Dr. Ross Greene

Lots of callers on today's program, and lots of good information, too.

We heard back from some prior callers today, who gave us updates on how they and their kids are faring with Collaborative Problem Solving. The news is good (but the work is never done).

"Neither snow, nor rain, nor heat, nor gloom of night stays the Parents Panel from completing its appointed rounds." Dr. Greene got stuck away from his office in a snowstorm when the program began, so he conducted this program from his car in a parking lot. Which isn't actually the most interesting part of the February Parents Panel, but does explain the long delay at the beginning of the program. We heard from a father who was having difficulty getting his daughter to participate in therapy sessions, and that was the most interesting part of the program.

What information is most important to focus on when you're trying to understand and help a child with social, emotional, and behavioral challenges? And how does one organize the effort so as to intervene proactively rather than reactively?

How do you make sure your child gets what he needs to help him overcome his social emotional and behavioral challenges? Why does the system sometimes fail to help our kids? Can young kids participate in Collaborative Problem Solving? What if a child is too hyperactive and impulsive to participate in Plan B?

Is Collaborative Problem Solving a good fit for kids with attachment issues? Should the model be modified in any way for such kids? These questions and more on this program.

How do I get my husband (or co-parent) on board with Collaborative Problem Solving? The Parents Panel has some ideas!

The title says it all!

How do you handle a disrespectful kid? The Parents Panel weighs in...and it turns out that the CPS model would view and handle disrespect like any other unsolved problem.

Time-out is, for parents, a very popular behavior management tool. But there are so many things a time-out won't accomplish...in fact, when it comes to understanding and helping your behaviorally challenging child, it's hard to come up with anything productive that a time-out will accomplish.

For lots of folks, one of the great things about this program is that it provides a weekly reminder of the mentality, language, and strategies of the CPS model. This program provides a nice "refresher" on those key themes, accomplished through answering questions Dr. Greene received by email during the past week, including one from a mom whose child had a tough episode at school during the prior week.

Too often...actually, way too often...adults focus on the challenging behaviors a kid is exhibiting rather than on the unsolved problems setting those challenging behaviors in motion. Unfortunately, when we focus on behavior, our intervention options are quite limited. But when we instead focus on solving problems (rather than on the behaviors that are byproducts of those unsolved problems), we're addressing the real issues setting in motion challenging behavior...and when we get those problems solved, we reduce challenging behavior at the same time. This is a program not to miss.

Well, the Parents Panel went off without a hitch today, and the Panel grappled with some pretty important topics. First, we heard from a mom who was struggling with viewing her son's behavior through the lenses of lagging skills and unsolved problems...then we discussed how Plan B can be applied to unsolved problems between siblings. The Parents Panel will be back again next month!

Does Plan B help kids take responsibility for their actions? What does "taking responsibility" mean, anyway? How can parents solve problems with their children without time-outs, reward charts, losing control, and feeling like a terrible parent? Is Plan B a viable option when kids are exhibiting unsafe behavior? What should parents do in the midst of explosions? These, and lots of other questions, were answered during this program.

Dr. Greene answered the following questions in this program: Aren't humans (and therefore kids) really selfish beings who only look out for their own interests? What should I do in the middle of an explosion? What should I do if, even after using Proactive Plan B, my child won't follow through on a solution he's agreed to?

Today was our first Parents Panel program, and it was a nice departure from the norm. The Parents Panel -- three moms and a dad -- gathers on the first Tuesday of every month to discuss their experiences in parenting and living with kids with behavioral challenges. And they'll be back next month!

In today's program, we heard back from the mom who was trying to figure out why her son wasn't receptive to participating in Plan B. The mom followed some of Dr. Greene's recommendations from last week's program, and reported on some small signs of progress. We also heard from a mom who was having trouble understanding why her daughter was well-behaved outside the home but exploding inside the home. Another very informative program!

This was the first program since summer vacation, but we just picked up from where we left off. A mom who was having trouble getting her son to participate in Plan B phoned in, and Dr. Greene helped her think about the different factors that might be getting in the way...and what to do next.

If you're the parent or relative of a child or adolescent with social, emotional, or behavioral challenges, this is the program for you. New to the CPS approach? Just getting started with Plan B? Trying to find time for your other kids when your challenging one demands so much of your energy and attention? Having trouble getting a spouse/grandparents/teachers/coaches on board? This is a great opportunity to call in, ask questions, get the support you need, and or just listen to other parents or relatives who are dealing with similar real-life issues. And, in recorded form, this is a very good way to learn more about the CPS approach. The program airs every Tuesday during the school year at 11:00 am Eastern time. Details at www.livesinthebalance.org.

In this program, Dr. Greene answered emails he's received over the past few weeks covering a wide range of topics, including: the advantages of using Plan B proactively rather than emergently; whether the world mostly demands the skills trained with Plan B or those trained with Plan A; how Plan A tends to cause and perpetuate misery; some tips for making sure solutions are as viable as possible; and whether "willful" is the best way to describe kids with social, emotional, and behavioral challenges. Another very informative program.