Dr Karin Love & Life

Recently Dr. Karin appeared on the Odyssey Resilience podcast to discuss dating and anxiety!  From Odyssey Resilience:  “Dr. Karin Anderson Abrell is a psychologist, author, podcast host, and musician. Her book, Single is the New Black: Don't Wear White 'Til It's Right is a word of empowerment to singles—encouraging them to stay strong amidst “single shaming,” live life on their own terms, and never ever settle for anything less than an extraordinary relationship.  A former professor, Dr. Karin now hosts Love & Life—a podcast providing informative discussions grounded in an holistic understanding of psychology to help us thrive in all realms of love and life. She can be found on Instagram @dr.karin and X @DrKarinAnderson and on her website, www.loveandlifemedia.com.” Learn more about Odyssey Resilience here: https://www.odysseyresilience.org/  Sponsors: Authentixx  Website: http://www.authentixx.com Code: LOVELIFE for 10% off your order! The Wellness Company Website: ⁠https://www.twc.healt

Elliott and I have been meaning to debate this question for a while now—so here it is! Elliott married at the tender age of 22 and, as for me, I was 42 before Dan and I tied the knot. We both have strong, loving marriages. We’re both incredibly happy. But, we took very different paths. Over the years, we’ve had fun taking sides—with Elliott proclaiming the benefits of marrying young and me asserting it’s better to wait. But, what does research say? And, which couples end up in Elliott’s office due to crises? Those who married younger or older? Join us for part 1 of our “debate” about when it’s best to marry.  Spoiler alert:  Elliott actually concedes a point to me—this rarely ever happens in any disputes we have! But, I’m guessing I’ll be conceding a few points to him in part 2. :-) Sponsors: Authentixx  Website: http://www.authentixx.com Code: LOVELIFE for 10% off your order! The Wellness Company Website: ⁠https://www.twc.health/lovelife⁠ Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order! Dr. Karin & Pastor

Imagine this: you’ve worked your whole life to swim at the collegiate level. You make the team at an Ivy League school. All those sacrifices paid off—you’re competing at the elite level! And then, before your sophomore year, a guy joins the team. His name is Will, but he now goes by Lia because during his junior year, he decided he was a woman and started hormone therapy. You don’t think it’s right that a 6’1” man will take the place of a female teammate–a girl who’s worked as hard as you did to earn her spot on the roster. Furthermore, you’re uncomfortable with a man changing in the women’s locker room. You mention this and you’re told, “You should get some psychological support.” None of this makes sense. None of it is fair. But, if you discuss it—even with your teammates—you’re called “transphobic.” You stop talking about it because no one’s listening. You finish your senior year and then head to New York for your first job. But, you’re still mad about it. You know men competing against women is

In the midst of newlywed bliss, we often overlook the importance of presenting ourselves to our families and friends as a united front. That is, until our in-laws begin to meddle and make inappropriate demands . . .  Of course, we remain respectful of our parents and in-laws. Of course, we want to avail ourselves of their wisdom and guidance. But, a young couple (or not-so-young couple) must demonstrate to their families (and to themselves) that their primary allegiance is to each other–NOT to their families of origin. It’s a complex, difficult process which involves grieving the loss of former alliances. For example, a father and daughter may have always had a special bond–which is wonderful–but now, the daughter’s primary connection needs to be with her husband.  Learn how to grieve these losses while simultaneously establishing healthy, appropriate boundaries with our families of origin.  Elliott and I discuss all this and more in today’s episode!  Sponsor: The Wellness Company Website: ⁠https://www.twc.

You have questions. We’ve got answers! As part of our series on Elliott’s premarital counseling curriculum, we shared 2 episodes about how to cultivate true sexual intimacy and fulfillment.  We received some feedback from listeners whose sex lives are extremely difficult. They don’t intend to leave their marriages for various reasons–there are children involved, or they love each other deeply despite the physical disconnectedness, or they don’t believe sexual incompatibility warrants divorce–but obviously, they’re very unhappy with the status quo.  Specifically, listeners asked us: 1. What if my spouse is emotionally abusive? I’m not going to leave because we have children and I don’t want to disrupt their home. But, it’s brutal having sex with someone who’s cruel, demeaning, and volatile. Any thoughts? 2. Our sex life isn’t going well, but my spouse refuses to go to counseling. How can I make things better? 3.  feel like our sexual relationship is one sided in that my husband always gets his needs met, bu

A 2016 Pew Research Poll found that just 44% of respondents consider shared religious beliefs to be key to a successful marriage. Therefore, 66% of us aren’t too worried about aligning spiritually with our partner. But, is it wise to minimize this? Actually, according to multiple studies, couples who pray together DO stay together. In fact, marital satisfaction is highly correlated with religious affiliation and committed practice. Join us for our responses to this data—and other research findings which highlights the importance of aligning spiritually with your partner.   Citations: Effects of Religious Practice on Marriage What Couples May Not Realize About Relgion and Marriage Sponsor: The Wellness Company Website: ⁠https://www.twc.health/lovelife⁠ Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order! Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson --- Send in a voice message: ht

Dave Wayne had found his passion and purpose in life. As a psychiatric nurse, he’d gained the respect of both his peers and superiors–so much so, that he won a prestigious award at his hospital!. Not long after receiving this accolade, Dave was fired. Why? He declined to take an injection of an experimental product.  But as so often happens in life, our darkest moments propel us in a new direction–one that’s more aligned with our values and better suited to who we’re meant to become!. And, in Dave’s case, his skepticism around Big Pharma had already made him realize a profession grounded in pharmaceutical interventions wouldn’t be a fit for him long term.  Dave now serves as a holistic health coach. He emphasizes the importance of nutrition, lifestyle, and mindset on our emotional well-being as he helps clients “describe” from medications. Join us to learn how you can thrive free of Pharma!    Sponsor: The Wellness Company Website: ⁠https://www.twc.health/lovelife⁠ Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!

We started an occasional series a while ago called, “Empowered Evolving” in part, because I saw so much shifting all around us. Beliefs that had once been considered integral to folks with certain philosophical ideology, now seem to be embraced by those on the opposite side of things. Furthermore, over the last several years, we’ve witnessed the abolition of core American rights I thought we all valued.  Very strange times, indeed. I called the series, “Empowered Evolving” as a way to remind myself—and anyone else who might have been feeling unsettled, as I’ve felt over the last several years—that evolving IS empowered. We used to encourage people to question authority and do our own research and think for ourselves and ask for second, third, and fourth opinions. We warned each other to resist tribalism and group-think. Americans were pioneers, independent minded. We read Thorough’s Civil Disobedience in high school and lived by Shakespeare’s “To thine own self be true”  Naturally, when you live out such prin

Sometimes, even when we’re well into adulthood, dynamics from our family of origin continue to impact us and our relationships.  We may be physically distant, but still emotionally enmeshed! Oftentimes, we remain entangled in family drama, which consumes our time and energy. What’s worse—it robs us of the emotional bandwidth necessary to pursue healthy, romantic partnership.  We may not actually be available for love—even though we deeply desire it and long to meet our person.  Join us to learn 2 key principles from Family Systems Theory which will greatly enhance your ability to relate to your family of origin with emotional maturity.  As an added bonus, healthier family relationships lead to healthier relationships with EVERYONE in your life—including with yourself, your friends, and your romantic partner! Sponsor: The Wellness Company Website: ⁠https://www.twc.health/lovelife⁠ Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order! Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empower

In Elliott’s final session of his premarital curriculum, he delves into a topic which all too often proves incredibly difficult for couples to discuss—sex. We began this conversation in episode 295 but, because there’s obviously a lot to talk about, we broke it up into 2 parts. Elliott shares Biblical wisdom to help couples cultivate deep, meaningful sexual connections. He also provides practical steps for every stage of marriage—whether you’re newlyweds hoping to establish a firm foundation or you’ve been together for years and years but have lost that spark. No matter where you are in your love journey, this episode is for you! Sponsor: The Wellness Company Website: ⁠https://www.twc.health/lovelife⁠ Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order! Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/love-and-life-med

In the final session of Elliott’s premarital curriculum, he helps couples develop habits and dynamics necessary for cultivating sexual intimacy and fulfillment. Step one—you need to be able to talk about it! As Elliott notes, many couples struggle to discuss this most important element of their relationship. Elliott shares the key questions he poses to couples to assist them in establishing a solid foundation for the physical expression of their love and commitment.   Sponsor: The Wellness Company Website: ⁠https://www.twc.health/lovelife⁠ Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order! Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/love-and-life-media/message

Four years after “2 weeks to stop the spread” and I’m still reeling. They say, “Get over it. Move on! COVID’s done.”  Of course, I’d like to forget about it. But, it doesn’t feel “done” to me. I’m still trying to get my bearings.  Elliott says it’s Post COVID Trauma. We all feel it to some degree. And, we all deal with it differently. How could we NOT be traumatized? We’d never experienced anything like it! The world shut down. We lived in fear. People died. We couldn’t say goodbye. Kids stuck at home. Masks and 6 feet of separation destroyed human connection. Alpha, Delta, Omicron, what’s next? From a bat? Lab leak? Who’s telling the truth!?!? Don’t ask questions. Fauci’s the boss. NOTHING to be done—just wait for the “vaccine.” Skeptical of an experimental shot? What are you, a grandma killer? I could go on and on . . . If you’re feeling some Post COVID Stress Disorder, please join us for what amounts to a therapy session☺️ Elliott helps me move through the emotional fallout of being a

In the fifth session of Elliott’s premarital curriculum he discusses the relationship dynamics related to money and power. Karin is out of town this week so Elliott and Tim tackle this topic and address the following issues: How do we communicate with our partner about finances? What role do you play with your partner in relationship to money? How do money and power co-exist in the context of a partnership? What does the Bible say about money? We can live empowered lives in relationship with our finances! Sponsor: The Wellness Company Website: ⁠https://www.twc.health/lovelife⁠ Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order! Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/love-and-life-media/message

We all know conflict is unavoidable. And, it’s certainly inherent to marriage. In the fourth session of Elliott’s premarital curriculum, couples take a deep dive into all aspects of conflict. We know it’s inevitable, but can conflict actually strengthen our bond and cultivate intimacy? Specifically we address: Why does conflict happen?  When is it most likely to occur?  When disputes arise, what’s really going on beneath the surface?  Methods for disagreeing with fairness and maturity. Working with your own conflict style and that of your partner.  How conflict CAN bring comfort! Learn how our differences CAN strengthen your connection! Sponsor: The Wellness Company Website: ⁠https://www.twc.health/lovelife⁠ Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order! Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/s

As we all know, if something is “out of order,” it’s not working.  So, too, in marriage!  In session 3 of his premarital curriculum, Elliott discusses the importance of “order” in marriage. He shares key verses in Ephesians 5 with which some couples struggle. Elliott asserts a deeper understanding reveals how husbands and wives are empowered by these Biblical instructions. He reminds us that although we’re not all wired for structure and order, we need to find a God ordained rhythm that works for us as a couple. I share some examples from our marriage roles which, though traditional, feel authentic and empowering. Join us to keep your relationship in order!  Sponsor: The Wellness Company Website: ⁠https://www.twc.health/lovelife⁠ Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order! Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.c

We’re continuing our series on engagement by sharing Elliott’s premarital curriculum with you

Elliott sent me this Key and Peele clip the other day: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/wOBNm_8zw4I I immediately texted back, “We need to record an episode about this!” The bit starts with Key sharing an unpopular opinion about a movie.  Peele responds with a phrase we hear all the time these days, “That’s awkward!” Key is confused. What’s awkward about an opinion? He protests but Peele continues to shut him down with dismissive phrases like, “Okay . . . ” and “All right . . .” It’s a funny sketch that reveals a great deal about our current social environment. The terms and phrases we use are powerful—they reflect current norms while also framing how we experience our interactions and relationships. Meaning, when we perceive common day-to-day conversations as “awkward,” we respond accordingly i.e. we tell ourselves to be uncomfortable and hence increase the likelihood we’ll feel anxious. Think about it. We could just as easily label common day-to-day conversations as “normal—maybe surprising, maybe confusing,

Last week, Producer Tim and I discussed the joys of an easy marriage.  But we know, of course, this isn’t everyone’s experience! We definitely wanted Elliott to share how he helps couples in difficult marriages improve their connection so they can enjoy each other more—and maybe even find that ease and fluidity they’ve been lacking! Specifically, we discuss: Semantics around the word, “easy.” Why Elliott thinks it’s often more about a secure connection, as opposed to an “easy” one. The fact that couples with avoidant attachment styles might have what seems to be an easier marriage, but how this could reflect a lack of depth in their connection. When an easy marriage might actually be in trouble! Strategies for couples struggling with a difficult marriage—your marriage CAN get easier! No matter the dynamics of your relationship, please join us! Sponsor The Wellness Company Website: ⁠https://www.twc.health/lovelife⁠ Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order! Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Web

The Love & Life family is a diverse bunch—from singles, to those exclusively dating, to engaged couples, to marrieds, to divorced folks back on the scene again. We’re all at different places in our love journey. As we thought about what we wanted to share for Valentine’s Day, Producer Tim suggested we grapple with the following:  Are relationships doomed to be a constant struggle? Do they have to be SO hard? Could marriage actually be easy? Since it was Tim’s idea, I asked him to share his thoughts and experience with the topic.  Specifically, we delve into the following: What makes a relationship easy? Do opposites attract and if so, won’t this eventually lead to strife? If we marry someone similar to us, won’t things get boring? How do conflict styles factor in? What role does attachment style play in terms of relationship ease? We then take a look at the psych research, of course! We also weave in clips from a song I wrote for Dan called Breathing—“It’s like breathing, so easy, lo

We interrupt our series on engagement to bring you Elliott’s presentation on trauma, which he shared recently at his church. How do we define trauma? What experiences leave a trauma wound? How do these wounds impact our relationships? What does the Bible have to say about trauma? Is there hope for healing? If so, how do we heal? We’ve all experienced some level of trauma—Big T or Little t. Perhaps you never fought in a war zone or were the victim of a violent attack, but we all recently endured a global pandemic and, as Elliott explains, COVID response measures certainly traumatized us individually and collectively. Join us for a word of hope and strategies for healing! P.S. Elliott wanted us to include the hymn I sang at the end of the service.