Simple Saturdays

Dearest listeners, today is the finale episode where I share with you my experience of the podcast, answer your questions and sum up the takeaways I hope you have had from listening to the podcast.  Episode topics and related links the start of the blog My C-Section & The Feelings I Was Ashamed to Admit my two main goals with the podcast how the podcast has changed me How To Find Your Enneagram Type (and how it has changed my life) Enneagram 101 (what is it and what are the nine types) anchor words (Bless It and Release It came from Stef Gass) Making life adjustments  looking at decisions through the lens of our resources You Can Simplify Your Life Series our relationship with time Don’t wait for the Golden Years (seeing gold in the every day) growing through turning off the autopilot and taking an opposite action 175. What will your future be? More of the same? Or will you turn off the autopilot? 79. Six signs you are living your life on autopilot (and what to do

Years ago I learned a simple tool that has improved all my relationships. This tool is about looking for the cues that others are giving us - and using those times to connect. They are called Bids For Connection, a Gottman term. I will outline what bids are, ways to respond, and how to simplify the process.  Before we jump in,

We all make assumptions and judgments of others - but did you know there is a bias we have in our judgements? This bias shows up in all of our relationships and it can create an opposition and divide in places we actually want empathy and compassion.  In this episode we explore the Fundamental Attribution Bias, how it impacts our relationships and what to do about it.  As mentioned in the episode, you can find the Spotify playlists here, and sign up for Simple Saturdays here.  Key topics covered in this episode  The purpose of relationships, how this has shifted over generations Relationships and wellbeing: The Havard Adult Development Study  Making assumptions about others Filling in the blanks and mind-reading 199. Mindset traps to be aware of (cognitive distortions that might be holding you back in motherhood and life) Perception is a projection, how our judgements and assumptions can reflect our own struggles and opinions The Fundamental Attribution Bias How we judge the actio

When you think you need all the things and the dream home to be happy.... then you realize you need to shed the weight of 'stuff' and consumerism in order to find yourself and find peace. Renee Benes, of the Unstuffed Podcast, shares some of her story of downsizing, decluttering the closet and what it taught her about herself and her life.    In this episode, we talk about: Renee gave up her dream home to downsize and adopt minimalism The process of decluttering the closet, letting go of those clothes that no longer fit your identity or body How to navigate an appreciation of fashion with minimalism Capsule wardrobes, seasonal clothing, shopping  The influence of social media on us and how it impacts approaches to minimalism    This episode is a portion of our interview, the rest of the interview covers topics such as: Death and loss Raising kids Scarity and abundance  And even kid’s bday presents There is audio and video available for the rest of this fun interview!   

Our relationship to 'enough' can show up in all the areas of our life. Whether we struggle with discomfort, self-worth, setting limits, or offering ourselves more - we all can consider how the concept of 'enough' and 'sufficient' can play out in our minds, hearts and lives.  Key topics in this episode, and related links for more information Enough exercise for this season TRX videos in my workout playlist of videos I used and loved Setting boundaries with our phone Intentional phone habits (episode and worksheets) Having a constant need for comfort Type 9, How the enneagram changed my life Times of parenting that are so difficult and what 'enough' looks like in those seasons Difficult parenting Asking what is 'enough' when decluttering Can A Minimalist Have a Full Kitchen? Til We Have Just Enough Stuff Struggling with moderation and knowing what is too much and what is too little  Hurdles for women really knowing what is enough, for themselves. Relying o

The most common question I get is "how do you balance motherhood, life and work?". We are all seeking to have more balance in our daily lives and make sure we get everything done.  In this episode, I share my struggles with having a toddler and baby and looking for balance in my life. I share the common themes I hear from clients on the topic of balance. And I want to offer you different ways to define balance for yourself.  Main topics covered in this episode (and all the related links you might like): The Life on Purpose Community is open on Patreon Listen to a quick episode about what Patreon is and what to expect from the community Join the community here This month we are covering the topics of balance and moderation How our culture influences our definition of balance, and the societal expectations on moms, working moms and women in general How do you define balance? What has your culture told you about what balance looks like for a working mom? How does the workplace support working moms, wo

There are seasons in life where we feel like we have lost ourselves, especially in motherhood. We might feel stuck and like we aren't enjoying our lives. I want to talk to how we can move 'away from pain' or 'towards pleasure',  and some simple ways we can bring delight and passion into our daily lives.  In this episode, Shawna Scafe, Professional Counsellor and Coach speaks on: The language we use to talk about passionate living, desire, enjoying life, pleasure and callings What I have learned about 'callings' and dreams Times in life we feel stuck and how that can lead to lowered motivation Making decisions from a place of stress Two types of motivation: towards and away 177. Understanding what is motivating you (chasing vs avoiding) 201. Overcoming negative self-talk and to moving towards positive self-talk Book - Pure Pleasure: Why do Christians feel so bad about feeling good?  The way our culture, upbringing and our own assumptions impact how we enjoy our life The discomfo

I am going to stop spreading myself thin across the internet, and I am launching a member community in Patreon called the Life on Purpose Community. I chose this name because I want one of the overall goals of this community to be nurturing YOUR life on purpose. I want to encourage you to have passion in your life and enjoy your life.        In this episode I run through  What is a patreon? Building community and where those efforts are best spent The limits on public content vs private content Creating a space where content can be more unfiltered Being a content creator and having to decide where to spend your efforts Why I chose the name Life on Purpose Community  What exactly to expect in the Patreon If you are interested in the Patreon, learn more about it here.      Full transcript (unedited) 0:08 Hey friends it's Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend a counselor from simple on purpose.ca Welcome to the simple on purpose Podcast. Today is just a quick episode where I want to come in and sh

Negative self-talk can our work-life balance or ability to manage parenting challenges. In this episode, Shawna Scafe, Counsellor and Coach, discusses how to identify common cognitive distortions and challenge them to help rewire your self-talk to be more empowering and motivating.      This episode is a follow-up to the introduction on Cognitive Distortion (Episode 199). Listeners sent in examples of situations in their day where they struggle with positive self-talk. In each example, I point out what cognitive distortion might be at play and offer some questions to open up awareness of other ways to talk to yourself.  Topics and related links covered in this episode normalizing the struggle with self-talk how negative self talk impacts us, vs how positive self-talk impacts us three things to know about how our brain works when it comes to negative self-talk using CBT to reframe self-talk (and cautions about using it as an emotional bypass) 156. 3 things to know about feeling negative emotions

As a way to celebrate 200 episodes and 5 years together, I asked listeners for their questions on any topic. In this episode, I'm answering questions on the most important question to ask when decluttering, abundance vs scarcity mindsets, motherhood stages and seasons, and more from AMA (Ask Me Anything) questions Here are the questions that I answered in this episode, and related links to posts and episodes that you might like: DECLUTTERING 1. What is the most important thing to consider when trying to declutter as an Enneagram type 7? Enneagram 101 (what is it and what are the nine types) Enneagram + Motherhood Series 143. How to let go of IDENTITY CLUTTER 90. Declutter ‘what if I need it one day?’ items from your home with THIS shift 111. Decluttering decisions and guilt [Q+A] 110. Our relationship with stuff, and other decluttering questions MINDSETS 2. How to develop a positive mindset when dealing with a chronic illness or health worries of family members? 3. Did you always have an abund

How we talk to ourselves matters. I was asked to share an episode on positive self-talk and want to open up with a review of the common mindset traps (cognitive distortions) we can have. By noticing these cognitive distortions we can better understand how we might be holding ourselves back and the impact our thinking can have on our lives and relationships. I will share the common cognitive distortions, what they are, and some examples that we might have in motherhood and life.      Topics in this episode and related links you might like: Habit tracking for the new year Habit Change, for Moms Playlist is right here) Positive self-talk consider what story and emotion are you operating from Why it matters what you think (limiting mindsets in motherhood) What are cognitive distortions The negative filter we see things through How cognitive distortions impact our assumptions and view of things  How they impact our behaviours, relationships and lives  Common cognitive distortions

What does it mean to live on purpose? This is a question I get from listeners who want to live intentionally but aren't sure how to apply it to daily life (as a mom, because mom life has a lot of urgency and autopilot wrapped into it).  I want to unpack how I approach intentional living on a daily basis as well as the bigger picture.    This is a listener question: how do we live each day with intention and purpose?  We will cover what holds you back from intentional living and how to get started with simple steps. Main topics covered in this episode (and related links): Feeling unmotivated with life For the mom who is ‘waiting’ for life to happen 177. Understanding what is motivating you (chasing vs avoiding) Feeling swept up in routine and living on autopilot  79. Six signs you are living your life on autopilot (and what to do about it) Deciding you are ready to make a change and pursue intentional living The Making Change Challenge Decluttering the distractions, to make way fo

This is part 2 of the situations that can feel tough around the holidays. We explore how we deal with grief, family dynamics and clashes and ways we can take care of ourselves and look for ways to enjoy what is available to us. Tips from a counsellor to consider for the holiday season.      Main topics of this episode: Part 1 unpacked topics like anticipatory anxiety, routines, loneliness, overspending and transitions  196. When The Holidays Feel Hard (stress, anxiety, loneliness, overspending, transitions)- tips from a Counsellor Dealing with grief over the holidays When you need permission to grieve The 4 tasks of grieving Canadian Grief Support mygrief.ca Family dynamics Owning your own values  149. How to find what matters to you (uncovering your personal values) Family roles  8 common family roles 134. Do you typecast your kids? (Labels + how they impact our parenting and our kids) Boundaries help maintain a relationship vs barriers which block a relationship

I asked listeners to share the tough scenarios they expect to encounter during the holidays and Christmas. I will start with Part 1, going through the themes of scenarios and sharing an idea on a shift you can try to make this season, from a counsellor's perspective.  The goal is to give you some tools on how to handle the reality that life can still be hard and things can feel tough, especially around this time of year.   The interview with Brandi Hofer of Colour Me Happy Community  On Youtube - Brandi Hofer Studios On the podcast - Colour Me Happy Community   Main topics covered in this episode: The expectations of Christmas/The Holidays vs the emotions we carry as humans 156. 3 things to know about feeling negative emotions Anticipatory anxiety, one way to deal with it 174. Christmas hygge ideas + understanding how the window of tolerance impacts your stress in motherhood Tough scenarios during the holidays, lack of routines 115. A Controlling mom, or a capable mom? Oversp

A major hurdle that many of us moms to rest is the underlying belief that we need to 'earn our rest'. In this episode, Professional Counsellor and mom of three unpacks how this belief impacts our abilities to rest well, our relationships and our coping habits.      This episode is in follow-up to Episode 194. I stopped calling myself a lazy mom  In this episode, we discuss topics such as: relaxation vs pseudo-rest, burnout opportunity costs, and how we insert ourselves into the equation 188. Motherhood & Instagram Culture (how online communities impact your motherhood experience) 189. Prioritizing the day: if everything matters nothing matters and how to apply this in motherhood the cultural views on motherhood, being lazy, and earning rest how we apply the logic of 'earning rest', seeking external validation, martyrdom 67. Making motherhood harder than it needs to be (Mom Martyr) 192. Who are you when I’m not looking (internal vs external validation) the escape hatch, dealing wit

Do you ever find yourself trying to rest or relax and get this nagging voice telling you that you are being lazy? As moms, this can be a nightly experience, when we finally get the kids down and would like to unwind. Instead, our R&R gets hijacked by this notion that if we aren't doing chores, hobbies, exercise, etc then we are being lazy.  But, odds are you are NOT a lazy mom, rather you are overwhelmed.      In this episode we cover some of these topics (and related links you might like): The original blog post When I realized I wasn’t a lazy mom, I was just overwhelmed Naming our experience The power of naming our emotions (how affect labelling can improve your emotional intelligence) Societal expectations on moms 188. Motherhood & Instagram Culture (how online communities impact your motherhood experience) Self-definition (limiting identities) 76. Why it matters what you think (limiting mindsets in motherhood) Three ways we are exhausted during the day Physical exhaustion

Words are incredibly powerful, they can communicate exactly what you are thinking, feeling, wanting, needing, in sometimes as little as a single sentence. But that only works when we understand ourselves and have the vocabulary necessary to name our lives. Join me today as I talk about nine beautiful words from other cultures that capture the heart of simple and intentional living and discuss how they can influence your life.     Naming our experience  The power of naming our emotions (how affect labelling can improve your emotional intelligence) 117. Emotional Intelligence 101 (and by Enneagram Type) The Facebook Community Group  Hygge Hygge vs Minimalism Three ways to bring hygge into your daily life 174. Christmas hygge ideas + understanding how the window of tolerance impacts your stress in motherhood 30 Ways to Hygge When It Is Cold Outside   Lagom 164. How I am finding balance in my life this year 189. Prioritizing the day: if everything matters nothing matters and how to app

We live in an audience-performer culture it is hard to know which decisions we are making for ourselves and which ones we are making for others. What you buy differently, how would you spend your time differently, how would you be differently without feeling like the world is watching?     In this episode: The song that started it all: "Who Are You When I'm Not Looking" by Blake Shelton  How hard it can be to 'play' as an adult 126. The Joy of Being Mediocre (hobby without the hustle) Doing things for an outcome Fashion, identity, and societal influences  Simple style posts (capsule wardrobes, 30for30 challenge, dressing your age) Spending habits The Audience-Performer culture of social media  Influencers in the wild (article on it here) What is sacred vs what is for sharing online Our lives as content, for external validation and approval  Being part of society, while also being ourselves 188. Motherhood & Instagram Culture (How Online Communities Impact Your Motherhood

When we think about the motivation we have to take action, we can sometimes take action that is more passive. The type of action that feels productive but doesn't quite move us in a forward direction. This concept from Brooke Castillo contrasts passive action and massive action.    In this episode, I discuss topics such as: How simplifying the home leads to an aim for intentional living living intentionally and overcoming complacency self-motivation and limiting beliefs the concept of passive action vs massive action the discomfort of taking action The upcoming workshop on motivation can be found right here at the Life on Purpose Academy  Related episodes you might like 140. Give your discomfort a purpose #uncomfortableonpurpose 139. Are you TOO comfortable? And what is it costing you? 175. What will your future be? More of the same? Or will you turn off the autopilot? Two Months In To The #onesmallhabit Challenge Sign up for the the Simple Saturdays email (a fun email, twice a month)

This is part two of a two-part series about planning your day. If you haven't listened to part one (episode 189), I highly recommend you do so and then come right back to listen to this one. Join me as I guide you through a typical day in my life as a work-from-home mom. I discuss how I use time-blocking, rhythms and answer your questions .   In this episode I discuss:  My typical weekday  My weekly rhythms for work, home and family Time-blocking  How the changing seasons also change my days Family life, priorities and routines Answering some questions I’ve been asked about planning my days Exercise, laundry, meal prep, groceries, planning the week Derailed plans    All the fun links you might enjoy  Family rhythms (setting your own, and worksheets) Family Rhythms + free worksheet Planning the week with your partner What happened in my marriage when we started weekly calendar meetings Exercise for wellbeing 184. Movement as self-care (exercise for wellbeing, not weight lo