Dumteedum - A Show About The Bbc Show The Archers By Its Fans

G' day from Uluru. Bit late on parade this week as our perambulations continue. Aunty Jean wants your spit for good reason and Roifield says a bong never hurt anyone. Lucy makes an Easter prediction which I doubt will happen as I do not think Helen can do anything without Henry - she could not leave her son with Rob. Listen to the podcast to find out what happens, according to Lucy, whilst the village hall opening is in progress (not Lower Loxley). Glyn Fullelove started talking about belly buttons for some reason - my hearing was distorted by plane noises - but he was going on about inners & outers! Roifield & Lucy disagree over the women in The Archers. I have to side with Roifield as it is the men who are poorly written. I bet Lucy would like to spend time in the lingerie dept at Underwoods - simple jealousy. The missing village shop gossip was also identified - the failing of this Editor has been laid bare for all to see. Bring back the Real Ambridge. Millie Belle provides her usual wonder

On this week’s episode we have calls from: Tiffananda who loves Brian Witherspoon who wonders who the Hilary Clinton of Ambridge is Happy 100 The podcast provided a unique opportunity to hear Shambridges real voice as she joined Lucy & Roifield at the recording which opens with the live rendition of Dum Tee Dum. Lucy gave us her usual brilliant dissection of the week's events. There are cast contributions; some special Shambridge inserts; plus a range of celebratory calls, comments and emails. What prevents more people calling? Shyness shouts the lady in the audience! In contrast Shambridge revealed some nervousness at talking to a microphone without a script! 80 minutes of fun to be heard. No prior DTD, the Archers or podcast listening experience needed. Kosmo Vicky Cole who wants a home birth rant Andrew Horne who says hurrah for Henry New York Nigel, Blithe Spirit, Andrew White, Felistee, Jacqueline Bertho, Aunty Jean, Susan Rae who are just generally lovely! And a special message...

This week is Lucy's week as she follows up Rottweiler like on the now poor handling of events at Blossom Hill Cottage. As my gran used to say, least said; soonest mended. It is very sad that having been handled so well in the build up, the denouement is being handled so crassly. Mooving on, Lucy says Toby sent Kirsty her Valentine's card and that Phoebe probably one to Roy; definitely not Hayley or Lizzie. Lucy also says that Lilian should not be running herself down. And so long as men do not get in Lucy's way she likes having them round. And no-one has told us what breed the new cows actually are - they are cross-breeds. The Holstein Friesians have gone - and now we have something which is cross. Which made New York Nigel cross as well as agreeing with Roifield. Josh is the 'teens version of Tom with eggs in place of sausages. Meanwhile Johnny has taken on the Phil (originally, later John) role of being the ladies man. And finally there were several mentions of work for Kosmo but it never... &#

Roifield returns as the straight guy to guide Lucy through the comical world of a week in Ambridge; unbearable Ursula sleeping in a nonexistent bedroom at Blossom Hill Cottage, wacky baccy Wayne baking at the Bull, Bert the builder & his egg-mobile barouche, Johnny and his chick collection plus Brookfield at Borchester market. Ro.i.field feels Lucy should stop worrying about how quickly Ed recovered from his crack cocaine addiction; Roifield also likes "Brief Encounter" because it has resonances for him whilst Lucy retains her non-belief in romance of any description. Lucy even dreams about the Archers these days with Helen Baxendale playing Helen Titchenor. One poorly plotted Friday transmission has destroyed the hard work on the Rob/Helen storyline. Roifield and Lucy have recognised that it is now pantomime (oh no it isn't, oh yes it is). Roifield then loses it with a lengthy diatribe over how dumbfounded he was by this twist in events and dropped his bacon sandwich. Derek has planned the live DTD

Sitting in for Roifield this week is Yokel Bear who hails from a modest Thames Valley town that shall not be named; Jasper Fforde has magnificently recorded the environs and those curious to know more should look online. Another majestic performance from a new presenter. And Lucy seems to welcome changed company in Derek's back bedroom. This was recorded before the thrilling developments on Friday when Rob taught Henry about obedience and so, in line with my usual summary approach, that storyline will not be mentioned again too much. However, Yokel Bear has listened to proceedings this week and is not perhaps quite as upset because the Paul Trueman fundraising mentioned last week (nearly £60k) has brought good out of fictional evil, so redressing the mental harm to listeners. It did not take long before our hosts strayed from The Archers. Yokel Bear had geese or ducks on the railway line and then stayed in a haunted hotel in Taunton, although he did not hear the late piper. Meanwhile Roifield... &

We interview Paul Trueman about the Just Giving campaign for Helen Titchener. https://www.justgiving.com/helentitchener Podcast guest this week is Paul Trueman, a 10 year listener, who was "switched on" to the real life abuse suffered by Helen Walmsley-Johnson writing in the New Statesman together with Helen Titchener's failure to get an afternoon out with Henry (which is lucky as no steam railways are running midweek at this time of year - so he would not have had a ride). Paul set up a "Rescue Helen" fund on Just Giving with the money raised going to Refuge. At the time of writing the fund is close to £50000 in just over a week. Lucy is enjoying Brian at present - particularly when Lilian extended her residence at Home Farm in front of Justin. Brian has not got a leg to stand on and Jenny is exerting her dominance over Brian! Is she abusing him? The entertainment factor was lifted by the return of Kate who has no control of her budget. Lucy admitted to being drugged up - on painkillers and... &

This week we heard a number of new callerinerers rising out of lurkdom and contributing to the discussions and provoking comments from our hosts. Not all of them disclosed their real life occupation. But many dumteedogs were named. Meanwhile the steady repatterning of activities in the village means that we are moving back in the direction of characters leading the action with issues hopefully being relegated to a lesser level. For example the wedding story reminding us of Emma's insecurities and demonstrating Kirsty's ability to cope with almost anything which arises. This is where The Archers should be and we obviously hope it will continue. The one character losing the plot is still Pat who seems to have gone completely deaf and blind over her daughter. Lucy knows that Lilian did not smoke in the kitchen at the Dower House so would not do so at Home Farm - and Jenny would certainly not let her. Roifield lectured us all on just how good the 70's were - mainly because of the excellent music which... &

This week Roifield is in wonderful San Francisco with a local version of Barwick Green. Both Lucy and Roifield retailed overheard stories to commence the levity this week. Lucy gets around on a Hoverboard apparently - she finds getting to the park difficult. She does do a very good impersonation of teenage boys. Inheritance of Brookfield was discussed. What worries me is that once she becomes Pip Holman and inherits running the farm (if not the owner) will the programme be renamed The Holmans? Or unlike Helen will she keep her own name and bank account? Yokel Bear is listening again - to the podcasts - but only to the real Archers ignoring that storyline! He reckons that The Archers is generally back on form. Callers have to name their dogs so that they can become official #Dumteedogs. Opinions on the Fairbrethern remain divided. Some could not care less; others are enjoying the "posh boys learn about farming story". Josh is just considered laughable. Shula was slated to marry Nigel but Lucy... &

The headline gives it all this week - we all want to know how and why Ian is going to work his way out of his current impasse with his life partner and his best friend in the village. Lucy believes that Ian would normally talk through his problem with Adam using his normally calm approach to resolving difficulties. Ian obviously cannot think about matters clearly or see a way forward and bringing a reconciliation of all three parties over (hopefully) the near future will prove instructive for listeners. Andrew White from Portland, Maine was making his first call and he has a Jean Harvey fan club which Lucy is glad to know exists. He did not disclose his occupation. Vicky from Cambridge was also a first time caller and she likes Charlie Thomas and she thinks he will stay as well as asking why all the new men are wrong 'uns (Rob, Alex, Toby and/or Rex et al). She buys toilet rolls. I was not the only one who spotted the frisson between Hayley and Roy - thank you Vicky Cole. Lucy does not believe she...

Andrew Horn returns as Roifield has headed off to Canada. Andrew Horn caused a heart attack as he repeated comments I had made in another forum about the anaerobic digester and the rest of Berrow Farm - I covered all of this in umra and I agree it was important. Andrew also raised the paternity test - I went back to the recording to prove that Dr Locke had indeed taken the DNA sample. What the programme needs is an archivist who knows what is going on and checks the continuity. There was no "DNA Tester" as credited it WAS Dr Locke. Allan Carr, sorry R Brown, did a first time call in. He liked last week's Archers with three heartwarming couples interacting. The Brian / Jenny conversation was particularly liked. Andrew found David annoying this week for being sulky. For Andrew and / or Lucy's benefit historically Jennifer was a trained teacher well before she became pregnant with Adam - she went to West Midlands Training College in Walsall. It is now part of Birmingham University. Lucy reveals...

Another bout of exquisite commentary on our favourite radio fly on the wall document as our hosts return from their Christmas break. Following Lucy's entertaining exposition of the events in the last two weeks Roifield provides a diatribe (from Canada) on the content of the anniversary show - all agree the subject matter needed to be covered - but it was the wrong subject for the episode concerned especially given the promotion the episode was given by some mysterious marketing department seeking listeners as so many have been lost by a particular story. The recently published character appearance statistics are discussed and the transition to the next generation is under way with Pip being the second most heard person this year. More of the younger generation need to come to the fore in the next 12 months. Andrew Horn asks for the Kosmo view on the Brookfield changes. Kosmo thinks that spring calving is nonsense because of the spring lambing; birthing both at the same time is going to lead to some... &#

A bumper Christmas present arrives out of the ether, just about midnight, in Abu Dhabi whilst waiting to board the Dreamliner home. Huge Christmas good wishes are present throughout the podcast to listeners, workers, shirkers & callerinerers. Oddly no-one expressed any real surprise that the wedding went ahead. Less surprising is the way many of the sufferings of the last year have been magically "kissed better". The Grundies are home with the turkeys all sold, Pip and Dan have pulled crackers, the happy Snell family are all home, Susan is no longer over exposed and we think Route B has been cancelled, but is Roy divorced? I agree with Roifield, many businesses have December year ends. Other businesses make decisions in December as they take 3 months to implement. So there Lucy; although we are pleased that you will emerge from behind your massive teapots. And if you thought David's decision was big wait until you hear this week's big decision! I remain unsure if Roifield ought to be called out..

A special this week revisiting the best of the last year with Lucy corpsing over Roifield being a Duffus whilst he repaid the compliment over Lucy and her bollocks. Plus all your favourite contributors get a word in edgeways including Graham Seed. Millie Belle is going to get blown away and your summariser wishes you a Merry Christmas! Kosmo A Festive Dumteedum, some of the best best bits  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Barwick Green rang out across the swimming pool in Thailand, courtesy of the Mid Sussex Brass Band, including the Doom section! Lucy noted that Ruth is keen on cows and life again (on the other side of the world) whilst David is on the point of selling them and then she quoted an entire "Round the Horne" script. Elizabeth is about to inherit a second of Shula's exes in the form of DDD - the Deadly Doc Dick! Ro.i.field wants a DTD without any mention of Roy & Helen as it is now unbalancing the podcast as much as the original docu-drama, although he had missed at least one episode. The personality transplant fairy is spending a bit too much time in Ambridge with not enough character consistency; this is inevitable on TV but hopefully avoided on The Archers. Homeland was held up as an example to follow. Lucy predicted that Ian and Adam would not get married next week; with the potential for Rob to cause mischief and Charlie's infatuation with bollocks, at least I think that is what she said. And we al

Lucy has reached the point where she has disassociated herself from the entire Rob and Helen storyline. It has been dragged out for far too long in atrocious detail and consequently like the flood has completely unbalanced the entire docudrama and the remaining village inhabitants are not getting a fair share of the microphones. As a result the Fairbrethern end up being treated like Pinky and Perky (or Sesame Street) thinly drawn characters compared with the Dostoevsky-like excellence contained in the abuse story. And Lucy is equally upset at the poor treatment handed out to Joe - the real world does not work like that. Historically stories would usually be well researched and managed by the team via the editor - but currently there are so many loose ends a lot does not make sense. This theme recurred in a number of calls. Jim discovered that the flood assessments for Route B used the wrong hydraulic model in the light of the flood and therefore the assessment needed to be done again correctly. A...

Roifield returns but awesome Andrew Horn has become the Terminator and he WILL BE BACK. Dumteedummer of the week is Aunty Jean repeating herself from last week. Lucy translated the Archers into Peanuts characters this week. Discussion revealed an Archers event in Bristol which indicated that Rob and Helen may well continue into 2016 despite earlier thoughts it would finish at Christmas. The writing team have once again been unable to cope with the balance needed by different stories - too much weight given to abuse of Helen whilst the Grundy homelessness has been given short shrift. This happened before when Adam was kidnapped and other stories were neutered. Roifield sought calendar contributions of suitably arranged, tasteful, photographs with any funds from the calendar raised going to Refuge. Lucy offered Christmas cards signed by either Derek in the back bedroom or Sabrina Thwaite after proof of a donation to Refuge. Absences and staying in touch. Soon after completing this summary I shall be...

Sponsorship this week from UrbanSprawl.org.uk and Barwick Green by Aunty Jean plus William the parrot who was upset at not being included last week. Andrew Horn was sitting in for Roifield, providing he did not do it as well as the man himself. Lucy nailed Ruth's stroppiness - pointing out that she has just dropped over 30 years and turned into a teenager. And Jenny's old kitchen has finally found a home in the village hall. How long has that story been maturing? Opinions on Lynda swing violently depending on the time of year. Much praise for Tony for standing up to Rob. We are reminded of some back stories this week - particularly Helen's illness when born and how she weak was then leading Pat to being particularly protective of her daughter and therefore siding with Rob over the danger of driving, bearing in mind the last accident involving Mike. Roifield was given a long task list, Andrew is on the Colombian free trade and he was joined by Lucy. Andrew also revealed the secret life of a... &nb

DumTeeDum opened with a recording from the DTD get together at the weekend where many podcast listeners gathered and both Lucy and Roifield recalled various encounters and non-encounters during the evening. Apparently even some lurkers were outed - and must now call in. Ruth's constant moaning is getting everyone down - especially the way that Jill is being used by the family - at 85! Lucy attributes it to misguided guilt - but I reckon it is just mis-use of the character. Yes Ruth deserves some sympathy - but she needs to get involved and talk to David - it works both ways. Comparisons of Ruth's behaviour to Rob are also growing, particularly over her lack of loyalty to David. Speakpipe is working again. Lucy thanked all the DumTeeDummers for their excellent online behaviour - all the best listeners are here. And it appears that they are all extremely glamorous as well - just as well I was not there! Lucy was obviously still feeling delicate - no alcohol this week - just water and tea! Millie provided...

Lucy revealed she will be coming to the DTD “dinner” in a blouse and nothing else apparently. Reports awaited. There may still be opportunities to join the party. Lucy has abandoned double entendres in favour of single ones – dumbing down for the masses! Kate Unwin is a new listener and first time callerinerer who phoned in because Roifield had told her to do so – the power he wields! She knows Annabelle Dowler having worked with her and Kate has also been appointed as a new member of Roifield’s wonder women! Lucy also has a new member of her posse. Scruff is haunting Angus Haggis, whilst Witherspoon and everyone else is glad that Jill is returning to Brookfield given the poor writing over the ineptitude of the Brookfield residents to undertake any housework ever. Mark my words there will be Grundies at Bridge Farm by the New Year when the Sterlings decide not to return from Italy. Deborah predicted this as a tweet but I don’t think Oliver will die...  See a

This week Peter Stirk sponsored the podcast on behalf of WaterAid – please support them. During Lucy’s monologue I think she implied that Miranda is not funny – so I am not the only one. Ed needs luck and some financial collateral. Lucy has forgotten that Helen saw Ian a few weeks ago when the coven were meeting at Gay Grables, although he has vanished since. The South Kensington Lycee always had the best looking girls when I lived in the area – and Roifield confirmed that little has changed! Roifield also highlighted (thank you) the way Kenton suddenly recovered his mental health – an unbalanced approach by not treating the story with equal handedness. Can the New Year bring more equal treatment to all stories please? Lucy has promised to arrive at the DTD meal in Lady Godiva style having confirmed her assets are in good order. Meanwhile Millie Belle has discovered boffing. The last 20 minutes is the story of Amy Gilbert:...  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and