Your Kickstarter Sucks

Listen up, gang. It’s time to describe the episode. This is basically a way of telling you, the listener, what you might be in for when you download or stream this particular episode of the show. First things first: it starts out with the intro song by the one and only Howell Dawdy. From there [...] Anyway, then we end the show. Another instant classic! Hopefully you enjoyed this description and the podcast itself. Because if not, we’ll probably start freaking out and [...] it’ll be all your fault! Ha ha ha. Happy Easter, gang!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium - Farrarch has ended and Gaperil begins! Nah nah nah. No theme months for a little bit. So we’re talking classic YKS Premium - What The Funds, Missed the Cuts, YKScapades and more…all in video and all without the guilt of not watching the garbage movie we’re talking about for 2 hours! Only at patreon.com/yourkickstar

I guess if you think about it, a shrimp kind of looks like a “pew pew”? Isn’t that weird how nowadays we have to have these weird euphemisms for stuff we all talk about all the time cause it’s in the world and that’s the way it is? And we intentionally sound dumber and less comprehensible, trying to outsmart a computer? It’s just odd, I think. And the crazy thing, it’s not even because of woke! It’s because of ads and computer. A combination that we will love for many years to come. On this episode of YKS, it could honestly be anything. It could be about, a, fuckin, water-skiing squirrel. Can you imagine? That would be ridiculous.Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Farrarch continues! Only on YKS Premium! Skate on over and sign up today to hear the big Farrarch finale, with the one and only Asshole McGee! Oh my god I just found out he died. We got Stefan. This episode of YKS is spo

I have cupcake tummy so I’m gonna make this quick. I want you to listen to the show, alright? And I want you to send an email to yourkickstartersucks@gmail.com that says how many times you wipe your butt. And that’s it! Don’t send anything else in there. Just the butt-wipe thing. I have to throw up a cupcake.On this episode of the show we’ve got one of those things where the guys are trying to sell you the idea that they’re experts in something, but they’ve failed at doing the thing weirdly! Plus we’ve got some flags for rich guys, a little robot it would be fun to hate, and some fucking BLAST PIPES! Check it out! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium is GOATED when wanting to listen to more Mike and JF is the vibe! Y’all crazy MFs are getting 5 episodes of Farrarch this month! And if that ain’t enough, there’s other stuff too! Check it out today at patreon.com/yourkickst

Who won? Who was snubbed? Who got up to go to the bathroom and missed their big debut? I’m not sure, I didn’t watch it. But someone should write an explainer of it and tell me! Meanwhile, I’ll be rewatching the only Oscars preview that matters and thinking, “Yep, we really got it right.” Another thing we got really right? Today’s episode! Featuring some bad ideas to put in your mouth, ears, and on your head, we really run the gamut of poorly-conceived cranial accessories. Plus: what’s the perfect amount of chips to eat in a day? The answer may surprise you! And if not please see a doctor. New YKS!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium! Ding ding ding! Come and get it! It’s Farrarch all month long and we’ve had some great guests. And some bad movies. But those probably balance out (?) Our friends DeadBlossomJesse and Charlie McDonnell have been thus far kind enough to make an ap

Don’t be a you-know-what! It’s time to plug them old headphones in or slap em on or listen on speaker while on public transit like a lunatic! On today’s show we have another card game that no one should play for any reason, including on pain of death, or if they’re really bored, a piece of ostensible safety technology that is useless when you think it does one thing, then when you find out it doesn’t even do that, it’s completely incredible, and one that’s actually nice. I won’t say what the nice one is, because basically I’m using a marketing technique to get you to listen to the episode. Studies show this is most effective when you were already going to listen to it anyway, and it’s already on your phone, and you were wasting time reading the rambling episode descriptions for some reason. I read about them. On my sabbatical. Join us in creating a healthier and more equitable future and help us get our show to all! It’s a new YKS!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and

Welcome to Hooterville! That was almost the title of the episode but we already had one with “ass” in it this month and it felt like it would be a little much. Well anyway that’s a little behind the scenes action from your old friends Mike and JF. And as for the Kickstarters this week, well, they’re sure to not disappoint. Sorry this started to sound like ChatGPT a little bit, I’m watching TV and I’m kind of distracted by the bright lights and sounds and stuff like that. On today’s show we’re talking about a pen with a really really really bad name to have, a housing app with another horrible, shitty name, and some kind of fragrance thing with – you guessed it – a name from fucking hell. Didn’t occur to us during the episode that these things are so poorly named, but now having read the entire episode description, you get the benefit of hindsight. And the benefit of hearing the episode! Which you are doing, or will be doing, right now or soon. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr.

Love is in the air! Or it was, anyway, a week or so ago. Because it was that famous day of hearts and candy, Valentine’s. But now we’re celebrating a different kind of love…not romantic love, but rather love for our wonderful presidents of past, present, and future. Which in many ways is even better than finding a partner to share your life and a big box of candy with. Because the presidents are always there, signing documents and so forth. And trust me, a lot of them guys will eat some chocolate with you too. On today’s show, we don’t talk about that stuff at all because we had no idea what day it was. Instead, we got some idiot who wants to fix up a helicopter on my dime, a couple of pieces of crap to tell you what’s going on with your body like you didn’t already know, and a toilet for the UPS guy. Actually I’m joking about that last one but I think it’s a good idea. Those guys gotta whiz and crap! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional rese

Looks like once again Patrick Mahomes is the Super Bowl MVP! It would be kind of funny if I wrote this in advance of the announcement, and I was wrong, and Kansas City didn’t even win. And then you’re reading this like…what the hell! What are they doing over there! Can they do anything right? Haha. Oh yeah they can, they can make me hella laugh, and just vibe…I actually wrote it well after the game ended, though. Because I have an ego the size of a house and I can never be wrong. On today’s show we have a guy using alien technology to look stupid, some 3-D printed stuff that won’t fill the hole in your heart, and – finally – some anti-woke clothing! Big day. Big ep. I’m going to Disneyworld! Nah, nah, nah. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium - I never leave home without it. And neither should you. What if your phone flies out of an airplane and someone picks it up and t

Wait…I thought we just recorded an episode? But that would mean…and if he’s over there…and I’m a notoriously prickly leading man whose tangible lack of enthusiasm for nearly all his work, in combination with rumors of my rather unsavory behavior on set, would be enough to blackball me from the industry? No? Okay well good because we got another in-person 2 hour banger to get through, and I’m not going to let any kind of cyclical karmic time loop stop me! On today’s oddly familiar YKS we got shirts and apples, uncles who shoot, and oh geez, maybe a new segment at the end of the show? I sure hope we have time for it! Plus we got a bible AI app, a reality reprogrammer (just in time) and a strange vacuum cleaner you’ve probably never heard of before. Let your fingers do the talking…to the podcast app, that is, and push them to push it to download it to the phone to listen to the show! It’s a new YKS!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zek

I am calm. I have my egg. I am calm. I have my egg!!! Ahhh!!!! No! I’m not calm! I put too much salt on my food by using a normal salt shaker or teaspoon, I moved and all my junk mail didn’t follow me to the new place, I can’t read 120 pages of a book in a minute, and my laundry isn’t getting clean in my air fryer. This sucks and there’s no solution – I ran out of essential oils to put on my calming egg, which has also stopped levitating slightly in its cradle. So I’m doomed. I guess the only thing that could make me feel any better is over 2 hours of wacky conversational comedy for 40 year olds. But who would be doing that in 2024 but the boys at YKS…Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. To support the show and get more JF and DB content than could possibly be healthy, sign up for YKS Premium today! For just $5 a month you can push play to your heart’s content, and stick it to “Big Docto

Now what do ya get when you cross 2 guys who need the internet to work and live and not go insane, and a series of events that results in both of them having their access to the internet become extremely compromised? Well, you get a very long and very funny episode of their collaborative podcast all about crowdfunding and technology, that’s what! On today’s show, which has been edited to within an inch of its life, we’re talking about the movement that’s on the tip of everyone’s tongues: AI! It seems that Artificial Intelligence has been waiting in the wings for its chance in the director’s chair, and so we get a sneak peek at some of the wonderful films sure to be coming our way soon courtesy of this emerging technology. Plus, a mailbox camera and a toy smoking weed. All that, a few crucial edits, and more on this week’s almost-didn’t-get-there episode of YKS! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Pro

What if Steamboat Willie did a drive-by…? It’s an interesting question that we can now answer definitively, with the help of the American legal system and, presumably, AI. Pull up a chair (or take it off the wall) and throw on some hedgephones…it’s an all-new YKS!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium…it’s the only way you’re gonna get these guys to put out any more episodes! Until they bring back Stitcher Premium, that is.This episode of YKS sponsored by these fine brands:Factor - I’m snowed in, I’m hungry, I definitely won’t be going to any good food restaurants this week. But with Factor, I could care less! These delicious and nutritious meals have me saying “Restaurant Who?!” Try ‘em yourself at Factormeals.com/yks50 and get 50% off! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

DB and JF are back together in the studio (of sorts) once again…and the vibes, as they say, are immaculate. On today’s episode, we got a LIVE update on an old Kickstarter, a new way to play chess, a new way to wash dishes, and a very old way of communing with nature…might as well spit!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. I what YKS Premium! I really what it! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It’s the first episode of the year! And they are all going to be exactly this good. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Want more YKS? You want YKS Premium - It’s very similar to this, but kind of different. This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Rocket Money - Ain’t no WAY you know how much you’re spending on subscriptions. Let Rocket Money help ya out. Go to RocketMoney.com/yks to save a buttload.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Now this is nice. It’s The Christmas Episode! Of YKS. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium…now that’s one gift you won’t need a receipt for! Because we do not give those. They are a waste of paper.  This week’s episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands: Rocket Money - You’re gonna get plenty of stuff you won’t use under the tree and in the stocking. So play it safe with the stuff you do pay for! Stop wasting money on things you don’t use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to Rocketmoney.com/yksIncogni - There’s only one guy who needs to know your name, where you live, and what you like to do online. And he’s already got it on a big piece of paper! So keep the other creeps off your trail, and go “private mode” on life. Get 60% off an annual plan at incogni.com/ykspodSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Noti

Do they know it’s almost Christmas? It’s not clear! Cause these crazy guys spend a whole episode talking about dual screen laptops, kitchen clutter, and adult toys. I hope Santa doesn’t hear!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium - Set someone up for a 2024 full of laughs with YKS Premium - the perfect hall of days gift for the dumb shithead in your life! As long as it’s you. They don’t let you gift subscriptions on there. Smart!This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands: Factor - Studies have shown that this is one of the busiest weeks of the entire year, probably. It’s probably a lot busier than, like, March 1 - 7. I don’t think there’s a lot going on then. So you’re gonna want to get some quick and easy healthful meals you can just grab and go at any time. For that, we humbly suggest Factor. And hey, get some for March, too. Maybe something interesting will h

You look like a monkey…and you smell like one too! And many more!? Is this how we talk to a friend?! My god. Whatever happened to he’s a jolly good fellow. You probably can’t say that anymore. And we all know it’s because of Grok, the new woke AI! Well what else is going on. Says here Mike got his man card revoked on this one…well that’s a fine how do you do. And plus we learn all about our friend Peeping Tom! How nice! Plus, between the last NFT horse limping to the finish line, a pen that you can write on food with, and a floor mat that you can use to open your garage door, I would say that this is an episode to listen to, no doubt about it. So close your eyes, blow out the candles, and here’s your surprise…another episode of YKS!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium…that’s what I’m talking about! For more of your boys, sign up today. And listen to it!This episode of YKS is

Today I was explaining the show to someone who had not heard of it, and most of the time when I do that, I lean heavily on the “scam” aspect of the Kickstarters. It’s definitely subconscious, but I think somehow I feel like that lends a bit more legitimacy to our silly show – almost like we’re doing something in service of the public – so I can imply with a straight face that my job is kind of important. But when it comes right down to it, it’s basically a lot of VR strip clubs and electronic dogs. And Fempots. And that’s okay.  Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium! Now THIS is what pure joy and raw pleasure feel like! Oh god!! This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Factor - 3 meals a day…geez, seems like a lot. Where am I gonna get ‘em all? From a big hole in the floor? And I lift up the floor trap door and there’s some food down there? Where did it

Well it’s Cyber Monday and you know what that means…"every product from every retailer, service, marketplace, subscription platform, independent seller, and payment processor come in with everything for a HUGE sale"! Actually I think we forgot it was Cyber Monday when we recorded this. But still, we managed to discuss a good number of products, including: another cringey party game about getting canceled, a device that will keep your basketball from breaking off the inflation needle and having it rattle around inside the ball, and an actually pretty cool cyber diaper that both hosts wear while recording the episode. One of those is fake but the others are real, and if you want to know which is which, ask David Spade! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. I can’t be the only one who thinks that if these guys got together they could make one of the greatest paywalled bonus content podc

I fell down the steps earlier but don’t worry it was only like 2 steps and they were carpeted. So everything’s fine over here. How is it going with you? Oh, I see. Well, hopefully it will get better soon. Like maybe right after you listen to this episode of YKS featuring: Larry, Curly, and the other guys! Jewelry made from trash but not in the cool way! And projects related to basketball, non-alcoholic beverages, and huge TVs that not even we can support. Can you imagine? They would have to be pretty rank. And they are. Ah well. Time to go back up the carpeted stairs in my very slick socks quite safely and easily. And if you don’t hear from me until Friday, assume the worst! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Ah…this is the timeline in which you subscribe to YKS Premium to get even more of the YKS episodes you love. I like this one…See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy a