Love Life With Matthew Hussey

  I made a colossal mistake the other day on national television. Want to hear the embarrassing story? I’ll tell you in this episode. Not just because I’ve gotten good at laughing at myself for moments like this (though I have – and that’s one of the lessons here), but because it will teach you 3 crucial things to spare you from hurt next time you make a mistake. (Which you will. Because you’re human.) And how do you deal when other people think you’re a screw-up? I give you one amazing piece of advice on how to prove them wrong. 

There are few things in life that hurt worse than loving someone who doesn’t love you back. It can make you question your own value: If someone I hold in such high esteem doesn’t think I’m worthy of a relationship with him, then something must really be wrong with me. In today’s LOVE Life, I’ll help you understand why this isn’t true, and we’ll take a look at some of the real reasons why it didn’t work out. I’ll also give you my best advice on what to do while your heart is healing and how to know for sure when the right person for you comes along.

Contrary to popular belief, arguments themselves aren’t what damage relationships; it’s the amount of time that we take to recover after an argument. But no matter how compatible you are with your partner, disagreements are inevitable. So today, I’m going to teach you my secret weapon to end an argument as quickly as possible using six powerful words. When you say these, you’ll immediately switch from being adversaries to teammates and get right into solving the problem…so you can shift your focus from fighting to the fun part: making up.

You broke up with him…and broke his heart. But time has passed, and now he wants to try to be friends. You miss hanging out and having a laugh with him, so what’s the harm? After all, you’re totally over those romantic feelings. The problem is, he isn’t. Is this “friendship” a good idea? What if he has ulterior motives to try to get back together? That’s what our caller, Tyrie, wants to know in today’s episode of LOVE Life. Whether you’ve been on one side of this relationship or the other, I know you’ll relate to the “friends with an ex” dilemma too, so be sure to listen in for my advice on how to handle this situation with honesty and compassion so no one reopens the wounds of the past.

  We all do it: Make To-Do lists a mile long and then tell ourselves we’ve had a productive day if we’ve checked off a bunch of “stuff” before our head hits the pillow. But is that really the measure of a significant life? In today’s episode I argue that working hard doesn’t necessarily equal growing, and accomplishing tasks doesn’t necessarily equal real accomplishment. I offer a different way to look at your “to-dos” and suggest a series of questions you can ask yourself to ensure you’re getting the balance and sustainable success that brings true meaning to your day – and your life.   

Stop everything and listen to this episode right now. In it, I’m going to give you a quick tip that will get you immediate results with that nagging “to-do” you’ve been putting off forever. (You know which one I’m talking about.) Overwhelm has stood in your way of accomplishing something important for way too long, and today we’re going to “break the seal” and just start the damn thing. OK? OK! Hit “play” and let’s go…

So you’ve got strong feelings for a guy… He’s funny, he’s handsome, he’s kind, but there’s just one tiny problem: he just so happens to be your good friend’s ex-boyfriend. What do you do? Is it possible to date him and NOT screw up your friendship forever? In today’s episode, we look at the two issues at the core of this tricky dilemma, and I give you the only solution that could possibly make the situation work. I even hand you a script you can use to talk it out with your BFF that might just get her on board with the idea so you can actually have it both ways. (You’re welcome.)

Should you be ashamed of The Booty Call? If you’re just having fun, and you’re really ok with a casual fling, then I say, go for it. The problem is, there’s often more going on behind this so-called “arrangement” – feelings, expectations, unexpressed hopes…and emotional issues that run very deep. Who’s to blame when the balance of power goes awry? And what should you do if you decide you want more? We unravel this sticky entanglement in today’s LOVE Life, and I help you decide if your Booty Call really makes you happy, or if you should hang up on him for good.

As someone who gives love advice for a living, I’ve heard it all. Or so I thought… until I got this insane email question from a listener. Now let me clarify that the question is gross not in a raunchy way (although there is a sexual component to it; nothing too scandalous)… but because of the self-centered, transactional nature of the relationship it depicts. At this point you’ll probably tune in because I’ve piqued your curiosity, but I encourage you to listen because there’s a lesson we can all learn here about – if nothing else – what NOT to do in a healthy relationship.

Ok, here’s the formula to calculate the time it should take to get over your breakup: Grab a pen. I’ll wait…OK, now add the number of months you were together, and divide it by the number of fights you had about getting married and then… Come on, you know as well as I do that there’s no magic number when it comes to grieving the loss of your ex. But there IS a secret to lessening the pain and moving on to an exciting new beginning. In today’s episode, I tell you how.

“Be yourself.” To most people, this means, “you’re perfect, just as you are.” (Or, at worst, it’s considered a harmless cliché.)  But I believe this is awful advice, and in today’s LOVE Life I’m going to tell you why.  By the end of my rant – ahem, by the end of this episode – you’ll discover the mindset that will actually allow you to stretch beyond the “you” you always have been, and to grow, achieve, and become the absolute best version of “yourself.”

“There’s so much PASSION with this new guy I’m dating! We can’t keep our hands off of each other!” “I just want a job I can feel PASSIONATE about…” People throw around the “P” word every day, and it certainly sounds like something to strive for. After all, you should feel strongly about the important things in life, right? Well, in this episode of LOVE Life, I share my opinion on the topic of passion. It’s slightly controversial, but I think you’ll agree with me when you understand my reasoning behind it. So let everyone else chase the “sugar rush” of passion. Meanwhile, you can pursue something worthwhile that actually lasts.

Ok, you’ve got a million things to do today, and you’re not going to rest until you get it all done. So you work and you grind and you keep checking off your list until…you just hit a wall. You’re out of energy, you’re out of motivation, your list is still a mile long and – wait – what? It’s only 11am? We’ve all had days like this, and when they happen, we either a) just give up or b) try to “push on through” to get it all done, at which point we… just give up. Well today’s message is a must-listen, because I’ve got a totally counter-intuitive mind hack that’s going to help you squeeze much more productivity out of a less-than-motivated day. You’ll be shocked to learn what it is. Hint: You may even get to knock off with a cocktail at 4pm.

“Can you make it to my birthday tonight,” asks your friend who’s planned an annoyingly hipster “drinks thing” in a totally inconvenient neighborhood, starting at 11pm on a rainy Friday night when you’re exhausted and all you want to do is go home and binge on Netflix in your PJs. Do you say “yes” to spare her feelings…and bail later? Or be honest up front and risk disappointing her? What about when your boss asks if you can complete that big project by Monday? Do you agree even though you doubt you’ll have the time or the resources to follow through? In today’s episode of LOVE Life, we’re talking about why your word is the most important thing you have, and why the people who count on you will respect you more when you say the difficult thing first rather than let them down later.

I strongly believe we all have the power to create incredible lives. I even designed a 5-day Retreat process that helps thousands of women around the world, twice a year, do it in a radical way. So why am I, of all people, warning you against “following your dreams?” In today’s episode, I explain why motivational speeches and Instagram quotes actually set you up for failure. But don’t despair – I also share the real path to getting what you want most in life. It may not be dreamy, but it works.

Oh, hey, you left something on the table there… it’s ALL OF THE MONEY YOU’RE WASTING by not negotiating for the things you want! I know, it can be intimidating to ask for a discount or a raise, but a confident person knows her worth and speaks up to get what she deserves. Which is why I’m sharing with you today my 3 Insider Tips to Negotiate Like a Pro. I’ll even give you an opening line you can use with anyone to start the conversation off on the right foot, while still making sure YOU walk away on the winning end of the deal. 

Grab a pen and paper, because I’ve got a (fun) little assignment for you today! I’m going to give you a tip that you can use today that will transform the most important relationships in your life, year-round. You’ll be surprised to learn how simple this tiny, yet powerful, action is to implement, and how much it will mean to the people you care about.

You know me by now. So you know that once in a while I just can’t hold back. I have to rant. And today, my friend, you’re going to hear it. We’re talking about holiday travel. Specifically, airline travel. But I’m not going to do that overdone schtick about airplane food or security lines. I’ve got something original to complain about. But you also know that behind my rants I always have a deeper message to share with you. So buckle up and listen in: I’ve got a challenge that will make not only your holiday travel easier, but your whole life more enjoyable as well. 

In today’s LOVE Life, I take a question from a caller named Crystal who wants to know why she’s 28 and can’t seem to find long-term love. I catch her off guard with a few unexpected questions, but before long I get to the root of what’s really going on.  I reveal the one essential element that makes men see a woman as more than a friend, and share how to create it even in the trickiest circumstances. If you’re interested in a serious relationship, don’t miss this episode.

Meeting your boyfriend’s family for the first time can feel like a lot of pressure… especially when he saves your introduction for a big holiday get-together. What should you say? How should you act? Should you bring a gift and, if so, what??? First of all: breathe. You’ve got this. I’m going to take you through my simple, 3-step survival guide that will tell you exactly what to do. I’ll also share a secret that will take all of the pressure off. Hint: You actually don’t have to worry about impressing his family after all.