Life Over Coffee With Rick Thomas

Marriage counseling has historically been the most common type of counseling I have done, which makes sense because the marriage relationship is unique in that there is not supposed to be an escape clause. Marriage is for life. This fact makes marriage the perfect context for relationship sharpening. There are times when counseling is essential because of the fallenness of the couple and the need for community. If your marriage is bad, you more than likely are doing some of the following things. These are some of the most oft-repeated mistakes I have seen in poor marriages. Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/ten-tips-to-kill-your-marriage/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Some husbands and wives can have a hard time putting a broken marriage back together. Typically, expectations and disappointments create a backlog of unresolved conflict. Unforgiveness sets in, the death toll to any relationship. When a couple gets to this point, pride becomes the unscaleable wall between them. They have lost the vision of Christ and His church in their union. I’ve developed this reflective study to help a couple in this situation to tear down that seemingly insurmountable wall. Read. Watch, or Listen:https://lifeovercoffee.com/here-is-practical-help-to-restore-a-broken-marriage/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

The cross of Christ has wonder-working power. It can change you and your relationships, but the process is not a passive “let go and let God” exercise. If Christ’s cross is not a practical governing reality in our relationships, we will hurt those we love the most. Though the cross of Christ is not the whole gospel, it’s a poignant reminder of the sacrifice needed to sustain a relationship with someone. Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/something-must-come-between-us-or-were-going-to-kill-each-other/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

No human has absolute authority over another. This perspective should be common sense, but it’s not for everyone, including Christians. A dictatorial husband and father can put wives and children in a difficult spot, which begs the question that folks have asked me for decades: “Do you think it’s right to correct my authoritarian husband?” This chapter will be instructive and directive for those in this type of relationship. Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/do-you-think-its-right-to-correct-my-authoritarian-husband/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Shows Main Idea – EMDR stands for Eye-Movement Desensitization Reprocessing Therapy. Though it has been around for decades, it has gained a lot of momentum within Christian circles in the past few years. In this episode, Rick interviews Dr. Rhenn Cherry, a professor at Midwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. He explains the history, the suggested benefits, and how the Bible has more effective answers. Watch or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-535-understanding-emdr-with-dr-rhenn-cherry/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Sexual intimacy is one of the quickest indicators that reveals how a couple is doing in their marriage. Why? Because it is the most physical and intimate thing they will ever do together. It is different from talking, dating, dinner, or a movie. Sex requires more. Sex demands more from two people. You can do many things as a married couple and even pretend to get along, but sex is the litmus test that reveals the authentic reality of your covenant. Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/sex-for-a-woman/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Show Main Idea: A God-centered community provides mutual accountability, encouragement in truth, and prayerful support, helping us to walk in freedom from approval-seeking. Through active support, we can uplift others in their journey to live for God’s approval. This lesson also explores practical ways to keep Christ at the center of our fellowship through serving others and finding joy in God’s truth together. Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-535-fear-of-man-cultivating-a-god-centered-community/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Most relationships begin with transparency, honesty, courage, and optimism. At some point, these things break down. The husband and wife drift from each other, and silence ensues. Even the best intentions derail if the couple does not know how to keep the transforming power of the gospel as the animating center of their relationship. Let me explain. Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/do-you-know-what-your-wife-is-thinking-2/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Every home has a leader. Someone must be in charge while everyone else follows the de-facto leader. I’m speaking of hierarchy in relationships, not the equality among fellow image-bearers. These concepts work together, not creating tension but fulfilling the possibilities of a God-centered home. As you think about your home, how would you define the orientation? Who is in charge? Who is the rightful person to take the reins of your family? Who do you want to lead? Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-orientation-of-your-home-follow-the-leader/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Show Main Idea: We dive into understanding our identity in Christ, finding security in God’s provision. Through practical steps—confession, renewing the mind, and embracing the fear of God—we’ll learn how the Holy Spirit empowers us to live with freedom from human opinion. With a renewed perspective, we’ll discover how to walk confidently in God’s approval, anchored in His truth. Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-534-fear-of-man-steps-to-overcome-approval-addiction/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

How do you know when a desire for love has changed into a need for love? It’s an excellent question, and the first place to begin a diagnosis like this is with anger. Anger is the quickest way to discern if someone’s craving for love has jumped from a desire to a controlling need. It is not necessarily wrong to desire something like love from another, but when a desire becomes all-controlling, we’re in the deep weeds of relationship trouble. One of the ways you will know if your desire for something has taken over control of your mind is if you become sinfully angry when someone does not meet that desire. This concept applies to any desire you may have. Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/his-needs-her-needs-arent-real-needs/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Even with the best intentions and truest love, a marriage can go to some dangerous and dark places. Ours went there, which is why I decided the best thing we could do is blow up our marriage, reboot, and start over again, hoping to rebuild our covenant on a surer foundation. A caveat may appropriately modify the seeming hyperbole you just read. Lucia and I have always been best friends. From the moment we met on July 24, 1994, we clicked. There was hardly a time we didn’t enjoy each other. Though we did have a few common interests, more things were uncommon between us, which I believe is vital for two people to maximize all that God would have them to be. Initially, our differences did not matter because of our desire to be together, even though some of them were starkly antithetical. Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-day-i-intentionally-blew-up-my-marriage/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.c

Show Main Idea: This lesson reveals how God’s unconditional love frees us from the trap of seeking human validation. By renewing our minds with Scripture, we cultivate a mindset rooted in His grace. Through practical steps and reflection, we learn to make daily decisions that honor God, prioritizing His glory over human opinion. Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-533-fear-of-man-reorienting-your-focus-pleasing-god-over-man/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

The best marriages are those where the distinct uniqueness of each partner works in a beautiful symmetry that enhances the other’s strengths while compensating for the weaknesses. The worst marriages are those partners who do not know how to help each other become a mature picture of Christ and His church. Their strengths do not support the other spouse, while their weaknesses become annoying interruptions. Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/let-me-draw-you-a-picture-of-a-marriage-in-trouble/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

If you could live your life over again, how would you live it differently? What values would you instill to give yourself a meaningful life? What if you could instill those values now? An excellent way to think about these things is to ask someone—people farther down wisdom’s road than you are. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/three-life-choices-you-dont-want-to-miss-before-you-die/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Show Main Idea: This lesson examines how a misplaced desire impacts our identity, breeds insecurity, and prevents genuine spiritual growth. Through practical self-reflection and biblical insights, we begin learning how to discern this idol, redirecting our hearts toward God’s approval as the true anchor of our identity. Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-532-fear-of-man-understanding-the-root-of-approval-addiction/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/

It is easy to make a decision when things seem clear and the future appears bright. With an optimistic heart, you decide on that thing, only to discover months or years later that it may not be wise to do what you did. What if that decision was to marry someone that you now believe was the wrong person? Sometimes, you cannot redo what you believe is a wrong decision. What are you supposed to do now? Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/i-think-i-married-the-wrong-person/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Shows Main Idea – Meet Al Haywood, a counselor and pastor from northeast Georgia who has dedicated his life to shepherding others in their walks with God. Al, a Mastermind student, has been using Life Over Coffee’s resources to guide not only his own friends but also fellow pastors in the area. Through the Mastermind Program, he’s gained new biblical tools and insights that are transforming his counseling, ministry, and partnerships with other leaders. God has been at work in incredible ways, and we recently had the privilege of sitting down with Al to hear how the gospel-centered training he’s learned are bearing fruit. Listen in as he shares his journey with our Mastermind Program and the powerful impact it’s having on his community. Don’t miss this inspiring conversation about God’s work through Life Over Coffee’s resources. Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-530-al-haywoods-journey-with-life-over-coffees-mastermind-program/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone?

Every person has two heads. The human community is a world of two-headed people. James called our common-to-man predicament double-mindedness, just one of the characteristics that comes with our Adamic packaging. At times, we think and act one way, and at other times, we think and act like a different person. If you find yourself occasionally oscillating between two or more personalities and unable to find your true north, you're normal. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/how-to-help-a-two-headed-person/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Have you ever tried to be perfect? Is it hard for you to let others know you messed up? Are you tempted to present yourself in ways that are not exactly true to who you are? Maybe when you think about others learning the real truth about you, it strikes momentary fear in your heart. Suppose your spouse brought a friend home unannounced. Does it matter what your home looks like at that moment? Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/torment-is-trying-to-be-perfect/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.