dormant gifts that have the ability to affect others, and the potential to change the world. The Cheat Sheet: Do you keep busy as a way to avoid doing the important -- but often difficult -- things in life? What's the cost of not regularly giving ourselves permission for time to do nothing? Learn the importance of uncovering your personal gift, the cost of not uncovering it, and how to uncover it in the first place. What's the difference between a talent and a gift? What's the difference between finding your gift and following your passion? And so much more... Avoid trips to the post office with Stamps.com -- The Art of Charm listeners get a postal scale and $55 of postage for free here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Whether you're a lady

Nathan Chan (@foundr) built multi-million dollar Foundr Magazine -- a digital magazine for aspiring and novice stage entrepreneurs -- in three-and-a-half years by networking and sheer hustle. He's here to share some of his best secrets, including how to establish connections with hard-to-reach people. The Cheat Sheet: The tools for getting in touch with hard-to-reach people. The importance of serving first and asking later. Why you should never get disheartened when you get "no" for an answer. Pitching in a way that makes it about your subject and not about you. Why offering to work for free isn't always as generous as you might think. And so much more... Learn over 500 subjects (no tests or homework!) at The Great Courses Plus -- The Art of Charm listeners get one month free here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Working with other people? Struggling to keep everyone on the same page? We use Base

In this Minisode Monday, David Burkus, author of Under New Management: How Leading Organizations Are Upending Business as Usual, joins us to talk about a better alternative to the compliment sandwich -- that annoying phenomenon where "constructive criticism" (aka something negative) is given between two compliments as a way to cushion the blow. The Cheat Sheet: The recipe for a compliment sandwich: Hey! You're great! | something terrible about you or something you've done that you don't want to hear | But you're still really great! This is designed to cushion the blow of criticism by buffering bad news between two bits of good news. The problem: it's disingenuous and psychologically confusing. What is the person being served a compliment sandwich supposed do with the information presented? In an office setting, for instance, they may well wonder if they're being promoted or fired when the boss offers them this sandwich most unsavory. David recommends this alternative to the compliment sandwich (courtesy of P