Again With This: Beverly Hills, 90210

It's time for the social event of the year: the Coastal Advertising Conference! And Billy has been preparing by going being Amanda's back to her boss, Arthur Field ("...Who?" exactly) and lobbying him to let Billy make the keynote speech even though Amanda has done it for the past several years. Amanda decides to spite both Arthur AND Billy by giving the assignment to Alison...and from there things get weirdly complicated and a perfectly nice old lady who used to be on Batman gets hurt in the process. Jane and Jake's relationship is also hitting some snags: Clare still wants to bone Jake even though she's now working for Jane, and though Jo tries as hard as she can not to tell Jake about Jane's tiki torching, she eventually cracks. Rita, a sexy and dangerous biker, joins the party in Kimberly's head, and Peter is not discerning enough to recognize her after two conversations, perhaps because he is not a mental health professional. And as Sydney keeps getting closer to Bobby, he finds her goofy charms harder a

Now that Alycia has succeeded in pushing Bobby out of the company, Peter (whose injuries from that four-foot fall over the railing in the previous episode were not serious) is ready to part ways with Alycia: there's nothing left to scheme about and they don't really like each other. But she isn't ready to let him go, and informs him that buying his way out of both the cable company and their sham relationship will cost him $2 million. Maybe the vodka creep, whom Billy's still sniffing around, is interested in investing in this sector? Meanwhile, Peter spitefully presses assault charges against Bobby, and it falls to Sydney to bail him out and continue hanging around him despite his clear requests that she knock it off. Jake finally finds out about Jane's part in Richard's fashion show disaster and gets drunk and vengeful about it with a random woman he meets at a fashion-industry event...or is she? Kimberly continues to lose time to an increasingly angry Betsy; when Kimberly confides in Peter (still not a psy

It's not only that Billy continues to be the absolute worst -- which he absolutely does. It's that Amanda keeps coming right up to the edge of shutting him down and then doesn't, because even though he's a pig, he's a pig who's bringing work to the agency. This time, his risky gambit is to take a vodka client he and Alison are pitching to get a true "American" experience at a strip club with mud wrestling, and then try to close the client by letting the guy mud-wrestle Alison. And when he steps to Amanda's own marquee client? ...Well, maybe we can forgive her for not reprimanding him since she's got other things on her mind, which we'll get to. The plans for Alan and Val's wedding cause tension between Alan and Matt, which only rises when Alan's doting parents show up, so relieved that the boy they'd been worrying about is not actually Funny or That Way that they're throwing themselves into the wedding festivities with near-evangelical fervor. Matt's attempt to seek comfort from David, apparently his only fri

This plot to bring down Bobby's cable company is turning out to be a real drag for everyone behind it! First Alycia has an attack of conscience about making Bobby look like a mobster when what he wanted most was to go legit. Then Peter hears from Amanda that she's on the company's board of directors, so if Bobby goes down, he might drag her down with him. Will Peter be able to get this scandal train off the tracks before it crushes his beloved?! After Alison sleeps with Billy and THEN tells him she's finished with him as a boyfriend prospect, Billy has nothing but time to launch his own schemes at D&D: he tricks Amanda into agreeing to a gigantic raise if he can successfully pitch an airline client, then bones an employee from a rival agency to find out what they're going to be presenting. And would you believe there's even MORE workplace sabotage on the docket this week? After Jane abandons her own collection, having seen all her inspiration purloined by Richard, she takes advantage of Jo's extremely ext

You know how when you have one ex-wife working for you and then pick back up with the ex-wife you actually haven't divorced yet and this one lets you know she wants you to fire the other one? Well, Michael does! After Kimberly uses her wiles to convince Michael to let Sydney go, Sydney fires back with sexual harassment lawsuits Peter and Michael are kind of forced to take seriously. At the same time, Peter is firming up his relationship with Alycia and getting her further onto his side and against Bobby by telling her the real (or is it) story of his grudge against the Parezis. With Jane and Richard still bitterly fighting as they each prepare for interviews on a fashion TV show, Jo sort of tries to stay above the fray by bringing Jane some of her work from the office...and then accidentally leaves with more than she came with. Billy has apparently exorcised Brooke's spirit, but his bad attitude toward her is still present, and now he's just directing his excessively confident dickishness at his boss, his clo

As we probably all assumed after the last episode, Brooke is not coming back from her fall into the pool. Billy does his best not to let his estranged wife's sudden passing affect his life at all -- with a funeral to plan two days after her death, why wouldn't he still go to work and continue trying to get Alison to sleep with him? -- but it's not up to him: Brooke's restless ghost simply will not leave him alone. Michael, having determined that Kimberly is the right woman for him, won't take any of her many "no"s for an answer, and keeps pressing for them to resume a real relationship and not just keep having sex. Meanwhile, one of Michael's other ex-wives, Jane, turns up the heat with Jake while also soliciting Alison's advice on a pitch to a buyer. Jane then gets so smug about her success that Richard feels obliged to interfere with her deal. Matt is anxious about Alan's new love interest Val (Jeri Ryan!), particularly since Alan's producer has told Matt in so many words to quit being so gay around Alan in

While Sarah takes one more week away, we are thrilled that Heather Cocks and Jessica Morgan of GoFugYourself.com can join us once again.... As Brooke's life rapidly unravels, no one cares except her mortal enemy Alison, who encourages Billy to help Brooke out financially (he does; she refuses) before finding Brooke living in her car and ordering her to come live with Alison instead. Brooke repays this kindness exactly the way you'd expect: by acting entitled to it and taking advantage of her restored proximity to mess with Billy. Peter is now scheming against Bobby on two fronts: in addition to trying to mooch information out of Alycia by dating her, he also hires Sydney for a side gig in sexspionage. Michael and Kimberly find themselves drawn back together by an extremely unlikely plot device. Jane complicates her relationship with Jo by setting up her new design studio in Jake's garage (???), depriving Jo of a parking space for her car. And Matt continues bristling at the restrictions that come with dating

Sarah is out this week spending time with family, so we welcome Heather Cocks and Jessica Morgan -- authors, fashion bloggers, and longtime Melrose Place fans -- as our guest co-hosts.... It's pretty wild how Sydney's choice to abandon a partially paralyzed woman on the beach and leave her at the mercy of the tides has really sent everyone in their orbit into a tizz! Sydney herself is worried that people think she purposely tried to kill Jane and desperately doing damage control. Michael, still not convinced by any of Sydney's stories, contrives a scheme to force Kimberly to tell him the truth about the incident. And Jake is just as attracted to the partially incapacitated Jane as Michael was. But fortunately, Jane is determined never to be as helpless as she was on that beach: she doubles her PT sessions, and even pitches in at the studio to help Richard and his designs land a deal with a distributor! Now that she's on top of the world, what's left for Jane but to start making terrible decisions?! Bobby's fa

Jane's ongoing paralysis storyline basically embroils everyone this week, so let's run down the list. Peter, because Michael has made good on his threat to move out of the beach house as long as both Andrews sisters are there, and is now Odd Coupling it up at Peter's place. Bobby and Amanda, because their story branches off from Peter's. Matt, because Jo has brought him the pills she found in Richard's office to identify. Jake, because suddenly he likes Jane again. And Kimberly, because she was basically the mastermind behind the whole thing, wittingly or not. Folks: it's a lot. But that's not all: we also have the toxic triangle of Brooke, Billy, and Alison. Because of her lingering sense of responsibility toward Brooke due to having technically been her stepmother for five minutes, Alison is letting Brooke walk all over her at work. When Brooke misinterprets a moment between Billy and Alison in the D&D bullpen, things escalate. We hope you are bewitched by our podcast on "Sydney, Bothered & Bewilder

In the aftermath of Brooke's suicide attempt, a guilt-ridden Billy does everything he can think of to fulfill what he thinks are her wishes: he tells her he loves her; he gets rid of Alison; he demands that Amanda give Brooke her job back; he even cleans the bathroom floor! So if Brooke assumes they're fully back on track and that she can resume using him to try to make that baby she needs, who can really blame her? Peter confronts Bobby and Amanda about their New Year's kiss, though the result is probably not what he was hoping. After overhearing Jane, Jo, and Alison discussing who might have drugged Jane, Sydney follows Kimberly's advice to cast suspicion on the OTHER most likely culprit, Richard, by planting her pills in his office. And when Kimberly's not trying to smooth out this situation, she's creating static between Matt and Alan by spilling all the gossip about Matt and Paul. And while Jake thinks he's totally on top of his whole usury deal, Monty the loan shark lets him know that, no, actually, he'

It's about to be New Year's Eve, but not everyone's in a celebratory mood -- like Peter, who's getting sued for malpractice by some patient we don't know. Bobby invites Amanda and Peter to his house in Palm Springs, and though it seems like it'll be awkward with just the three of them there, Amanda rooks Alison into going, too. It's not like Alison has much going on back home: she starts out icing Billy out, some more. But then after Hayley's lawyer Norman tells Brooke that she won't inherit anything unless she has a baby, Brooke has to do some fancy footwork: first, tell Billy (outside the hospital) that she just found out she lost the baby; then tell him she wants to get pregnant again RIGHT AWAY. Billy thinks this plan is kind of creepy, though at least agreeing that Brooke is acting very weird rekindles Billy and Alison's friendship. Then Billy happens to run into Brooke's OB/GYN at the hospital and...well, things don't go well for Brooke from there. It turns out that the medical issue Jane suffered after

Just in time for Jane to decide she should try to mend fences with her antagonists at work, Jo goes soft and asks Richard not to go through with his plans to push her out of the business -- at least not so close to Christmas! Richard agrees, but doesn't consider whether he should put the damning paperwork into a drawer or cabinet that locks. Kimberly continues treating Sydney, giving her actually good advice on how to turn herself into the perfect doctor's wife for Michael; she also prescribes tranquilizers to help Sydney sleep, without talking her through the potential dangers of taking them. Having failed to find anything incriminating on Bobby, the FBI agents on his case try getting at him by intimidating Amanda, only to galvanize her against them and possibly all figures of authority. A trip to the doctor ends in bad news about Brooke's pregnancy, which she can't bring herself to tell Billy. Also present: Matt, Alan, and evidence that Jake is actually putting his loan shark loan to use on business expense

Look, at this point is it even worth trying to figure out what's going on with Kimberly's whole legal situation? Apparently the administration at Wilshire Memorial has given up, because they've agreed to let her work there again -- as a psychiatric intern, but still. The hospital turns out to be the nexus of a lot of new drama: Bobby makes a gigantic anonymous gift, crediting Peter as the rainmaker; and Sydney keeps hanging around trying to determine whether Michael is cheating on her with Jane. Meanwhile, Jane is oblivious about Richard's plans to cut her out of the business, though he might be wavering on those given the sexy dreams he's been having about her lately. All the Armstrongs (plus Billy) return to Los Angeles to bury Hayley, whereupon Brooke finds out about his financial troubles -- and the SEC investigation he's apparently left all his employees to deal with following his death. The reading of his will changes everyone's immediate plans and launches Alison into a tailspin about how he actually f

Once Amanda recovers from the shock of (a) seeing Bobby after seven years and (b) seeing the gun in his waistband, she agrees to let him explain himself: he still truly loves her, does not intend to kill her, and would never hurt her in any way. She's ready to say goodbye and part on friendly-ish terms...or so she says, but the single tear that falls down her cheek after her flashback to a night on the beach in Miami when he promised to get her out of marrying Jack tells the tale. Meanwhile, Peter is still trying to solidify his relationship with Amanda and isn't thrilled that she's spending any time with any other man, never mind one who's Mob-adjacent. Out in international waters, Hayley finally explains why they had to take their whirlwind second honeymoon under cover of night: he's trying to stay ahead of the SEC, and apparently thinks throwing all his incriminating papers in the ocean will solve all his problems because it's 1995 and no one has ever heard of "copies." He doesn't assume Alison will want t

Between her great new radio gig and the removal of her wrist monitor, Kimberly is really feeling herself. And it turns out she'd like men to feel her too -- as many as she can get! She's so busy scoring that she maaaaaay not devote enough concern to Vic, who keeps calling the show to tell her how bad he thinks her advice is. However, she DOES take a break from her sexcapades to warn Sydney that receiving a gift of flowers from Michael means that he's cheating on her. He's not, exactly -- he's just lying and sneaking around with Jane, who's just using him to make Richard jealous. At least, that's the state of play...for now. Jake has been stewing over Matt's suspicions about Shelly's shadiness regarding the books, but when he confronts her, she shrugs off his worries and volunteers the password she thought she already gave him, no big deal! But Matt's not willing to drop the matter. While Bobby commences his project of following Amanda around Los Angeles looking for a chance to murder her, Amanda tries to stay

Remember when the Jo/Jane/Richard/Jake/Shelly situation was merely a love pentagon? WELL. Jane tries a power play on Jo upon her return, with Richard, to the studio after their Hawaii sojourn, leaving all of Jo's photography gear in the lobby and informing her that she's fired. Richard then informs Jane that in a 50/50 partnership, she can't unilaterally fire anyone. After seeing Jo and Richard looking happy at the surprise birthday party Sydney has thrown for Michael, Jane hatches a new plan for getting Richard back on the hook: she'll make him jealous by dating a professional guy! Maybe someone who's already been in love with her once! Little does she know that Michael and Sydney are back to liking each other for real...not that Jane would probably care. And Matt starts working at Shooters just in time for Jake to need help logging into Shelly's accounting system and show him how her setup is not as transparent as one might hope. Alison and Hayley hit up a Cancun resort he owns, and which is apparently in s

After Jack kicks off in the cold open, everyone who knew anything about the circumstances surrounding his death braces for possible consequences. Michael thinks he can delay the autopsy results from getting to Nick, Jack's lawyer. Peter ignores whatever Kimberly's up to so that he can support Amanda. But she's mostly just happy the only person she ever feared has died...until Sydney gathers both her bosses and Amanda for a sushi dinner, to tell them she has an incriminating tape of Amanda and Peter that she'll pass on to the authorities if Amanda doesn't give her half her share of Jack's estate. Brooke is too sick to accompany Billy on a business trip to Santa Barbara, so Alison arranges to take her place so that she can get some face time with Billy and decide whether she really does still love him, or if she's ready to move on and accept Hayley's weird afterthought of a wedding proposal. And due to a hiccup with their travel plans, they end up getting more time together than she'd hoped! Having broken up wi

Inconveniently, Jack continues to live. Amanda is still keeping vigil at his bedside while also strategizing with Peter on how to get them both out of this, but when she tries to self-medicate with Halloween party shots, Peter intervenes...and then gets everything he wanted, if not quite the way he wanted it. At the same time, Sydney has determined that Peter and Amanda are doing something shady, and is disappointed when Michael tells her she can't use the blackmail material she acquired by secretly taping Peter and Amanda in Peter's office, over the phone. But perhaps Sydney has finally figured out she doesn't always have to listen to Michael? Jane decides she and Richard should go to Hawaii for an "inspiration shoot," to collect ideas for their next line. She starts to cool on the idea when he suggests that Jo come with them, rather than finding a local photographer, convinced Richard is just trying to maneuver himself into a romantic situation with Jo. She's right, and her calling him out does not remotely

We pick back up where we left off with the last episode: Amanda and Jack, tussling at his house. In the process, Jack ends up flying off a third-story balcony onto the hard floor of the foyer, and since Amanda doesn't think she can call the authorities, she enlists Peter to help her deal with the situation. His scheme to get Jack admitted to the hospital with a minimum of questions from other personnel seems to work, until Michael sees Peter and Amanda leaving Jack's room together and inserts himself. At the same time, Fake Henry keeps pestering Kimberly, while Kimberly keeps pestering Dr. Joyce Brothers on her apparently 24-hour-a-day radio show. Jake can't stop being jealous of the time Jo is spending with Richard, nor Jo of Shelly still hanging around. Hayley and Alison make their relationship official by telling Brooke and Billy they're in love -- but there's yet another level to which Hayley wants to take it. Finally (...in every sense of the word), Matt and his mother bury his dad, leaving them both to

Psychological torture is the order of the day: Brooke harasses Amanda by taking on Jack's new cable company as her latest client, and Jack lets Amanda know that if she tries to take too hard a line against him, he will retaliate by coming after her friends. Meanwhile, Peter tries to walk Kimberly through a therapeutic process that involves apologizing directly to all her bombing victims -- at a party celebrating the fact that she didn't succeed in killing them, no less -- and returning to the laundry room where she planted her explosives. Maybe this would work if it didn't coincide with Michael and Sydney's new project: deploying an actor who kind of looks like Henry to show up and talk to Kimberly the way the "real" Henry used to do. The Hart & Mancini crew, and Jake and Shelly, are now fully snarled up together in a romantic rat king: Jane has written off Jo for snitching on her to Richard while also trying to talk Richard into taking her back; and when Jo misses a loosely defined date with Jake because