Birds In A Tree

In honor of Mother's Day, I sat down with my mom Jane to talk about what it was like to raise me and my siblings. Growing up poor in Appalachia, my mother showed us through her actions how important family and education were. As the wife of a career police officer, my mother was able to get her master's degree while raising three children and caring for her elderly mother. She hustled working multiple jobs for many years to put food on the table, and she still made time to make homemade baby food, hand sew costumes, outfits and cabbage patch kids, and generally be the best mother ever. Oh, and then there was that one time she had a baby in the front yard. Happy Mother's Day to my fierce, resilient, compassionate, giving mother Jane.

SPECIAL EPISODE. Today's show features Jen, a mother who has a disabled son. Her and her husband found out during her mid-pregnancy ultrasound that their son would have major facial deformities, and after consulting experts in the field, had James at a facility three hours from their home to ensure he would live. James has to be hooked up to a ventilator every night in order for him to breathe. It is lifesaving equipment, and it is expensive. James is a "lifetime limit" baby. He hit the million dollar mark - the lifetime cap the insurance companies had in place before the ACA - when he was fourteen days old. If you like Affordable Care Act, please listen. If you do not like the Affordable Care Act, please listen. If you are pro-life or pro-choice or Republican or Democrat or Independent, please listen. And please share. Her story is important. Her son's life depends on the A.C.A.

Jenny and her husband have two beautiful boys, but there have been bumps on their parenthood journey. Jenny suffered a miscarriage in her first pregnancy, and felt as though she was not supposed to talk about her loss or even have feelings. Through her second pregnancy, she hoped for a natural childbirth at a birthing enter, but after more than twenty hours and the diagnosis of infection, she rushed to the hospital and had to have an emergency c-section. Also, after suffering from debilitating migraines for many years, she made the decision on the advice of medical specialists to undergo a hysterectomy. All of these challenges have made her stronger. Her hope is that by talking openly about her struggles, more mothers will feel that they have permission to feel their feelings and talk about the more difficult parts of parenthood.

Maria and her husband are the parents of four children. A military family, they decided early on in their marriage to pursue adoption when they had retired. After months of paperwork and investigation, the family welcomed a baby boy into their home from China. Born with a cleft palate, Maria faced a unique set of challenges bringing him home. As conservative Christians, Maria and her husband decided before their children went to public school that they would home-school instead, and they have been on many mission trips as a family. She tells me about their adoption process, what life is like as a home-school mother, and making parenting decisions always keeping in mind their faith.

How do you build your life back after making the biggest mistake you've ever made? How do you do it while being a parent? Rocki is the ultimate tale of redemption. After spending two years in federal prison, Rocki regained custody of her children and built her life back out of the ashes. She met other mothers in prison and shared their love and grief, and became a successful businesswoman, upstanding member of her community and mother following her release. It's an incredible story.

Suzanne and her husband raised four artistic, creative, independent children and were preparing to enjoy retirement when they received a phone call that changed their lives. They became foster parents and legal guardians to their three granddaughters while their daughter and son-in-law sought treatment for addiction. The children came to live with them on Suzanne's 60th birthday. She talks about the grief of not knowing how to help their daughter during her darkest days, being overwhelmed and unprepared for raising three little girls, and the hard climb back to normalcy for the whole family.

Nicole has always felt a strong sense of community and helping those in need. As a member of many boards, a volunteer for many causes, and a champion of people with disabilities, prominent members of the community began asking her to run for elected office. So that's just what she did. While serving her community as a city council member, Nicole found her soulmate (another public servant) and the two have been together ever since. She talks about her very first campaign, the joys and challenges of being a public servant, and where she sees her public life go from here (including a possible run for the Maryland House of Delegates.)

Kristin and her daughter we a team of two until she met and married her husband and the family dynamic changed. She was also determined to get her undergraduate degree and then her masters degree even while being giving birth and raising two more daughters. Now a teacher, Kristin is facing the looming responsibility of sending her oldest off to college, knowing that these are the last months her daughter will be home. Her daughter also lived through a horrific incident during school that made them all reevaluate empathy and forgiveness. Her story is as multifaceted as it is encouraging.

Lauren had no intention of ever becoming a parent. A successful business owner, she decided early not to have children. Then she met and eventually fell in love with a man who had full custody of his three kids. Wanting to make sure they "did it right," Lauren and her husband took it slow and formed meaningful relationships with his children. Then they married, and everything changed. Lauren talks about the growing pains of marrying a family, and how she made it work raising teenagers not biologically her own.

There are so many paths to becoming a parent. Bre and her husband have been able to become parents thanks to in vitro fertilization. The mother to a daughter and a son, Bre explored IVF after her and her husband went through testing to determine their fertility. Bre has become an advocate for parents who are traveling the road of IVF. She also wrote a blog about her journey, and is active in supporting parents who are in the process of getting pregnant through IVF. Her blog: http://onestepatatime-bre.blogspot.com/

How does a feminist Naval Officer reinvent herself as a military wife and mother? My guest Maggie has done it with soul searching and lots of humor. Her husband is deployed for months out of the year and she knows that everyday he faces dangerous situations. Although she has traveled the world and given her children many unique adventures, the childcare is solely her responsibility while her husband is deployed. Maggie talks about transitioning from serving her country to raising her children, surviving the Japanese earthquake and tsunami of 2011, and finding herself in every new city.

Andee and her husband Bob moved to a new town three days before the birth of their second child. Not knowing many people, they relied on their love for music, theater and church to foster new relationships and become a part of their community. Forty years later, Andee reminisces about raising her children, opening her own tea shop, and how love of music became a common thread in her family.

Eric and his wife Jes lost their daughter Seraphina in the summer of 2016. After Jes spoke to me about their loss, Eric wanted to offer his perspective in the hopes that he could help other people in their situation. Eric talks about his beautiful daughter, about the differences in how he and his wife have processed their grief, and what he needs to do to protect and care for his family moving forward. If you or someone you know has lost a child, please visit The Compassionate Friends website to find a local chapter support group. www.compassionatefriends.org

Jes and her husband Eric are the parents of two children; Django and Seraphina. Seraphina passed away in the summer of 2016 from an asthma attack. The family has been navigating through their grief and their new normal in the months since her death. I am honored and humbled that Jes would share her story, in the hope that it will help other grieving parents through their suffering.

Have you ever wanted to make a major life change? Jessica and her husband have done just that. After contemplating a move across the country for nearly a year, she accepted a job in Portland and will be moving her family there. Knowing that their current life wasn't what they wanted for their two year old daughter, Jessica is making brave changes in their location and lifestyle to give their child the life they dream of. She talks to me about her desire to make a better life for her family, and her fear of the unknown.

Meet our first father!!! Tim is the dad of two daughters - a four year old and a one year old. Tim grew up in the country and as a musician, and is raising two daughters to appreciate music and live in the city. He tells me all about how he handles hair braiding, toenail painting, and princesses.

Raven is the mother of a beautiful 19 month old boy. She gave birth to her son when she was 18 years old, and feels that although being a young mother has its own set of challenges, her experience also comes with a lot of joys specific to young motherhood. Raven and her mother are both parents to very young children, and they are enjoying a unique experience of raising babies together. She talks about the fun of experiencing motherhood with her own mother and how giving birth to her son made her "grow up."

Elizabeth is the mother of three boys, two of whom are on the autism spectrum. Elizabeth struggles with the daily needs of her children, including therapies and three hour trips to see specialists. Although she wouldn't trade her experience or her boys personalities, she talks about her challenges and what she wishes more people understood about her sons' disorder.

Shelley has had a hard life. Her father was murdered, her mother went to prison, and she became a young mother. But Shelley knew she wanted an education. After two decades of hard work, grit, and determination, she completed her graduate work in counseling. She talks to me about her struggles and her unwavering resilience to show her children that knowledge truly is power.

Mary is the brilliant mother of three grown men who are as interesting as they are fun, and her and her husband are adjusting to life with them out on their own. They are reporters at the family business, the local newspaper, and Mary has written about her boys in the past. She talks to me about enjoying every age and living in the moment.