Dwarfcasts (a Red Dwarf Podcast)

Hello hello and welcome back onto the rack. In a shock twist that even we didn't expect, we've actually come good on our promise to start up our regular DwarfCasting routine again. This time Cappsy, Danny and Ian are going page by page through Issue 6 of the Smegazine, which gives them plenty of opportunity to be all smug and self regarding about those early 90s idiots and their casual ableism and homophobia. Hurrah!

In my own personal and humble opinion, Red Dwarf fans are very lucky to have something like the US pilots. The mystery and excitement of them during the 90s and the black market in increasingly terrible copies are a defining part of many of our fandoms. Despite the fact we've still been unable to source a decent quality copy of either pilots, the time has come for Ian, Danny and Cappsy to commentate on these pilots 30 years after they were ill-conceived.Show notes Pilot #1. Pilot #2. With thanks to the G&T Malcolm in the Middle correspondent Stephen Hegarty for his... contribution. Craig Bierko's 30th anniversary message for Dimension Jump XX. Red Dwarf USA clips featured in ABC's The Best TV Shows That Never Were. The early edit. A full and mostly clean version of the RD USA theme tune. Todd Rundgren's Wikipedia entry. Rob Grant's buttski to return to America?

Surprise! We didn't plan to have a summer break, but a summer break we indeed have had in order to recharge our batteries and hide from the dreaded Burnout Monster. We've got a bit of editing catchup to do, though, so we're breaking with tradition and giving you another Smegazine Rack today while editing on the Red Dwarf USA episode is finished (well, started). Grab your complementary copy of the mag here.Show notes Danny's much stolen 'Smegopoly' board. We can confirm that Rob Grant *did* say "tomato juice" in his interview with Vox Magazine. Thanks to @reddwarfzone and @plus_haut for the scans. Mark Gatiss and David Walliams's Doctor Who Night sketch that features a Red Dwarf t-shirt and poster. Bourbonhenge.

It seems a lot has happened since our last episode of The Smegazine Rack. We've launched and re-launched our incredibly original game Smegle and... well, that's about all that has happened, hasn't it? Yes, yes, definitely. Anyway please join your incompetent (by design) hosts, Ian, Danny and Cappsy as they climb up into the cab, fire up the slumbering beast and crack on... with the job of reading through every episode of the Smegazine.Show notes Danny's mysterious co-star revealed.

If you're reading this then there's a decent chance that at some point in your childhood or early adulthood you sat down on a Friday night and enjoyed the feast of mechanical violence that was Robot Wars. For older Millennials and young Gen Xers watching this show went hand in hand with being a Red Dwarf fan, not least because the host was, from series 2 onwards, Craig Charles himself. And it's for that reason Robot Wars qualifies for our series of 'Dwarf-adjacent' commentaries as we seize with both hands the opportunity to talk at length about a show very dear to our hearts for... quite a long time.Show notes Christopher Wickham's Ludicrously Niche blog posts on Robot Wars. Robot Wars Series 1 trailer, featuring Norman Lovett. Cheesoid hate self. Cheesoid kill self. Yes, there was a Robot Wars Celebrity Special in which Vic Reeves operated Diotoir, and yes it's on YouTube. Ant from Behemoth has a little strop. That time Jeremy Clarkson was nearly decapitated. Craig's other '90s technology-based

Come, rest your tired ears on our giant rack. As sure as 2 follows 1, so it is that 3 follows 2 and Ian, Danny and Cappsy have a good read of the third Smegazine issue. Also featured: Badge talk! The End end! Danny vs Cappsy quiz! Caption competition results! Letters! Slander!Show notes Why the Cat's introduction frame in the comic strip is a Tory. Cappsy mentions a video of a cat spooning food into its mouth. Here is said TikTok video, reposted onto Twitter for the benefit old people. One of thousands of incidents of deadly spiders being found in bananas. One of the good fan fictions: Homecoming by Paul Giachetti.

In a small break from our regularly scheduled programming (and while we figure out what commentary we want to do next) we've put together another tottering stack of waffles for you you cram into your eager maws. Just how much of this episode is devoted to talking about cats? Who will Danny impersonate this time? Will Cappsy be hearing from the RSPCA's lawyers? Find out!Show notes Advert for Flying Horse energy drink which explores the physics of cat / toast interactions. The safest way to drop a cat from a tower block. The buttered toast phenomenon. Dad barred from kids' school for accidentally wearing rude Red Dwarf t-shirt. 'Suggestion for a DwarfCast' forum thread. Caitlin Moran being a twat about Red Dwarf fans. Our Vindalunar live blog and the YouTube  "highlights". Handy Andy's Andy Warhol Handy Wall Holders.

It's time to get back on the rack (get used to that one, because we might have to use it every episode) as Ian, Cappsy and Danny continue trawling through the sticky pages of the Smegazine and, as tradition dictates, Issue #2 follows Issue #1... so here we are. Before you press play, be sure to have the issue in front of you in your PDF viewer of choice so you at least have a slight chance of knowing what the actual balls we're talking about.Show notes Three Wolf Moon The Reconstructed Heart, which aired in September 1992 in the end, not February. Sonic The Comic didn't start until March 1993 actually, Ian. Cappsy's two favourite piece of Red Dwarf fan fiction - The Last Temptation of Kryten by Richard Street and The Plan by Seb Patrick. The elusive Video Competition attachment has been located! Screenshots here: One - Two - Three - Four

Carrotists assemble, for it is time to travel back to the time of violent revolution, flamboyant trousers, Le Pimpernel Scarlet and *very* suspicious sausages as DwarfCasts continue its series of 'Dwarf adjacent commentaries' with the classic episode of Blackadder the Third, Nob and Nobility. We also take the opportunity to talk at length about our love for the show while answering your Bladder specific waffles.Show notes Danny's nerd alarm was miscalibrated - Ian was right about the antidisestablishmentarianism bit coming from the first episode of the series Behind the scenes footage of the Blackadder Goes Forth rehearsals. Red Dwarf finished 18th in the BBC's 2004 Britain's Best Sitcom poll. Tom Blades performed the guitar solo for Red Dwarf's opening titles, but Howard Goodall can't remember if it was him or Ian Lawes on Blackadder. The opening credits to The Flashing Blade - a possible inspiration for The Black Adder.

Ok everyone, put on your baseball caps on backwards, wear clashing colours, like Morrisey, 'pop' an 'e', sing 'Barcelona', be surprised at Denmark winning the Euros, experience the same dates on the same days as you will in 2020 and correctly believe Sonic to be superior to Mario because we're going back to 1992! In the first of what will be... *checks*... a lot of fucking DwarfCasts we're going through every issue of the Smegazine one by one, until we be done. Ian's read them all exhaustively over the years, and for whatever reason Danny and Cappsy... haven't. What's going to happen??Show notes

Once in every lifetime, Comes a 'Cast like this, Oh, we need you and you need us, Oh my darlings can't you watch The Young Ones along with us after the pips and then stick around afterwards for a suitably themed Waffle Men?Show notes Adam Buxton's ramble chat with Charlie Brooker Alexei Sayle's Imaginary Sandwich Bar Man ejaculated out of anus and urinated faeces for two years. More at 10. The Two Ninnies CORRECTION: Smith and Jones were in the first series proper of Not The Nine O'Clock News; Ian was thinking of the aborted attempt at a series that was scuppered by a general election being called, which featured only Rowan Atkinson of the later-established cast. Neil's Heavy Concept Album on Spotify Oh, No! Not THEM! title sequence

IT. IS. DONE. 3 men, 4 Books and 16 episodes in just under 16 months. Our series of DwarfCast Book Club finally draws to a close as Ian, Cappsy and Danny wrap up Backwards, with our thoughts on High Midnight and The Difference II. Was Ace's death tossed off too quickly? What noise do popping bones make? Did Rob Grant go too far this time? Find out within!Show notes Take a look at this SCSI socket: Rick and Morty fucking off to another dimension (multiple times) The Waco massacre, three years before Backwards A load of Bolas The alternate ending to the audiobook

It's waffle time! Again! That's right, to mark the occasion of the whole G&T trio being in the same room for the first time since that spiky red cunt fucked everything up for everyone, we thought we'd have another stab at a Wafflemen Special, since the last one seemed to go surprisingly well. So, join the slightly giddy and tipsy Danny, Cappsy and Ian as they heave their enormous, waddling frames in front of the microphone to discuss all the things you see in the banner, AND MORE.

It's been a little while coming, but please take your seats, grab a coffee and arrange your notes because the book club is back and we have a lot of... interesting material to cover. Join a crossed legged Ian, Cappsy and Danny as they wince their way through what is undoubtedly the moment that Rob Grant's Backwards takes a bit of of a turn to the sadistic. But never fear, because Ace also makes his triumphant return, thus signalling that everything will be absolutely fine. Right?Show notes The mid-90s Virtuality system and the that may have influenced AR on Red Dwarf. See also the later VFX1. Valve's Gabe Newell lays out his aspirations for the terrifying future of entertainment Red Dwarf The Movie synopsis Rob's pronunciation of Agonoid names in the audiobook Boston Dynamics' latest shenanigans What if the Earth Stopped spinning? The urban myth of the metal cocktail umbrella up your urethra

For the first time in far, far too long, a small army of Red Dwarf fans laid siege to the Nottingham Crown Plaza last weekend. We called it Dimension Jump XXI, and the last survivors converged on Sunday night to see what they could remember under the glare of our microphone. So join Ian Symes, Fan Club team members Andy Holland, Dan "Pendo" Pendleton and Shelley Smith, plus attendees Dave Billingsley, Si Bromley, Stephen Fletcher, Peter Jones and Jo Sharples as we run through such diverse topics as Lee Cornes meeting his alter ego, Doug Naylor's plans for future projects both?Dwarf and not-quite-Dwarf, Danny John-Jules's reworked lyrics to Tongue Tied, touching tributes, scandalous cheating and taking Johnny Vegas to bed.Show notes Transcript of Doug's video message This year's costume competition entrants Lee Cornes meets Confidence & Paranoia The story of the Partick Thistle Away Subbuteo set Johnny Vegas sings American Pie

Literally no one asked for it, but yet here we are anyway - a whole podcast devoted to Wafflemen, our regular segment from the commentary episodes in which talk about whatever Dwarfy topic you, the listener, so desires. So, join Cappsy, Danny and Ian as they desperately search for something we can cancel Red Dwarf for, finally settle on whether it was Rob or Doug who was the real funny one and generally just, well, waffle on.Show notes Discussion of Ace Rimmer's gay panic Cappsy being an idiot about the Sonic 1 level select code Bread Dwarf is discussed within the inaugral edition of Coffee Lounge Cock Ian's Doctor Who watch-through blog, Curiosity in a Junkyard The YouTube video that Danny wishes he could unsee (WARNING: graphic content, NSFW, click at your own risk):

What's that now? You wanted more backwards stuff in your Backwards novel? Well, have we got the DwarfCast for you! Yes, whether you like it or not, in this episode Cappsy, Ian and Danny go Back to Backworld one last time as Rob Grant forces us to consider the reverse logistics of, let's say, a few too many bodily functions. Thanks Rob.Show notes Cappsy was about a decade out with his timeline of the Star Wars defence system Mitchell and Webb's Rebecca parody The tits and arses of the Czech Backwards book cover

IT. IS. DONE. I feel like we've been going on about milestones quite a lot recently, but to add to our previous BBC-era accomplishment we have now finally recorded a commentary for every single extant episode of TV Red Dwarf! Whether or not this ends up being the last ever remains to be seen, but let's hope we'll be returning to our longest running feature sooner rather than never. Before that, though, join Ian, Danny and Cappsy in this feature length commentary of the Dave era's finest, The Promised Land.

Yes, I'm sorry, I know we asked you to smoke us some kippers and I realise that we gave you a very specific idea about the sort of time you'd expect us back, but sometimes these things take a little longer than expected, ok? The kippers will be fine, we'll have them cold in some kedgeree or something. Please, stop crying. Yes, that's right, your three favourite ace holes have returned with the next instalment of the DwarfCast Book Club, which this time is all about part 2 of Backwards, Smoke me a Kipper, I'll be Back for Breakfast. Why is Louis Pemberton a perfect human being? How did Lewis Pemberton save Red Dwarf? Is Ace really all that great when compared to Lewis Pemberton? Lewis Pemberton? Ian, Danny and Cappsy discuss all that, and more!Show notes Bob Mortimer's Train Guy Armstrong and Miller's RAF pilots Big Train's parody of A Matter Of Life And Death The 1983 Soviet nuclear false alarm incident Some nerds who are way too obsessed with a TV show tell us about Class M planets

Another day, another DwarfCast milestone as we have finally completed our commentaries on all traditionally lengthed Red Dwarf episodes, marking an end to a series of casts going back to 2006. Unless Series XIII comes along, of course. Also, we're going to do The Promised Land in a few weeks. And we'll likely revisit some old episodes if we feel like it. But still. Anyway, join Ian, Cappsy and Danny as they jump between dimensions to see if they can find a reality in which Doug remembers he wrote Dimension Jump and Stoke me a Clipper as they have a jolly old time talking over the final episode of Red Dwarf XI, Skipper.Show notes Matthew Clark's Twitter thread on TV working hours TOS article on Series XI's effects The AA's giant Starbug festering in a car park Official GNP confirmation that Back To Earth isn't Series IX