Dr Karin Love & Life

When life doesn’t play out as planned, we experience loss—of expectations, hopes, and dreams.  And, as with every loss, we grieve.  But how do we grieve something we never had in the first place? Christina and Genet of The Radical Stepmoms podcast join me to discuss just that—grieving the life they thought they’d have, while still embracing and cherishing the life they do have.  At some point (or many points!) in life, we all find ourselves stepping into roles and realities we didn’t anticipate.  Join us to learn strategies for navigating these uncharted waters. Radical Stepmoms Website: radicalstepmomspodcast.com Dr. Karin Website: loveandlifemedia.com --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support

I often get asked, “What we should be looking for when dating?  Which qualities indicate a person will be a committed, solid, loving partner?”  Recently, I came across a framework by psychiatrist Dr. Stephen Marmer describing emotional maturity.  As I examined the model, I was struck by how the characteristics of maturity mirror those qualities we need in a romantic partner—if we’re hoping for a lasting, loving, secure connection.  Dan joins me to discuss these 5 traits and how we’ve experienced them—and in past relationships, not experienced them!  We wrap up the episode answering a listener’s question about how to differentiate between her intuition and inner critic. Citation: https://www.prageru.com/video/its-time-to-grow-up/ Website: loveandlifemedia.com --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support

It’s time for another Love & Life Q&A!  In this episode, I answer two questions I recently received.  One listener asks how she can possibly maintain hope for finding love; she’s over 40 and feeling demoralized and worries she’ll never meet her person.  Another listener wonders if she can salvage a relationship that’s gone off course.  After seeing a guy for a couple months, she asked the proverbial, “What are we?” question.  They argued and now he’s stonewalling her.  She asks me, “What can I do to get him back?  I really like him!”  I wrap up the episode by sharing details on how to join the Love & Life book club and Love & Life support groups I’m rolling out this fall! Website: loveandlifemedia.com --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support

We are kicking season 5 off with Dr. Duana Welch to discuss attachment styles and dating!  Have you ever experienced the following? ·        You felt an initial spark, but got turned off when he/she came on too strong. ·        Someone ghosted you after what you thought was the beginning of a very happy relationship. ·        You found yourself bored by someone who is stable and kind. If so, your attachment style may have played a part! According to developmental psychologists, the bond you form with your primary caregiver in childhood sets the tone for the way you connect to others in adulthood.  Dr. Duana Welch, author of Love Factually: Attachment Style Dating Made Easier, explains the difference between Secure, Anxious, and Avoidant attachment and the pros and cons of each—spoiler alert, there are positives to anxious attachment!—along with how an understanding of our attachment style can hel

We’ve all heard that journaling can be therapeutic.  But how does writing down our thoughts and feelings heal our emotional wounds?  In this episode, we explore all this and more with Stacy Brookman of “Life Story Laboratory.” Stacy shares how writing helps us process our experiences, recover from trauma, and take back our power!  Stacy explains how we can discover our life’s “theme” and reframe it if it’s not working for us.  She encourages us to identify any lies we’re telling ourselves and replace them with the truth—that we’re strong, capable, and tenacious!  According to psych research, writing fosters resilience and cultivates confidence.  Join us to learn how to implement this powerful practice in your life! Website: loveandlifemedia.com Citations: https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/figure/10.1080/10503300701691664?scroll=top&needAccess=true https://newsroom.ucla.edu/releases/Putting-Feelings-Into-Words-Produces-8047 https://msutoday.msu.edu/news/2017/for-worriers-ex

We’re celebrating Love & Life’s 100th episode! And, as a thank you to our Love & Life family, we’ve made this episode all about what you love most! We start by discussing the inspiration behind your three favorite Instagram posts—the mindset shifts that helped me remain hopeful and positive despite multiple heartbreaks over my MANY years of dating. We then break down a powerful approach from cognitive therapy to sustainably level up our emotional well being—even during the most painful and challenging times. I then answer 3 listeners’ questions and announce the Love & Life 100th Episode Celebration Giveaway! And the best part? Everyone’s a winner! Website: loveandlifemedia.com 

Sunday, July 26, 2020 is the 12th annual National Auntie’s Day—a day for celebrating the special bond between women and their nieces and nephews.  It’s an opportunity to highlight the unique and important contribution aunts make to the development of the children in their lives.  I’m an aunt and so are many of you, so I’m pleased to welcome the founder of Auntie’s Day and author of Otherhood: Modern Women Finding a New Kind of Happiness, Melanie Notkin, to the program!  In our conversation, Melanie and I discuss: ·        How women of The Otherhood manage their ongoing and currently unmet desire for marriage and family. ·        The question almost every woman of The Otherhood has asked herself, “Should I settle for a ‘good enough’ guy in order to have children?” ·        How to handle invasive and insensitive questions/comments about your life e.g. “You must have focused too much on your ca

It’s time for another Love & Life Q&A! The first listener asks, “When the guy I’m seeing seems to ‘get quieter’ than he was before, should I pull back?” Another listener wonders, “Why would a man lie about his feelings?” And finally, we delve into the reality that there’s no such thing as a “conflict free” marriage. In fact, according to research by the Gottman Institute, 69% of problems in a relationship will not be solved. A listener asks me specifically, “How do you and your husband agree to disagree? How do you maintain a healthy relationship yet still disagree with each other?” Dan joins me to share how we’ve navigated conflict and challenges in our marriage.

If you’ve been brokenhearted—and, most of us have—you know how excruciatingly painful it is. In fact, brain imaging shows us that the same neural systems involved in physical pain are involved in emotional pain i.e. the angst of a broken heart isn’t so dissimilar from the pain of a broken bone. And frankly, many of us would acknowledge that it feels way worse! So here’s some help for the broken-hearted!  In this episode, I share the science of heartbreak—spoiler alert:  neurologically speaking, you’re essentially addicted to your ex—along with three tangible strategies to help you move past the one who wasn’t right for you, so as to find the one who is!Sources:https://divorce.lovetoknow.com/Rates_of_Divorce_for_Adultery_and_Infidelity#:~:text=While%20adultery%20is%20no%20longer,20%2D40%20percent%20of%20divorces.https://signalscv.com/2019/11/research-how-many-marriages-end-in-divorce-because-of-infidelity/#:~:text=40%25%20of%20adults%20who%20have,are%20currently%20separated%20or%20divorced.&text=In%20contr

What would you do if your partner strayed? Would you leave immediately or try to forgive the betrayal and move on? Could trust ever be rebuilt? Would the indiscretion haunt you forever? When vows have been broken, is a relationship ever salvageable? Marriage and family therapist, Jennifer Lehr, works with couples struggling to repair their relationships post infidelity. The good news—restoration is possible. The better news—it takes a lot of work. How is work BETTER news? Because, as Jennifer explains and the research substantiates, in-depth therapeutic work allows many couples to emerge from counseling stronger, more intimately connected, and happier in their marriages. Yes, infidelity can have a silver lining! Join us to learn:· How to rebuild trust and intimacy after betrayal.· Strategies for therapy when one partner wants to work on the relationship and the other doesn't.· The Two-Person System model and why it’s important in relationships and marriage.· Red flags and yell

A few years ago, I met a young woman in her late twenties. As we began chatting, she shared she was going through a divorce. Her ex was addicted to OxyContin—a prescription pain medication. Fast forward a few years, and I learned some startling and terrifying facts—that in 2014, my home state of Ohio led the nation in deaths from heroin overdoses and in 2016, it earned this same distinction from opioid overdoses. I had no idea what was going on, but I suspected that diagnostic inflation and Big Pharma played a role. (For more on why I came to this conclusion, please listen to my interview with Dr. Allen Frances in episode 22). So, when I came across Sam Quinones’ book, Dreamland: The True Tale of America's Opiate Epidemic, I knew I wanted to invite him to the program to help us understand how the Heartland became America’s hotspot of heroin and opioid addiction. In our conversation, Sam describes:· The “perfect storm” that moved heroin from the fringe to the suburbs.· How a letter to the Ne

One topic I haven’t covered extensively is sex. So, when life coach Laurie Gerber reached out requesting to appear on the show to share her slightly controversial philosophy about sex, I figured it was high time we delve into this important element of love and life! Laurie specializes in marriage and relationship coaching and has appeared on Dr. Phil, Dr. Oz, and the TODAY show. Join us to learn:· Her philosophy on sex which rekindled the spark in her 20+ year marriage.· How Laurie’s feminist ideology impacted her sex life.· The mantras that eroded the romance in her marriage.· Lies we tell ourselves which impede our goals and dreams.· Questions to ask yourself when you’re dating with purpose.· The critical difference between dating expectations and standards.No matter what your relationship status—single, dating exclusively, or married—Laurie’s candid account and wise counsel will inform and inspire you!Laurie's special offer for Love & Life listeners:Get Starte

I get a LOT of questions about how to recover from a relationship with a narcissist. So this topic is one I’ve wanted to address for quite a while. I’m so pleased to welcome psychologist Dr. Annie Kaszina to the program to share not only her professional expertise, but also her personal journey of marrying and then divorcing a narcissist. Dr. Kaszina delves into:· How strong, independent, accomplished women fall in love with and stay with narcs.· The red flags narcissists wave—despite their best efforts to dupe you!· Dr. Annie’s suggestion for discovering if the person you’re dating has narcissistic tendencies.· Why pacing yourself in the early days of a relationship is imperative!· The power of self-knowledge as it relates to narcs.· How to take back control after being with a narcissist.· Co-parenting when your ex is a narcissist.· The identity some women take on when they’ve been with a narc.In this episode, as in her book, Do You Choose Your Dog Mor

Wouldn’t it be great if science could give us the straight facts on dating? Well actually, it does! When on the dating scene herself, psychologist Dr. Duana Welch, looked to psych research for guidance. She shares all she learned in her blog, Love Science, and in her Love Factually book series. Join us as we discuss:· Why men get so excited early in a relationship, but often lose interest just as quickly.· The different ways men and women experience situationships.· How sex causes you to bond—even when it’s just friends with benefits.· How to figure out if you’re too picky!· A powerful strategy if you’ve lost hope in love.· Why women love a man with a plan (and what this means for us when dating!)· What happens when men lose interest—spoiler alert, even they don’t know why!· How to present yourself as a “high status” woman—and why this is imperative when dating (also, it’s NOT about being arrogant or snooty!)· The different “mating psychology” of

We all want a great marriage, but how do we cultivate and maintain an extraordinary connection in the midst of life’s stressors and challenges? For over 30 years, Dr. Terri Orbuch has researched the habits and practices of happy couples (and unhappy ones) in her landmark National Institutes of Health (NIH) study. She joins me to discuss her book, 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great, in which she shares simple, practical strategies from her longitudinal study including:- How to maintain realistic expectations without settling.- The no. 1 problem in marriages.- How happy couples communicate vs. unhappy couples.- The need men have which, when met, predicts they’ll be happy and content in their marriage—and no, we’re not talking about sex!- What factors make for the strongest marriages.- How to “trick your brain” to reignite the spark in your marriage.- The no. 1 topic daters should not discuss on dates!I put it this way on Instagram, “Marriage is great, but only if it’s a great marriage!” Jo

We’re kicking off Season 4 with a sneak peek into the audio version of my book, Single is the New Black: Don’t Wear White ‘til it’s Right, which launches in just a few weeks! You’re the first to hear it! I also discuss my inspiration for writing the book i.e. the incessant single shaming comments I received, irrational explanations for my single status, and my frustration with the standard dating/relationship self-help messages. I conclude the episode with a Love Smarter, Not Harder Q&A: In the beginning of a relationship, when we’re just getting to know each other, is it rigid and unreasonable to expect a guy to call when he says he will?

In this week’s episode, I’m super excited to share a BIG Love & Life announcement! Join me to be the first to hear the news! I also answer two listeners’ questions. “Ella” asks, “My boyfriend is from Venezuela and lives here under political asylum. We definitely experience some challenges due to our different cultural backgrounds. Also, he wants children and I don’t. I care for him deeply, but I’m not sure if I’m ‘in love.’” Given these realities, “Ella” wonders if their relationship can go the distance. The second question involves a man “Ginny” met on Plenty of Fish. After texting and calling for a while, he mentioned he’s been out of work due to Covid and asked her if she might be able to support him a bit. He’s from Norway so he doesn’t have family here to help him. She’s worried he might be out to take advantage of her—if he’s really who he says he is in the first place!

Growing up I used to ask my mom, “How will I know when I’ve met the right guy?” She replied with the answer so many of us heard, “You’ll just know.” But HOW do we “just know”? Will our hearts lead us in the right direction? What if our heart says, “Yes” but our head says, “No!” And, considering I almost married the wrong person (I called off my first engagement 2 months before the wedding #runawaybride), I apparently didn’t “just know.” That being said, I now have a unique vantage point—having been engaged to the wrong person and then engaged to the right one! To further explore this question, Dan joins me to discuss how we knew we were right for each other. We also examine psychologist Dr. Robert Sternberg’s Triangle Theory of Love which provides the most comprehensive model of what Sternberg calls “Consummate Love” and what others call “the total package.” We wrap up the program answering a listener’s question about being ghosted by her boyfriend. Should she reach out? They’d had “the talk” about

We’re all navigating uncharted waters—trying to stay physically safe and emotionally sound in the midst of a global pandemic. Psychotherapist Kate Lambie, LCPC, joins me to unpack six simple strategies for managing our mindset and maintaining our psychological wellbeing during Covid-19. We discuss 6 “Gs” (grounded in psych research and psychotherapeutic techniques) we can implement today to think and feel better NOW despite the uncertainty of these unprecedented circumstances! At the end of the program, I answer a listener’s question about dating standards—should they remain the same during this Coronavirus pandemic?

Most characteristics of depression—sadness, feelings of worthlessness, anhedonia—though undesirable, are fairly straightforward. But according to clinical psychologist, Dr. Margaret Robinson Rutherford, sometimes depression hides. In her book, Perfectly Hidden Depression: How to Break Free from the Perfectionism that Masks Your Depression, Dr. Rutherford describes the underlying depression beneath many people’s perfectionism. According to Dr. Rutherford, deep-seated depressive symptoms such as shame and worthlessness often fuel and sustain the drive for perfection. Those with Perfectly Hidden Depression (PHD) feel many things—pressure, worry, self-reproach—but they don’t feel depressed. PHD isn’t obvious—to them or anyone around them—which is why it’s perfectly hidden. Join us to better understand Perfectly Hidden Depression, bring it to light, and find healing.