Life Over Coffee With Rick Thomas

Typically, when people think about modesty, their minds immediately go to what a person wears and arbitrary preferences rather than the heart’s motivations that influence our external choices. Perhaps when I mentioned “modesty,” your impulse was similar: “Great, he will tell us what to wear!” If so, you’re normal. But my goal here is different. I am not going to suggest what you should wear. I want to focus on something more vital—our hearts, the genesis of all of our thoughts, attitudes, words, and behaviors, including how we adorn our bodies. Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/exporting-modesty-to-the-next-generation/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/

Social media is ubiquitous, and there are many redemptive applications of it. But with all good things, there is always the Adamic smell of death that lures some people into the darker side of what should be a means of grace. Social media has many temptations, one of those is the comparison trap that stirs a desire to compete with the culture’s view of appearance, attractiveness, and acceptance. Many women succumb to this temptation, especially as they age. As one wife asked me, “How do I compete with cyber women as my body continues to waste away?” Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/how-can-i-compete-with-cyber-women/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/

One hundred out of one hundred people struggle with the fear of man. Caring about what others think about us is part of our Adamic packaging. I have never counseled a person who did not struggle with this problem to some degree. Our secular community calls it co-dependency or peer pressure. It hardly matters as long as you can biblically define what is happening and apply God’s solutions. In this case study, I’m going to address fear in the context of marriage. Specifically, insecurity as the inhibitor that keeps a husband from leading his wife well. Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-416-a-crippling-reason-why-a-husband-does-not-lead-his-wife/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/

Mable came to me, exclaiming, “I’m frustrated! I am always approaching my husband with my sin, asking for his forgiveness, but he seems never to see his need to ask me for forgiveness. Many times he won’t even bother to forgive me. What am I to do? How can I respond to him when he shows no interest in working with me through our problems?” Her complaint is not unusual in relationships, married or otherwise. In fact, her situation is probably the norm because folks do not mature equally or at the same pace. Let me share with you what I told her, and, of course, you can apply these things to either gender, not just Biff. Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/my-husband-never-asks-for-forgiveness-how-am-i-to-respond/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/

There is an intrinsic nature to bitterness. The bitter person is like someone with a cup of poison. Each time they think about their problems, they take another sip. In most situations, the individual is not aware of what they are doing to themselves. It’s an unwitting form of self-sabotage. Perhaps they are aware, but the pain of their situation is so disappointing that they don’t care. From their painful perspective, it’s easier to grumble, complain, vent, and hurt. There is a better solution. Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/bitterness-is-self-induced-poisoning-of-the-soul/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/

Shows Main Idea – Have you ever thought about how others think about you? I know you have because it’s a common impulse in all of us, though some folks overthink how they come across to others. It has too much control over their lives. What about you; what are your thoughts about God’s view of you? What do you think His opinion of you is? Did you know how you think God thinks about you is one of the most vital things you can think about? Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-415-how-does-god-see-you-and-why-does-it-matter/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/

People ask me often for parenting advice. It’s a broad subject, and depending on the age of the children and a host of other factors, my response is always different. Sometimes I tell them what we did, not because we have figured things out or that there is a formula “out there” somewhere. There is not. If any of our children do well, it will be God’s grace. But if you were to ask me a few of the top things we taught our children, let’s start with these. Here are our top fifty things that we want our daughters to know. Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/50-things-i-want-my-daughter-to-know/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/

What would you say if you could share the top 50 things you would want your son to take into adulthood? If your son is young, you’re in a great spot to start teaching some of these things. If your son is in his teen years, ask the Father to give you the time, wisdom, and courage to share your heart with him. If your son is out of the home, it’s not too late to carry on what you’ve begun or build those relational bridges to communicate what’s vital to you to him. Here are the 50 things I shared with my son. Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/50-things-i-want-my-son-to-know/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/

Shows Main Idea – There is an one-sided and perverse teaching that some Christians have pushed forward that wives should make themselves available for their husbands to keep them in the home, not looking for sex elsewhere. This perspective presumes the wife becomes the solution to a husband’s sexual desires and drive, plus the deterrent for extra-marital activity. Is this the proper way for a Christian woman to think about and respond to her husband? Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-414-must-wife-have-sex-with-her-husband-so-he-wont-stray/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/

It is not unusual for a marriage to be out-of-balance or spiritually off-kilter. There are many reasons for this problem between two formerly inseparable people who now have something between them that keeps them asymmetrical. Before addressing how to deal with a spouse who does not see a problem in their marriage, I have a few ideas of how these partners could have been so in love at the beginning and drift apart within a few years. Afterward, I will provide a few practical solutions for the spouse who wants to restore the marriage. Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/my-husband-does-not-see-a-problem-with-our-marriage-2/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/

Shows Main Idea – Perhaps you have heard someone talk about father wounds or daddy issues. Typically, these descriptors fit within a "wounded theology construct." It's part of a materialistic anthropological worldview that veers from the teaching of Scripture. When we integrate the culture into our Christian perspectives, we always come away with a hybrid that is neither Christian nor secular. What are the complicated problems with wounded theology and victim identity? Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-413-the-problem-with-wounded-theology-and-victim-identity/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/

Patiently loving the abused while listening to their story to comprehend what happened to and in them is vital. Additionally, you will represent Jesus most effectively if you do not move faster than they can go. Of course, you want them to experience restorative freedom, but each person moves at a unique pace, something you must discern while not artificially mandating. As you consider their restoration process, you want to discern several essentials, a few of which I will outline for you. Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/listening-to-sexual-abuse-part-2/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/

Sexual abuse is one of the most devastating and complicating sin crimes that someone forces on another human being. Though I don’t fully understand the horror of this type of abuse because it has not happened to me, I’ve sat with many victims of sexual violence and felt and seen, in part, the effect it has on them. Even the abused have a hard time articulating what has happened to them. Thus, it’s essential when helping the abused that you listen well to what they are telling you. You need to be highly careful and competent to care for these broken souls. Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/listening-to-sexual-abuse-part-1/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/

Shows Main Idea – A friend shared a video from a biblical counseling ministry where the leader spoke to women about their views on helping when abuse happens. My friend asked my opinion, which I shared, and then decided it would be worth a more in-depth examination because I have seen this before, where a person with a good heart overreaches with a flawed hermeneutic to make the Bible say something that it does not, hoping to help those victims. We don’t have to twist God’s Word to care for hurting souls. Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-412-do-we-have-to-twist-scripture-to-help-victims-of-abuse/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/

Anger is one of our most common temptations. You cannot put two imperfect people together for an extended period and expect them not to have conflict. Anger will always be part of their relationship. Knowing how to navigate the conflict while removing the anger is essential. We cannot work through any relational dust-up well if our sin plan does not include anger’s removal. In this chapter, I have twelve crucial tips to help anyone address their conflict from a biblical perspective. Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/12-tips-to-help-a-person-who-is-angry-with-someone/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/

Roll through your mental index, identifying the kind of person or people you do not prefer, or those you typically avoid? They do things you don’t like. Their attitude, mannerism, behavior, worldview, or [fill in the blank] is not your cup of tea. Perhaps it’s something your spouse, child, parent, or church member does. Maybe it’s that Christian hypocrite who needs to “get a life” or someone who has different strengths and weaknesses from yours. Do you have that person in mind? Great! Let’s proceed by applying the Lord’s mandate to love your enemy. Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/pick-an-enemy-now-will-you-do-what-jesus-said-love-them/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/

Shows Main Idea – There is a spiritual connection between the disciple-maker and the disciple. The Spirit of God binds them together. When this connection happens, the effect on each other’s lives will be impactful and transformative. There are three essentials that every disciple-maker must have to have this kind of impact on themselves and others. Let’s take a look at these three essentials in sequential order. Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-411-three-essentials-we-need-to-be-effective-disciple-makers/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/

When mass shootings happen, many reasonable people stand on all sides of the gun control debate. Some folks want to limit the number of guns we have and how we use them. Others want to eliminate them altogether. Then there are those who want more freedom regarding firearms. The debate is ongoing, but it always intensifies when there is a murder. These shootings rip out our hearts as we try to comprehend what happened. It does not matter how many times you hear of it or how much violence you watch on television; when you hear a story about people killing people, the sadness overwhelms you. Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/what-is-the-best-solution-for-the-gun-control-problem/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/

Sometimes the English language is inadequate for conveying our thoughts. Words always seem to fall short when there is a personal or national tragedy. Tragedies remind me of Job’s friends who made a wise choice in the beginning not to speak so quickly. Horrific events render our minds into something like a busy intersection in gridlock. Each time I hear of one, I mentally pause, reflect, and mourn. You do this too because we’re Christians. We care. We also want to prepare our hearts as we respond to terrible events. Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/preparing-your-heart-for-tragedy-like-las-vegas-nv/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/

Shows Main Idea – Fear is our number one temptation. We are afraid of so many things, and making a mistake is probably at the top of most people’s "I don’t want this to happen" lists. How can you know with certainty that the person you meet, the place you go, or the thing you do are right and the results will not disappoint you? Sadly, too many people have experienced hurt too many times, and they have relegated themselves to a lesser life to keep themselves from future disappointment. Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-411-how-can-i-know-a-person-place-or-thing-wont-disappoint/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/