Life Over Coffee With Rick Thomas

Shows Main Idea – Listening to someone to understand them does not mean we have to accept their views or follow their perspectives. We listen to people to learn from them to understand and help them. If we do not know them well, we cannot help them. How can we listen to people who believe differently from us but not allow them to convince us of their views or follow their ideology? Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-43-listen-others-without-swayed/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Because of the clarity of God’s Word, the path to life change is not mysterious or elusive. If it were complex, we’d all be in a mess. Did you know that Paul gave his protege, Timothy, a practical plan for change that we can replicate in our lives, too? Though Paul’s process is not the final or plenary word for transformation, it’s one of the most excellent thumbnail sketches you’ll find in Scripture. It’s concise, understandable, and, best of all, attainable. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/four-sequential-steps-to-change-your-life/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

If you know someone who is not changing, do not despair. There is a way to help them. I'm not suggesting they will change even if you did everything perfectly, but there is a process for transformation that every Christian should know. I will break down those dynamics of change for you—the essential elements to lead someone into Christlike transformation. I hope the Lord will use these thoughts as you serve those you love so well. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/if-your-friend-is-not-changing-consider-this/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Shows Main Idea – Is bringing a baby into our evil world right? Where is the line between God’s sovereignty and personal responsibility? We live in a broken world that is full of evil. Every future parent knows that when they bring a baby into the world, the child struggles with brokenness and fallenness while tempted and affected by our corrupted culture. Where is the balance? How are we to think about these things? Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-42-bring-baby-evil-world/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Will you test yourself before you read this chapter? What are your thoughts toward those you would like to see change, especially those not responding the way you hoped they would? My aim is for you to consider the motives and methods you employ when motivating someone to change. If we do not have a proper motive, it will affect our methods, even tempting us to demand or manipulate someone to change while never considering how out of tune we are with God and the narrative He is writing for the unchanging person. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/forcing-others-to-change-will-blow-up-your-relationship-with-them/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Sometimes, when people hear the term biblical counseling, they think about a two-tier system within Christianity: those who can counsel and those who cannot. When I talk to some Christians about biblical counseling, they step back mentally while disqualifying themselves by saying, “I can’t do that.” For them, biblical counseling connotes a two-tier structure of competency or something for professionals. This problem, among a few other liabilities with the biblical counseling movement makes it wise to change our thinking about how we do soul care. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/a-better-way-to-do-counseling/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Shows Main Idea – How are we to think about parental discipline? Should we spank our children? What if we had a bad experience with our parents; how are we to respond to our children? What does the Bible say about correction, obedience, and the purposes of child discipline? This episode answers all those questions plus many more, giving you a solid foundation and direction on this vital topic. Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-40-twelve-things-know-spanking-parental-discipline/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

In any discipleship situation, the discipler’s theology must inform their discipleship process. Theology and application act as guardrails to keep the counseling process moving in the right direction while avoiding the inevitable hazards that inferior theology and deficient applications cause. Maintaining this type of counseling equilibrium has several benefits, such as keeping the discipler from losing hope or even sinning while caring for others. The Bible provides us with an case study to make this point. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-problem-with-expecting-someone-to-change-1-0/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Every person who comes to you does not always fully invest themselves in being free from their problems. I’m not suggesting they are insincere. I’m speaking to the complexity of some issues and the accompanying heart entanglements that have become part of a person’s life for so long that the habituation’s strength is more powerful than the motivation to change. Just because they share their trouble with you does not mean they will put in the effort to change. The unchanging person is a common occurrence, and the reasons for it are worth our consideration. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/seven-reasons-a-person-will-not-change-2/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Shows Main Idea – I sat down with Mark Grant to discuss his experience as he went through our Mastermind training program. Mark was our first student and graduate of our training. He later became one of our supervisors, teaching our students. Mark finished the coursework in fifteen months, which was the quickest anyone had completed the course. Most of our students finish within 24 and 36 months. I hope you benefit as he shares his training experience, what God did in him, and what life has been like since. Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-32-mark-grants-experience-training-program/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Your friend comes to you with a secret sin. You are his accountability partner, and he asks you to keep his sin secret. How would you respond to him? Is it okay to pledge confidentiality or have an expectation of it? Does confidentiality have value in the context of confession? Are there instances where we should tell others about a transgression, even if the guilty party is against it? What biblical principles should guide us regarding secrets, secret keeping, sharing, and biblical communication? Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/should-i-keep-my-friends-sin-secret/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Shows Main Idea – Each local church has visitors, regular attendees, non-engaged members, and engaged members. In many of these churches, the visitors, attendees, and non-engaged members are more numerous than those doing the ministry's work. When this happens, the church's infrastructure—leaders—is weaker than those who expect care from the church. You'll also find that those who expect more care complain more. Thus, each church has to wrestle with how to identify and develop more engaged members by identifying the consumers and moving them into the smaller leadership infrastructure sphere. Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-29-makes-equipping-different-effective/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Did you know it’s possible to know God but still have a hard heart? Though we have many means of grace, like prayer, the Bible, our local churches, and each other, Christians are not impervious to the infiltration of sin or its dastardly effects. It only takes a little evil to create havoc in our souls. Knowing and experiencing God does not prevent us from moving down the path to hard-heartedness, making it critical to understand how to diagnose the sequence that leads to a hard heart. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/diagnosing-the-four-steps-to-a-hard-heart/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Are you more concerned about what God thinks about your sin or what others think about your sin? How you answer this question will determine the quality of your life and the way you interact with your friends. If you're more concerned about God's view of you, there will be a desire to live openly and honestly before Him and others. However, if the opinions of others have more control over you, the temptation to hide your true self while presenting a false narrative will be immense. To know what has more power is by assessing your willingness to be appropriately transparent with your friends. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/when-i-kept-silent-about-my-sin-this-is-what-happened/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

God did not create all friends equally. You have some friends you want in your inner circle because they are biblically mature and reciprocating. Perhaps there are others that you must keep at arm's length because they are tedious and require more work to maintain. This second group is unidirectional friends—acquaintances who cannot speak into your life, making it a one-way street: you always serve them. If you have a challenging friend, here are seven considerations. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/seven-considerations-for-challenging-friends/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Shows Main Idea – I had the sex talk with our son when he was 12. I took him to the beach for a few days to discuss the most intimate relational dynamic between a man and a woman. One of our Mastermind students asked if I would share a few details about how I went about it, similar to Lucia’s talk with our daughters. What we did is only one way to have this vital talk, and I trust these ideas and perspectives will serve you, particularly if you’re planning to speak with your children. Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/recently-sex-talk-son/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Job’s wild ride through the crucible of suffering was coming to an end. The devil was nearing defeat, the Lord was receiving glory, and Job was changing. I knew the first two things would happen: Satan would lose, and God would win. What I did not expect was all the Lord wanted to do with my friend, Job. I did not even know he had a problem. He seemed to be a good man, going about doing good (Job 1:1, 5). After Satan turned his world upside down, he refused to sin or charge the Lord with any wrong (Job 1:22). I suppose I did not understand how to discern a person’s faith. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/you-know-your-faith-is-really-real-when-you-can-do-this/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Shows Main Idea – A friend approached me, asking how to help his church because they have a weak view of biblical counseling. He is a lone voice with an effective biblical model for sanctification through discipleship. He wants to motivate his leaders but knows they prefer an integrated worldview and practice. It’s not that they have thought about it but have been affected by a psychologized zeitgeist. He asked me how I would address the issues if it were my church. What about you? Perhaps you love a purer form of discipleship, but you have friends who are unfamiliar with what that means or they are against biblical counseling. I trust these thoughts will encourage and help you, too. Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-30-shouldnt-make-big-deal-biblical-counseling/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

When things do not go according to our plans, and the losses keep mounting, it’s only a short step from walking away from God and the caring friends who are willing to persevere with us and our suffering. It is possible to get to that place of giving up, a perspective that buys into the belief that things won’t change to a more favorable outcome. It’s a tension between humans and the Divine when God does not act as we think He should. Though we know how this tug-o-war will end, it does not alter the tension, or the temptation to quit. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/how-can-i-trust-god-when-he-does-not-act-the-way-i-think-he-should/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Does anyone love God because of who He is, or do we love Him for what we can receive from Him? I’m not implying it’s wrong to want things from the Lord because we should desire things from Him, like His salvation. However, there is a priority with all relationships. Do we enter friendships for what we can get out of them, or are we primarily interested in being with and serving that friend? Pertaining to God, it’s vital to examine the quality of our faith, always making our relationship with Him transcendent over self-interest while enjoying the beauty of knowing God for who He is. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/three-keys-to-help-you-look-beyond-your-suffering/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.