Dr Karin Love & Life

We’ve often spoken to Attachment Styles on the podcast, but in today’s episode we’ll hear a firsthand account from British author and coach, Katherine Baldwin. Katherine married in midlife and as she’s reflected on her dating history, she recognizes her attachment style—a mix of avoidant and anxious—caused her to repeatedly sabotage relationships and walk away from them. But most importantly, in this two part series, Katherine shares how she found healing AND found her person—despite wrestling with unhealthy attachment dynamics from childhood wounds. Learn from Katherine’s vulnerable account of her many years on the dating scene. She was certainly impacted by her attachment style, but she ultimately moved through the anxiety and toward love! Katherine Baldwin Website: https://www.katherinebaldwin.com/ Dr. Karin Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin Single is the New Black: Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible iTunes: sma

It’s National Unmarried and Single Americans Week, and to kick things off, we’re bringing back Love & Life fan favorite, Dr. Duana Welch, to talk about the revised version of her classic book, Love Factually:  10 Proven Steps from I Wish to I Do. From the very first time I read Love Factually, it became my go-to “how to date smarter, not harder” resource, because every recommendation Dr. Welch provides is grounded in psych research. Other authors share their opinions. Dr. Welch shares the data! In this episode, Dr. Welch gets personal and recounts how she recently followed her own advice and met her fiancé online in a matter of weeks! She lets us in on the key elements of her coaching practice and discusses how she’s helped hundreds of clients find their person. Join us to learn how to date smarter with science! And, be sure to take advantage of Dr. Welch’s offer for a FREE 15 minute mini session to determine if you’d like to work with her. Dr. Duana Welch Website: http://lovefactually.co/ Dr. Kari

Breakups are hardest when the relationship is almost right. I should know—I almost married the “wrong man” (for me) because there was absolutely nothing “wrong” with him.  He was almost right.  But, is “good enough” good enough for marriage? For me, it wasn’t.  I told my runaway bride story with Ané Auret and because I’d never shared the whole story with you, I wanted to post it on Love & Life.  We’ve all faced crossroads where we had to trust our gut or take the “safe” path. I took the risk of being along forever. But when faced with “good enough” vs. living solo, my gut told me what to do. And, after years of ignoring my intuition, I finally listened.  I had to let go of safe, in order to find epic.  Ané Auret Website:  https://aneauret.com/  Beauty Products: https://beautybyane.com/ Dr. Karin Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin Single is the New Black: Audiobook Audible: smarturl.

As most of you know, I wrote my book because I found so many self-help books for singles to be utterly UNhelpful! That being said, over the years, I did come across—thankfully!—several supportive and empowering books. In a few weeks we’ll be celebrating National Unmarried & Single Americans week so I thought we’d kick off September with a review of some of my fav books for living single. They got me through the tough times and to this day, I recommend them to anyone who asks for advice about dating, dealing with single shaming, or recovering from a breakup. I hope these books will be as helpful to you as they were to me! Dr. Karin Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin Single is the New Black: Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes

For the last year, people have been asking me, “Have you watched Dopesick? Karin, you have to see it!” So, I subscribed to Hulu and started the series and also read the book on which the series is based. The true story is incredibly disturbing and tragic and heartbreaking. Author Beth Macy exposes how Purdue Pharma, the makers of Oxycontin, convinced doctors their patients had virtually no chance of becoming addicted to their new “wonder drug.” But, it wasn’t true. I knew some parts of this horrific story from reading Dreamland: The True Tale of America’s Opioid Epidemic and interviewing Dreamland’s author, Sam Quinones in episode 95 of the podcast. He connects the dots between prescription medications and heroin addiction. In Dopesick, we witness this play out in graphic detail. Most of you know, I’m no fan of Big Pharma. Of course, I’m thankful for medical advances which have saved millions of lives. But, as we’ve talked about in prior episodes, pharmaceutical corporations exist to make profits for their sh

It’s our 200th episode—time to reflect on where we’ve been and where we’re headed! My first thought is how grateful I am for the opportunity to share with you and our community. Your comments, emails, and dms mean everything to me. They let me know you resonate with Love & Life’s mission:  “Conversations grounded in psych research to help us thrive in love and life.” On Love & Life, we’re all about the research–which is why we’re so dismayed by the degeneration of science we’ve recently witnessed. In this episode, we discuss 3 cases of faulty science which have just come to light, starting with an umbrella study by Joanna Moncrieff and colleagues which finds no connection between depression and serotonin levels. Although many psychiatrists have doubted the “chemical imbalance” explanation of depression for years, pharmaceutical companies continue to promulgate this unsubstantiated theory because it has, obviously, greatly boosted sales of antidepressants. We examine two other instances of manipul

As many of you know, my book, Single is the New Black:  Don’t Wear White ‘til it’s Right, resulted from my experiences as a single woman who read all the other books for single women and found them, in my estimation, to be lacking. I resisted other books’ theses—that something must be inherently wrong with me and that’s why I was still single. Also, so many self-help books for single women morph into dating “how to’s.” Which, I was never a really big fan of dating do’s and don’ts because I believe we need to date as our authentic selves. Sure, we can—and should—present the very BEST version of our authentic selves. We absolutely want to date with confidence, emotional maturity, kindness, and mutual respect—for those we date and for ourselves. So, I wrote my own book about how to stay true to ourselves while dating, and how to manage the single shaming comments you likely hear from time to time. It’s a word of encouragement and empowerment and a reminder that you’re strong and courageous because–it’s easy

A little while ago, I received an email: “Hey there! My name is Jenny Mallard and I’m a Canadian singer-songwriter and also a huge fan of your podcast. I actually just released my debut single, partially inspired by the themes of some of your podcast episodes and your book. Basically, I’ve always wanted a man to write me a love song. Then one day, I realized, I’m a singer songwriter. I’ll just write one for myself. It’s called, “I Do: The Self Love Song.” This is a shot in the dark, however, I’m just a huge fan and I’d be honored for you to take a listen. Thanks!” As you can imagine, I was so touched to receive this email. So, I immediately replied telling Jenny how honored I was to know she felt inspired by my work. I knew the Love & Life family would resonate with Jenny’s journey, so I invited Jenny to share the themes of her song with all of us. Join us as Jenny discusses how clarifying her values brought her life into focus. She left a 3 year relationship, got serious about her music career, and wrote

In preparing for part 2 of our series called Empowered Evolving, I reflected on my own life—when have I evolved? How have I grown and changed—even when in doing so, I lost relationships and connection and security? Of course, calling off my wedding came to mind… When you break an engagement, you’ve evolved in a way that’s unexpected—unexpected to your fiancé, obviously, and also to your friends, your family, and even, yourself. And it’s hard. Very, very hard. Then again, we become stronger and empowered as we evolve in the direction we’re supposed to move—when we step toward authenticity, toward truth, toward hope, toward joy. And, step away from FEAR. As I thought about Empowered Evolving, my friend Kiley Schmitz kept coming to mind. Kiley also broke off an engagement. She’s in her 30s. Her life looks nothing like she once envisioned it. And, she couldn’t be happier. Join us to discuss empowered evolving as it pertains to dating, engagement, marriage, and relationships in general. Dr. Karin Website: http://

“Might as well face it, you’re addicted to love.”—Robert Palmer  Are you addicted to relationships? Many of us—even strong, independent women—feel unsettled, lonely, and anxious when we don’t have a partner.  Life coach Nazra Peterson believes single shaming is to blame—and often, we’re single shaming ourselves!  In our conversation, we dive deep into the following topics:  The 4 key relationships you have with YOURSELF!  How to desire partnership without appearing desperate.  How to determine if your beliefs about relationships are yours or if you’ve internalized them from others—and how to change them if they’re limiting.  The power in being blissfully dissatisfied.  Relationship addiction as evidenced by how we break up with someone—staying long past the expiration date.  Loyalty vs. commitment.  Freedom in intimacy i.e. When you’re in a relationship you CAN do whatever you want to do!  When your friends might be leading you astray when it

In this week’s mini episode, I’d like to share a few thoughts about the Empowered Evolving series we kicked off last week. I knew my conversation with Isabella would generate some feedback and I’ve received both positive and negative responses to it.  How do we remain connected with those we love, even when—or especially when!—we disagree. We want to live empowered, we want to grow and evolve, and we want to maintain intimate relationships with those we love.  Is this even possible?  I share the strategy I’m currently using myself in efforts to do all of the above. Dr. Karin Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin Single is the New Black: Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes

Welcome to Love & Life’s occasional series—Empowered Evolving. We talk about empowered living all the time on Love & Life. We look to psych research and techniques from psychotherapy to help us, as former Love & Life guest, Dr. Steven C. Hayes founder of ACT puts it, “take committed action in the service of our chosen values.” We live empowered by living out our values—clarifying what they are and then taking committed action toward them.  Sometimes, as we clarify our values, we realize we’re moving away from where we’ve been. We’re stepping into uncharted territory. We’re leaving comfort and certainty behind.  But, if we’re committed to maintaining an open mind and considering various viewpoints, it’s not surprising that sometimes, we change our mind.  We’re evolving.  Empowered evolving entails honesty and commitment—a commitment to our principles. And, it takes courage; it takes a lot of courage to speak out when your community expects you to adhere to its belief system.&nbs

We all desire deep connection. We’re wired for intimacy. But searching for it is difficult and even when we find our person and we’re caught up in the excitement of falling in love, our journey to intimacy has really only just begun. Throughout partnership and marriage, our connection ebbs and flows. Sometimes we feel extremely close; at other times, we feel estranged and distant from the person with whom we want to feel most intimately connected. How do we restore deep, authentic intimacy? Dr. Steve Call and his wife, Lisa Call, address this question in their book, Reconnect:  Insights and Tools for Cultivating Meaningful Connection in Your Marriage. In today’s episode we discuss the following and more! Needing connection and the shame that often accompanies this need. Shame in relationships—judging ourselves and our partner. How discussing need, shame, and judgment minimizes their power and their negative impact on our connections. The healing power of relationships, connection, and community.

One of the questions I’m most often asked surrounds masculine and feminine energy. How can independent, empowered women embody feminine energy? Isn’t this essentially a contradiction in terms?  Are we able to inhabit the fullness of ourselves—including our ambition and drive—without presenting ourselves in a masculine manner and thereby attracting men who lead with feminine energy? Teacher, writer, speaker, and the creator of Everyday Starlet, Sarah Blodgett, joins us to consider these questions and more. Specifically, we speak to: The difference between masculine/feminine energy and traditional gender roles. The difficulty in trusting our partner’s protective masculine energy—especially if we’ve been in a controlling, abusive relationship in the past. When to resonate in your juicy feminine flow—and when we may NOT want to be in our feminine flow! Birth control pills and feminine energy. Body image and feminine energy. How our distrust of men may actually reflect a distrust of ourselves. Wh

Christine Coen was a registered dietitian and fitness professional. She guided and encouraged clients toward their nutrition and exercise goals. She didn’t think too much about mental health—until she had to. When Christine fell into depression, she panicked. It was her job to motivate others, but she was struggling to even get out of bed in the morning herself! She started researching and soul searching. Christine realized she’d been focused on the exterior. It was time to look inward. She began pursuing eating and exercise with a new mission—it was no longer about the external. Now, it was about the internal. Through her own battle, Christine discovered natural methods to overcome anxiety, depression, and emotional eating. She joins us today to share these strategies with us! Citation: https://www.apa.org/monitor/2017/11/numbers https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/astounding-increase-in-antidepressant-use-by-americans-201110203624 https://www.drugwatch.com/ssri/prozac/ Breggin, P., & Breggin, G., (2021

When I come across an empowered woman who’s all about empowering others, I want to share her journey with you—which is exactly why I invited Brooke Mullen of Sapahn to the program. Recently, I randomly came across Sapahn when I noticed this gorgeous purse/backpack in the March issue of Harper’s Bazaar. The bag reminded me of one I’d admired several years ago in a boutique in Indianapolis. Apparently, I couldn’t get the bag out of my head even all these years later!

Psychologist Dr. Duana Welch recently joined me for an Instagram Live to talk about the revised version of her must-read dating guide, Love Factually:  10 Proven Steps from I Wish to I Do. She tackled viewers questions and concerns, including: Why behaving as a high status woman is the opposite of playing games or acting coy. The science-based approach to actually getting courted—even if no man has ever treated you in that way before. How to weed out the men who aren’t looking for a serious relationship. How to communicate your standards in a very practical and respectful manner. How to write a profile which will attract a serious minded man. Why communicating your standards will protect you from narcissists and players when you’re online dating. How to open up to dating again after multiple heartbreaks. The 3 feelings you’ll feel if you’re in a healthy relationship! How to be vulnerable in an appropriate manner. How Dr. Welch met her partner online in a matter of months—and even found

Recently, I appeared on aParently Speaking podcast with Miriam conner. Miriam asked me to speak about fear—specifically, how parents may inadvertently pass on anxiety to their children. We discussed humans’ typical responses to fear—building upon the Fight or Flight model we all learned in school, and we explored the profound power of how we frame fear i.e. do we consider it part of our identity? Do we say things to ourselves like, “My anxiety makes me do such and such” or “I have anxiety”? Or rather, do we see fear as a part of life, but not a part of our core sense of self. We can empower ourselves by considering the ways we manage our feelings and ask ourselves questions like: Did I learn this emotional response from my mother? Did I get “my anxiety” from my father? As an adult can I shed any generational patterns of managing fear that aren't serving me? We may have inherited anxiety from our families, but we don’t need to own it in adulthood! Dr. Karin Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowere

You’re probably familiar with mindfulness, but how does it apply to dating? Marie Thouin, Ph.D. shares how a mindfulness practice can enhance our lives in myriad realms—and certainly when it comes to dating! Join us for a conversation surrounding: The science of mindfulness—there’s a TON of research on it! The self-knowledge mindfulness affords—even in the midst of heartbreak and loss. Why mindful dating brings out the best in you and your date! How mindfulness helps us move through rejection—including 3 tangible steps to become more resilient! The importance of being curious and compassionate with ourselves. Mindful swiping—it’s a thing! How to value our lives when our deep desires aren’t currently met. How mindfulness liberates us! If you’ve ever wondered what this mindfulness stuff is all about and how it might enhance your love life, this episode is for you! Citation: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/topic/mindfulness/definition#why-practice-mindfulness  Dr. Marie Thouin  Websit

We all desire deep, genuine intimacy. But so often, it feels incredibly difficult to cultivate! Sometimes we’re so infatuated we rush things. Other times, we fear getting close because we’ve been hurt so many times before. In our first Love & Life Live, psychotherapist Elliott Anderson joins me to speak to Judson University students about how to develop and cultivate deep, authentic, lasting romantic intimacy. Specifically, we discuss: What’s the definition of intimacy? How can we distinguish between intimacy and infatuation? Is there a concrete process for building intimacy? What do psychologists say about finding the “total package”? Is it possible? How clarifying your values—before you’re in a relationship—will help you build intimacy with your future partner. Can texting build true intimacy? What if I don’t have much relationship experience? Why spending time apart in the initial months of a relationship can actually enhance intimacy. Cultivating true intimacy—even if you have an anxi