Rnz: It Takes A Village

Being a grandparent is a wonderful role. All care and no responsibility, as the saying goes. But these days many grandparents are involved in helping raise their grandchildren, to support working parents. Dr Tessa Grigg is the co-author of a new book for grandparents - a guide to helping bring up well rounded, emotionally balanced grandchildren - even if you only look after them a few hours a week. It's called Grandparenting Grandchildren: new knowledge and know-how for grandparenting the under 5s.

Parenting tweens and teens can be difficult territory to navigate, even more so in a pandemic when a life lived online is accentuated. Clinical psychologist Jo Lamble and Family GP Ginni Mansberg are riding out Covid restrictions in New South Wales. They have combined their years of experience working with families to write a practical parenting guide - The New Teen Age - how to support today's tweens and teens to become healthy happy adults. It is specifically designed for parents, step-parents and carers.

As any parent of a new baby knows, sleep can be elusive and the abundance of advice about it can be overwhelming. Sleep specialist Dr Bronwyn Sweeney shares some insight.

Imaginary friends - why do kids have them and what do they mean? We're still not quite sure, psychologist Sarb Johal tells Kathryn Ryan, but it's very common and usually nothing parents should worry about.

All kids have angry reactions, and most parents can largely accept these when they can see the cause. But some kids seem to explode for no apparent reason. What's going on? And how can parents and caregivers respond? Such kids are often feeling a painful ambivalence about love and attachment, says parenting coach and educator Joseph Driessen. Parents of these kids need to upskill on how to help them heal, he tells Kathryn Ryan.

It's a trend on the rise around the world - in the UK research into the "boomerang" phenomenon found two thirds of childless single adults aged 20 - 34 had either never left or moved back into the family home due to a precarious job market and sky high rents. A Victoria University study last year into what happened during the main lockdown in New Zealand found 38 per cent of 18 - 24 year olds moved back in with one or both of their parents. So what happens when your kids have flown the nest - only to return? Or if they end up staying on while they undertake tertiary study or training? What are the house rules? Kathryn is joined by Jenny Hale, a Senior Family Coach at Parenting Place.

Closed borders in the last year or so have forced many people to have enforced long periods away from loved ones living overseas. Researcher, writer and anthropologist Helen Ellis knows all about having geographically scattered relatives. Three of her four children, and five of her six grandchildren, live in America, England and Scotland. In non-Covid restricted times it would be a 16 to 30 hour flight to visit them. Drawing on her personal whanau situation and research - her book Being a Distance Grandparent addresses some of the issues and struggles when family life is so spread out. This includes attending an international wedding via zoom.

Research has underlined the importance of parents and teachers working together to help their children do well at school. The partnership is increasingly being emphasised in education policy, and by Māori, Pacific peoples, and parents of children who need learning support. Recent reports also show teachers want to connect more with parents, but lack the time and resources. Senior Researcher at the New Zealand Council for Educational Research, Mohamed Alansari joins Kathryn to discuss.

Stuttering is a normal part of learning to speak, particularly when a pre-schooler's language abilities can't keep up with what they want to say. Most children outgrow this phase but for some, the struggle to get words out continues. Wellington Speech and Language Therapist Christian Wright has advice for parents and teachers.

How and when do children become left handers or right handers? Christchurch based educator, speaker, author and founder of Moving Smart, Gill Connell, says coordination in learning is vital to how the brain develops, determining how children think, feel, behave and learn. She talks to Kathryn about the physical activities that can help with coordination.

When Jo Hayes came to New Zealand from the United Kingdom 18 years ago, she didn't intend to stay. But fast-forward a few years and she found herself living north of Auckland with two pre-schoolers and missing her family back home desperately. By chance she met Susan at her daughter's daycare - she was there picking up her grandson. The pair became friends, and Susan became "Granny Susan" to Jo's children. From that grew the idea for Grandfriends an organisation linking up families with no support around them, and older people wanting to lend a hand.

Katie Fitzpatrick is an associate professor of education at the University of Auckland and the lead writer of relationship and sexuality education curriculum policy. She says more emphasis and time needs to be devoted to the mental health, sexuality and wellbeing of students from primary to high school. Dr Fitzpatrick talks to Kathryn about why health education is the poor cousin of numeracy and literacy.

Kathryn checks in on a parenting programme pilot in Nelson set up to help new fathers. The free 10 week course is available to all new dads, step dads and also includes men awaiting the birth of their first child. It is part of a Ministry of Social Development WhÄnau Resilience programme and is run by family violence specialists SVS - Living Safe in partnership with Perinatal Support Nelson. Aaron Agnew is the course facilitator.

Kathryn speaks with Dr Maysoon Salama, whose storybook for children Aya and the Butterfly is a new picture book to help young children come to terms with grief, cope with change, and build resilience. Dr Salama lost her son Atta Elayyan in the Al Noor mosque attack in Christchurch a little over two years ago.

Parenting coach and educator Joseph Driessen with guidance on how to build a secure attachment relationship with your child. He says a well functioning trusting bond between a primary caregiver and child is essential to healthy development.

Sue Blair has been working with families for nearly 20 years as a family coach and parenting skills educator and she is also the author of The Personality Puzzles. Her particular specialisation is understanding the personality dynamics within a family. This includes how siblings with the same upbringing can be vastly different to each other and react differently to situations. Lack of understanding can lead to a break down in communication with children of any age, but Sue Blair says teenage years are usually the most challenging. So how can you harmoniously parent within a diverse household?

Parents of teenagers often wonder what has happened to their child's brain. They may be moody, not understanding or appearing to care about consequences, they may struggle to maintain focus, and may be very self-absorbed! Neuroscience educator and parenting expert, Nathan Wallis says during adolescence, parts of the teenage brain are "shut for renovations". He says understanding the changes that are taking place for the adolescent will help parents successfully navigate these important and formative years.

The best way to empower young people is to give them tools to manage their own emotions says clinical psychologist Jacqui Maguire. She's written a children's book When the Wind Blew, which introduces a series of home-based, practical psychological tools designed to "turn down the dial on the fight or flight response".

Senior Researcher at the New Zealand Council for Educational Research Mohamed Alansari tells Lynn Freeman about a survey and research to support rainbow students and communities.

As a society, we expect any meal served to automatically be eaten. But that's not logical to a child with any sort of sensory discomfort around food, says nutritional therapist Judith Yeabsley.