Your Kickstarter Sucks

Well here we are in 2025 and of course the number one problem everyone is having right now is that cereal gets too wet or warm or something like that. Yep it’s pretty much driving everyone mad and a lot of scientists have “jumped out of windows” about it, but it seems like this problem won’t be fixed anytime soon. And that really stinks because if that problem got fixed there would be some good stuff happening after that. Alas!We’ll just have to make do with a brand new way to make money on social media, a freakin wristband that gives you super powers in your smart home, and a computer that can flush your bird’s toilet for you. Perhaps some day we will solve our problem of cereal having to be eaten within like 5-10 minutes of pouring it into a bowl…or all die trying.Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Social Media by Maddalena Alvarez.Executive Producer Tim Faust (@crulge)YKS Premium – The h

Hey where’s that damn dog of mine? He better not be…oh no…oh NO!!! Well, anyway. Update on our various locations: the YKS boys are off to CES, and you all are here at home, listening to the show. Or you’re at your work, I guess. Whatever THAT is. Presumably some kind of sexy doctor like they have on TV. So we had better make this a good one to get you through that long slog of sexy surgery. Ah man! Don’t drop some hot sweat into that open cavity! On today’s program, we can finally share our dreams with you, and the dreams are, guess what. Bad. Plus we are getting down to brass tax with some good old fashioned common American sense, which is a scam of some kind, and a TV channel which is not a scam at all probably but man it sure is a bummer. Unfortunately we do end the episode on that one which is poor planning on my part, but in my defense, that is ok for me to do because I don’t like to feel bad about my actions. Anyway have fun at work doc. We will be trying out fancy new dildos in the desert. Mu

Well it’s almost time to gather round Ol’ Tannenbaum and sip some classic nog! But first, if you’ll indulge, let us celebrate a different kind of gift-giving: that of content creators to their adoring audiences! And what a merry gift it is. On today’s show, you know what, I just realized we could have done all Christmas-related projects for this one. Well, we didn’t. There’s probably not even that many Christmas-related Kickstarters, anyway. Granted, I didn’t look. You coulda looked if you wanted it so bad! Why is it my job every year to bring merriment! This is supposed to be for everyone. You know what, fuck it. Christmas is over. I’ll be in the garage.Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Social Media by Maddalena Alvarez.Executive Producer Tim Faust (@crulge)Didn’t get any good shit for Xmas? Well, treat yourself! YKS Premium has so many hours of extra YKS content, it probably wouldn’

Now this is interesting. It says here…it looks like it says right here…that it’s almost getting close to that famous time of year known as Christmastime! Ohhh!! Heavens to murgatroyd! Just what will we be doing in 9 days time! Well I know I’ll be wiping the sleep from my eyes, bounding down the staircase, and getting MAD at my KIDS for not getting me any good TOYS! That is, unless…unless a Christmas miracle happens. But what would it be! Perhaps it would be, a simple episode of a show, from the mind of two Content Creators, who love their jobs and want to make the whole world smile. Or maybe it’s THIS CRAP!!!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Social Media by Maddalena Alvarez.YKS Premium! It’s like this…only even more wilder, uncensored, out of control, and amazing! Follow us on Instagram: @YKSPod, TikTok: YourKickstarterSucks and subscribe to our YouTube channel for more video stuff!&

Intruder alert! Intruder alert! Permission to roll around at them for a second and get kicked really hard and fall apart while playing crysound.mp3 under a Jeep Grand Cherokee! ← This could be but a glimpse into our amazing future…if the geniuses over at Kickstarter are to be believed, that is. And, well, they’re geniuses. So I do believe them. I give them everything. They are my world. On today’s program we have an idea for something that will finally bring this country together…and it’s on TV! Which, you know what, if anything was gonna do it, it would probably be TV. But nah. Plus, pills for old people (they love ‘em), and an exciting idea for what kind of stuff you can put inside your toilet bowl. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Social Media by Maddalena Alvarez.YKS Premium - Want ALL the laughs and NONE of the ads? And have a CREDIT CARD? Well that’s where YKS Premium come

Wow! You know, this is a pretty darn good time to be thinking about some new products to consider purchasing and buying and stuff like that. I hope that some companies or those fine folks who are companies but just people – entrepreneurs – come up with some good new ideas for me to consume! Perhaps I should check the circulars (ads that cavemen looked forward to). Looks like we got socks that stay together, and. Actually you know what, that’s it. That’s perfect. I don’t need anything else. I’m happy now. Thank you God! Thank you my God! I am saved. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Social Media by Maddalena Alvarez.YKS Premium - It’s the right thing, baby! Oh yeah!Follow us on Instagram: @YKSPod, TikTok: YourKickstarterSucks and subscribe to our YouTube channel for more video stuff! This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Factor - It’s 2024. Y’all still not eatin fo

Friendships are tested and new alliances are formed when an unexpected riff threatens to derail the pod..Music for YKS courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, mr baloney, and Mark Brendle.Ho Ho Ho Patreon gift subs are now available! The Squeeze Louise tier is the perfect gift for grandma and pop pop! Stuff your stocking with over 200 video episodes in jaw-dropping 1080p!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hi everybody! I have an idea for a crab trap that makes it really hard for crabs to go into the trap, very easy for them to get out, and also it takes up a lot of space on your boat. Basically, it sucks. Hmmm…I think this will be the predominant tool of the industry for, oh, I’ll say, forever. WRONG SHITHEAD! YOU DIDN’T INNOVATE AND NOW YOU’RE DEAD! DEAD LIKE A CRAB!Also on today’s show we’ve got a nice little mascot for a restaurant of sorts, place to store those pesky eyeglasses, and a phone holder that you can break open to reveal the passphrases for a lottery puzzle. Actually it’s been canceled due to being illegal and stupid. But we didn’t know about this then. Because this episode…is from the recent past! Ah! Like our dreaded crab traps! Enjoy.Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Social Media by Maddalena Alvarez.YKS Premium – it’ll have you SHITTING your PANTS with laughter! Or, at lea

I need to simplify my life. I think probably the best way to do that is to start gluing stuff in my house to each other. That way when I want my spoon, hey, my matches are right there. And my hand towels? Well they won’t go missing again, glued such as they are to my desktop keyboard. Don’t ask me why I need them in the same spot. It’s really only something you can understand when your life is as simple as mine. On today’s show we’ve got, naturally, a way to glue your car keys to your phone, a thing that says it helps people but probably doesn’t (not this show), and a bed that constantly takes your dog’s blood pressure or something. And that’s just the Kickstarters! There’s other stuff in here too, like your friends Mike, JF, and Dan. And oh yeah, the Kickstarters as well. Now where'd I put that danged Post Episode button? It was right here, next to the glue bottle!!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited b

Political division! It’s arguably the biggest problem facing society today, or a fake thing that does not exist at all except in the mind of feckless dorks and opportunistic grifters. Who’s to say! Probably us, I would think. Yeah. I think it’s us guys who get to say what everything is. Also some stuff that “is” this week: a type of coffee that doesn’t make you go to the bathroom, an AI that helps you talk to women, and a religious satire movie that feels at least 20 years out of date. Plus, we don’t say anything about putting down dogs in this episode so everyone’s safe from that. If they don’t read this far I guess. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Social Media by Maddalena Alvarez.YKS Premium - Want more YKS? You Do?! Oh my god! You have to go to the jail hospital! Haha. That would be crazy. But after all, it is one crazy show. Whether it’s even more Kickstarters, real world adven

What a special episode! We finally got to it! The most cynical Kickstarter we have ever seen! It’s so special to actually get here and know that from here on out, every other unbuildable infrastructure project or card game rip-off or IP cash-in or political pandering or navel-gazing independent film or useless electronic doodad will be at the very least more of a genuine attempt at creating something than the project we talk about on today’s show. I am looking forward to seeing them!In addition to that hunk of crap, though, on today’s show we’ve got some goofy ass bible shit that feels like the end times, a project that attempts to undo the inevitability of meeting our end, and yep, a card game rip-off. Some nice comforting audio slop to offset the gobsmacking offensiveness of today’s star of the show. And no, I ain’t talkin’ about the boys themselves!! For crying out loud! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is

HEY! Wake up! I’m guessing you were probably asleep when this episode came out. I mean, we’re asleep for a third of our lives, so we got a decent shot. And I love a damn underdog. Well now that you’re awake, would you like to go to the bathroom and squeeze out like a millimeter of pee? Don’t forget to keep your eyes kind of halfway closed so you don’t get all the way waked up. That always works. Alright now that you’re done and settling back into bed it’s time to relax completely without peeking at the time on the clock. Just kidding, motherfucker! It’s 3am. Now you’re fucked. Might as well listen to the show. And what a show it is! Today we got a few things I think you’ll like. Well, you will if you like “camera-wires.” And if you like AI-generated football insights mailed to you a year after the actual event, you’ll be in hog heaven. Not to mention if you have an affection at all for F-tier CGI sticking Santa Clause “in the shit”. But onion tear likers? You’re shit outta luck. The rest of yas? Get in h

Eeeeeeeevveeerryyybboooody do the new show dance! Oh yeah! Let’s do it! I see you! Wow, guys, I knew you were super talented and always up for a crazy time, but I had no idea fans of YKS were such groovy groovers! You were really movin that thing! Well let’s put that energy to good use, shall we? By sitting still and quiet for like 2 hours while some other guys talk about the computer. Starting right….NOW! On today’s show we’ve got a pet memorial which honestly is fine just a little pretentious maybe but not every one of these is gonna be like CyberTruck Pedestrian Scraper, ya know? Sometimes it’s just a silly little doodad. And the idea is it prompts further spontaneous conversation. So get off my ass! And stop dancing! Plus we’ve got a QR code you can finally wear on your lapel, money you can wear on your finger, and a book that I think even the Comic Book Guy would say is the “Worst. Idea. Ever”! ™ . Copyright. Or maybe there’s some other worst ideas on the thing I forget. Only one way to find out…to keep

By day I’m a simple bartender…but by night…ahh!!! I really let my hair down and I become…The Beverage Entrepreneur! No you haven’t stumbled your way into one of the middling lunchpail Comedy Bang Bang episodes that didn’t even make it into the annual Top 10, you’re actually listening to one of the funniest episodes of YKS ever! On today’s very show, we have a nice Adult Toy that can Help, a sparkling water that will send the wokies reeing, and finally a use for those pesky plastic straws we’re all trying to buy more of. Plus, a few other things, like a celebrity who clearly wasn’t briefed on what the show is about and they get mad halfway through and we kinda gotta just gut it out! Oh well! Discuss it on the subreddit! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Social Media by Maddalena Alvarez.YKS Premium - Miketober comes but once a year! And so do most of our listeners! Sign up today a

Go home, YKS…you’re drunk! Oh wait no you aren’t. You’re just making another good ass funny ass episode of the show we all love to listen to. And after all, the show is quite beloved by many all around the world…so why wouldn’t we make more episodes of it? Well maybe we will get bored or hit by a bus or something. But not this week! We did one. And on it, we had some good ass shit such as the following: a movie about how to time travel, a drink that mixes up it own self for you and there’s no booze or mixer in it, and also something called Morphy Richards. Morphy Richards. Well anyway, it sounds funny. So. Bring your sense of humor! It’s required!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Social Media by Maddalena Alvarez.YKS Premium is the ONLY place you can find the frequently-listened-to, fake movie trivia and plot recap series MIKETOBER! Coming to Patreon this month! And presumably for many yea

I’m out of town so I’m gonna make this one quick, alright? Girl Scout Cookies are cookies sold by Girl Scouts in the United States to raise funds to support Girl Scout councils and individual troops. The cookies are widely popular and are commonly sold by going door-to-door, online, through school or town fundraisers, or at "cookie booths" set up at storefronts.[1] The program is intended to both raise money and improve the financial literacy of girls. During an average selling season (usually January through April), more than one million girls sell over 200 million packages of cookies and raise over $800 million.[2][3] The first known sale of cookies by Girl Scouts was in 1917.[4][5][6] Cookie sales are organized by 112 regional Girl Scout councils[7] who select one of two national bakeries to buy cookies from.[3][8]Plus we learn about Disease X.Video of this episode is available at Patreon.com/yourkickstartersucksMusic for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additi

Where Faith Meets Fun! Where Faith Meets Fun! Where Faith Meets Fun! Right here, on YKS! On today’s show we got dog vitamins, something that improves voicemail somehow (other than making your outgoing message a recording of you in the bathroom with your buddy), and the one and only, the man without whom none of this would be possible, the great Jan-Ove Waldner! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. It may just be mid September…but already our eyes turn…to Miketober! Get all the scaretacular fun on YKS Premium in just a couple of weeks!Follow us on Instagram: @YKSPod  and TikTok: YourKickstarterSucksThis episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Factor - You get a meal! And you get a meal! And you get a meal! Look under your chair…there’s a meal there! That is, if you have a chair on your porch or in your yard or in the office downstairs where the packages get delivered! B

Sometimes you’ll look at the title of an episode and think to yourself, “Oh yeah, I remember why the title of the episode was gonna be this. Because we did a good riff on what The Duckcaller’s Lament would be. And then you got some times where you have to write “Pumpkin Master’s Sake Bones” down in the title box, and you wish you could crawl into a hole and die. There are a lot more of those weeks. Anyway on today’s show, we got Lil’ Entrepreneurs, a movie that feels like a fake movie inside a fake movie, and a nice Guilt App that makes you feel bad for just sitting around doing nothing evil. And plus, God willing, a riff about Sake Bones that justifies this incomprehensible mishmash of an episode title. Please. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Whether it’s talking more about Kickstarter, or talking to our friends about old men’s buttholes, YKS Premium is the destination fo

Weee-hoo!! Yowee!! We got a Class 5 YKS comin in hot so we’re gonna wanna get all the way around it and drop our headphones right in its path! Yeah the first one kind of already did all this but this one has a bunch of 20 year olds in it so…yeeehawww!!! Well I’d keep joking about that crap but I haven’t finished watching it yet. Stick around for part 2 of the Twisters 2 Riff in the next episode description. Until then, you’ll have to be satisfied with an app for battle rapping, a way to keep your desserts warm on the go, and a decidedly unwoke independent movie! It’s a YKS Thing, baby! You probably do understand.Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium – Now that’s what I call YKS! Get 4 or 5 more episodes of our crazy content every month at patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks!Follow us on Instagram: @YKSPod  and TikTok: YourKickstarterSucksThis episode of YKS is sponsored by t

MORTUY: Oh geez Rick, I don’t know about this one Rick. It looks like we accidentally portaled to a planet where there’s a ruling race of sentient Kickstarter projects! Oh man, oh geez Rick. I just want to go home and pull my pud man. I don’t want to do all this space flying stuff anymore man. Look at that one…it’s like a stupid pirate card game and it’s coming at me! Ahh!! And look over there, it’s a stupid podcast about how we’re all the same! Oh god it’s horrifying. But I think I’m most terrified of the guy who went to do some sex tourism and thought it was cute! Okay that’s a real guy so it’s not really like an alien thing but man that’s really scary, too. Right, Rick? Uhh…rick??RICK: (Flashing his space credit card) One for booty on the poop deck, please! Morpy I love you. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. You know how you sometimes see an out of order toilet that people cle