Your Kickstarter Sucks

You ever get the feeling you’re…in a dream? We’ve all heard of Stranger Things, but that was just a show…right? On today’s episode, the thin line between reality and…something else begins to fray. And YKS may never be the same. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Want more YKS? Yep. I betcha do. Then you’re gonna want to head on over to patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks and sign up for YKS Premium – Da Best Deal In Da Biz (™) Last week, we had the great David Roth on to preview NFL Week 2 and put Dumpy Trump in his cheesetacular place (jail?). This week, you’ve got even MORE episodes to look forward to – this one will probably be about the Woke Pilots we talked about on today’s show and some bad Kickstarters that Missed The Cut, but I’ll let ya know when we release it. Plus, we can’t forget the Squeeze Louise mailbag coming out at the end of the month – all in bea

On today’s episode, we got some good ass shit goin, okay? If you like $50 bills and ethical dogfighting, you’re gonna like this episode, alright? And if you’re into tape measures that can store all your measurements, putting baseball cards in coffee beans, and flushing bags of dog shit down the toilet, you’re gonna be doin’ just fine for this one too. There’s something for everyone here this week, as long as they like at least one of those specific things and don’t hate one of the other ones so much that it takes away from their enjoyment of the one they do like. Got it?!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.For more YKS Premium, head on over to YKS Premium. Oh crud. Hang on. I think I messed up! I was supposed to say that differently! But you get the idea. Support the show on Patreon for ad-free episodes, hundreds of hours of bonus content, and more. Last week we

Hey just so you know, the movie I was trying to think of was The Void. It doesn’t come up until way later in the episode, and it does seem like I’m about to get it but honestly I don’t. I get kinda close and then about 5 minutes after we’re done, I figure it out. It ain’t all happy endings, folks. Anyway on today’s show, we’re tossing and turning over Dan’s Proposition, oh and we’re sleepkicking a little bit sure, and we’re telling you why Bill Gates stuck us all with Micro$uck Winblows. Plus a bunch of crap to help you sleep different and eat weirder. It’s YKS time baby!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.I looooooove YKS Premium so much…I might just marry it! And you are invited to the ceremonies. You can be a guest with access to hundreds of hours of bonus audio content, a member of the wedding party, privy to tons of video episodes and a special VIP Squeeze L

Monday morning...oh shucks. I was just getting to love the weekend, and now it's gone! Maybe Monday should be the weekend too. Then we'd start the week on Tuesday, nice and fresh. I guess then Tuesday would be the new Monday. Garfield would be fucking pissed, but who cares about that racist? That's right, Garfield the cat was racist. I mean, probably, right? That was a long time ago. It would almost be surprising if he weren't. Piece of shit. Anyway on today's show we've doing a lunchbag takeover with our friend Dan the Glizzy King, getting favstar notifications for our weather reports, and doing the world's shortest update on an old Kickstarter. Plus, Master P is on this one. Remember that guy? Yep, we did too. That's why we did it. Anyway, check it out. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Often it has been said, "YKS is the cure for the common podcast"! And by

YKS freaks...you're gonna love this one. Mike is here, JF too, and oh yeah...a guy by the name of PRODUCER DAN shows up? Heard of him?? Thought so. It's a jam-packed ep this week, as the boys are talkin robotic lawncare, the future of porno, and a third thing you're gonna have to hear to believe. Plus...Ask Yoda App?? Someone got there before us? What the hell?? Fuck! So grab the Stinker Sauce and start squirtin' it around...it's a new YKS!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Ready to take this YKS thing up a notch? Check out YKS Premium. It's so much fun, it should be illegal! But if it was, it would be like a super huge problem for me. It would be incredibly bad. Like, life-ruining. So let's call our senators, gang. Or whatever. This week's episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Backbone - Hey you got any games on your phone? Well now you do. Backbone'

Damn! I need a low-consumption and energy-saving ice-making cooling cup. But where in the hell…oh! I guess I can get it just about every week on Kickstarter: the website that used to be about cryptocurrency, we think. Gang, on today’s show we’re gettin the monchies, okay? We’re going eemee meemee mimee mow, okay? And we’re extracting chicken tendons like there’s no tomorrow. But god willing, there will be a tomorrow. Because there has to be. Because there needs to be. And if there’s not, we’ll make one. For everyone. What the fuck? I don’t know why I said that, sorry. I think I downloaded the Kamala Harris program or something. Anyway enjoy the program. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.YKS Premium is so much fun…YKS Premium is Number One! That’s sort of an alternate history theme song. In a timeline where I wrote the theme songs and really didn’t spend too muc

You know, it’s not every day that a brand new episode of YKS comes out and immediately gets downloaded to your phone, and you let it suck up 100mb of space while you wait for some bad chores to zone out during. It’s actually every Monday, and as luck would have it, that’s the day of the week that today is! So we put together some questions for our resident Earologist, named the TV Bitch, and remembered fondly the Music City Miracle, plus exposed cancel culture, ate some panties, and made some songs with a computer. Alright, I think that’s good enough to fold laundry to. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt. YKS Premium! It seems hard to believe at times, but there is even more YKS available for listening and viewing! Check us out over at Patreon to catch up on YKS Beach Party, to see our faces move around when we talk, and get our exclusive mailbag episodes! Comin

What’s this episode of YKS about? Well, I can tell you what it’s NOT about: saturated fat, trans fat, cholesterol, dietary fiber, total sugars, added sugars, vitamin D, calcium, iron, or potassium. Plus it comes in a small aluminum can with a “color swirl design”, and can be purchased in quantities of 8 or 24. And it tastes alright once you get to be in your 30s. Plus, we’re talking woke fetuses, sales couches, and morbin’ time. Basically a bunch of stupid crap you can see if you go on the computer. And I shoved a “Beach Plum” up my ass. Whatever that is. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.YKS Premium! The only place they let us actually be ourselves! This past week, we finished up YKS Beach Party with the one and only Howell Dawdy! Join us for an in-depth discussion of Miss Cast Away and the Island Girls, aka Silly Movie 2. Was it Jacko’s finest work? Well, uh.

Mike and JF…they are are one “Odd Couple”. Sure, “I Love Lucy”, but something about these two really makes me smile. I guess you could say I’m “Bewitched” by them. Oh, you don’t listen? Well, hey, “Diff’rent Strokes” for different folks. By the way, I have captured and tied up the extraterrestrial creature known as “ALF”; he’s in my basement right now! And so on. Today’s YKS is a good one for everybody but Italians I’m sorry to say, but the rest of you are going to be treated to some new kitchen innovations, a twisted ripoff card game of a twisted ripoff card game, and believe it or not, a really corny and stupid webcomic! It’s a “The Facts Of Life” that you’re gonna like this one! Sorry I closed the Nick at Nite Wiki and couldn’t remember any other ones. Okay see ya.Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Bikinis? Check. Robot sidekicks? Check. Michael Jackson? Say

You know what they say about sequels…they’re just as good, if not much better, everyone comes away from them feeling satisfied, and more importantly, wanting even more! That’s why we decided to burn the candle at both ends and pump out another YKS Nights! It’s not because we’re fucking up our schedules! It’s a creative decision! This week we’ve got an answer to the question “What was John Wick like before the movies, and if it wasn’t Keanu Reeves in it?” , some shoes so ugly even JF wouldn’t wear them, and a device for killing bugs that makes that salt shotgun look ingenious by comparison. Plus, Producer Dan eats a burger LIVE! You ain’t gonna get that anywhere else…unless you see Dan walking around, I guess. In which case, DO NOT APPROACH! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.The Beach Party over at YKS Premium continues! Last week we had our friend Demi Lardner

Oooh it’s steamy…ooh it’s dreamy…it’s YKS Nights! YKS Nights is just like YKS Daytime, except, you know, a little…steamier and dreamier. On this week’s episode we got a hell of a lot of hot shaving content that’ll turn you on without a touch. This is so hot, you gotta be yankin me! Come on Hoo Hoo Masters, it’s time to get all steamed up! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.You’re Invited! All month long on YKS Premium, we’re throwing the biggest blowout bash blast this side of Shangri-La! Join us and our many special guests as we celebrate the summer of silly the only way we know how: podcasting! If you’re not subscribed yet, you missed last week’s episode with our friends John Cullen and Stefan Heck of Blocked Party, who dialed in from the Left Coast to talk Surf School (2006), perhaps Harland Williams’ worst film! $5 today, (or even better, $8) and it’s all yo

Don’t miss this episode! Your old friends Mike and JF are back and they’re even wackier than ever before, due to probably a bunch of chemicals in our air and water and blood I’m guessing. On today’s show we got some evidence as to what happens when you ironically appreciate some evil stuff a little bit too much, when you unironically appreciate some other evil stuff way too much, and when you just straight up hate one single guy, who may or may not be evil, for unknown reasons. Believe it or not, every single time, it’s a Kickstarter project. Anyway, strap in and start hootin, cause it’s time for a wet and wild episode of YkS: ThE PoDcAsT! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.YKS Premium. Many people are saying listening to the show will “cure all your diseases.” Do I endorse that view? Well, I’ll say this. I’m the guy who makes the show and, as far as I know, the

Of all the universes in all the multiverses, THIS is the one you chose to portal us to?! The one with a brand new YKS dropping, and it’s about a bunch of crazy Kickstarters and stuff!? You better know what you’re doing, because if we don’t retrieve the Cube of Crowdfundium by the time Brendle’s Song plays…well, let’s just say you better hold on to your board games, buster! On today’s show, ah yes, it says right here in the scrolls, there was a really weird thing about car keys, a psycho copsucker app, oh my, and yes, this is the exact date they discussed the guy gluing a lighter to his cell phone! It’s just as was foretold…now hurry, back to The Webby. We might just have enough hyperfuel to bounce to the next cryptoworld…Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.After an episode like this, they should really consider not doing any more of the show. And yet! The Adventu

Dan's Bong had a Facebook page. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.For even more coverage of Dan's Bong Adventures, head on over to YKS Premium. That's basically what we're doing over there now, yeah. Today's episode of YKS Premium is sponsored by these fine brands.Schedule35 - Now I was always taught to not eat stuff that you found in the woods, on the ground. Come to find out, maybe if I had thrown that particular yoke off a bit earlier in life, I could have a better and deeper understanding of my self and environment etc? Guhh? Well that's what I read anyway. And with Schedule35, they picked the stuff up off the ground for you, and measured it and told you how much to take and stuff. And I bet they even washed the things, too. Sound too good to be true? Well, it ain't. Get 15% off your order at Schedule35.co with the promo code YKS.Doctor Butlers - Hemorrhoid

Y'all! Come quick! Ol' Dan's got into the steamies again! On today's program -- and sorry if the episode description seems a little "catty". My cat is doing the thing where she reaches out her claw very slowly to slightly nick my finger skin so that it itches for the next 2 days. God I love animals soo much -- we've got a step by step recipe for Mike's special chili cleanse and god damn it she's doing it right now and it hurts why can't we just sit here and chill or maybe talk or whatever. Plus we've got the long-awaited reboot of fortune cookies, a lamp so stupid even Brick wouldn't love it, and a major leap in pet tech ok now she's laid her head down on the laptop edge which is super smart cause that doesn't have to close or anything right?? Ok enjoy the show I'm going to go stand up and have an animal get mad at me for doing it. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola

YKS...what a pod. Man, there is no topic these guys won't touch. But would they touch a $50 bill inside the toilet, or a $10 on the seat? Well, they didn't talk about it on the show, so there's no answer in the 90-some minutes of content here. It's outside the bounds of the conversations, really. Actually, it's up to you to decide. Would Mike take the $50? Would JF play it safe with the tenner? Do either of them go to the bathroom after seeing the money? Was it a number one or a number two, anyway? Write that stuff down on a sheet of paper and turn it in with your parent/guardian's signature next week. And whoever gets it right, will get one sticker. Which I have to pay for, out of my own pocket by the way. Think about your answers while you hear the boys talk about indoctrinating children with crypto cartoons, new ways to wipe our asses, and new ways to wipe our teeth. Plus, a product they're already heavily advertising on Tiktok, so you know it's good! Out of the VIP club and into the poop hoop! It's a new

Alright gang I'm gonna level with ya. I am sicker than I can remember being in years. I'm dictating this episode description to Siri from the toilet. And I think it's going pretty well so far. New incognito window. Crazy busty porno where it seems like everyone is enjoying themselves equally. Scan ahead 13 mins. Pause. Switch tabs. And so it's not gonna be the world's longest description, okay? It's just -- switch tabs scan through video back and forth pause, go back, add query "staff picks" -- not. I just ain't feelin' up to looking at such a big computer screen for more than, statistically speaking, 3-5 minutes. But yes on today's show you will hear about Mike passing on the bag, the proliferation of the lizard people, and honestly probably the most Kickstarters we've ever mentioned in one episode of the show. Now if you'll excuse me, I must be going. Close tab. Open new tab. Search will god forgive me. Delete. Search best burgers. Enter. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Balone

Straight from Jacko’s hyperbolic chamber…it’s the YKS boys! On today’s show we’re doing all kinds of fun shit. First you got this Mike guy, who knows a lot about the TV show Friends. Then you got this JF character, and whoaaa boy, look out for that guy. And when they both get the woke mind virus? Ah golly! Well, let’s just hope they had enough time to go over a crazy new hot box for your cats, a crypto tracker just in time for crypto’s great resurgence, and an app where you can ask someone to send you a picture of a hotel room before you book it. Heh. Something tells me there was plenty of time. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.YKS Premium…oh my god, I love it! That’s why I go to patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks, to sign up and then pay for it. It’s good to do this!This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands: Schedule35 - Now normally I hate having a

Great news, everyone! We just found out we’ve been renewed for another 250 episodes! To celebrate, we’ve decided to bring back some of the classic YKS things you all loved so much, with a fun “Next 250 Episodes” twist. This week, you’ll enjoy a stupid piece of bathroom tech, some rebadged bulk dropshipped electronics, and a weird guy with ideas about how he could run the country. But THIS time, we will sound approximately 5 years older. And that’s just a taste of what we have in store for you all this time around. So if that sounds like the ride of a lifetime, slap that motherfuckin play button and let’s fast forward to our 40s baby!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.YKS Premium – the ONLY place to double your YKS fun, every single damn week! Now with video! See if you can pause on the spliced in scenes of our balls! This episode of YKS is brought to you by thes

Two Hundred Fifty episodes. Now that's what I call a very significant milestone. Even though some of the episodes were reruns from YKS Premium. Oh yeah, and there are hundreds of YKS Premium episodes too. So is this really 250, when it's actually like 482? Yep. That's what the number says, so that's what it is. On today's 250th episode, which is the number that it is, we're dealing with our 3 Foes, cooking toxins, and Mike's Little Freakout Pile. Plus we got a cool book for kids...who like motorcycles, a guy doing some 2007 style YouTube stuff...today, and yet another porch package device...with a twist! And a very special anniversary edition of Real or Fake. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.For ad-free versions of YKS and much more, head on over to patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks. Just a straightforward plug. Nothing wrong with that sometimes. Not everything