Border Boss

Today's episode tackles everything in the First Seven Inch Club extended universe - taco bell lifestyles, joke music, awkward record buying, garfield, the strokes, arts and crafts, all culminating in a discussion of a Boston Hardcore band that usually just gets referred to as a "Boston Hardcore band" whenever they are mentioned online despite sounding absolutely nothing like Slapshot or Negative FX I mean wtf, man... did any of these people actually listen to THE DEDICATION?

To celebrate 50 episodes of more or less being on time, we revisit a Brooklyn Vegan article from early 2022 highlighting 10 hardcore bands they considered viable as the scene's next mainstream big timers. They were rising stars in the dead ass winter... but how will they rank on the First Seven Inch Club Summer Heat Index? https://www.brooklynvegan.com/next-turnstile-10-hardcore-bands-to-watch-in-2022/

We might legitimately become the top google result for this very hard-to-google band. We bring deep content to the web's discussion of late 2000s Chicago hardcore technicians HATE plus the long awaited return of CIGARETTE NEWS which will probably be horrifying and bizarre to non-Border-Boss listeners. Taco Bell chat, Spotify algorithm chat, and Mike innovates a new outro. If we get hit by a bus tomorrow, I'll be satisfied. Not because of this episode or anything, I just think we should get hit by a bus.

This week we talk about TV shows like it's an 1989 workplace then we get HARD POLITICAL so watch yourself. By listener request, we take a sentimental journey to the Albany of the late 80s / early 90s for the soaring-opera-for-dank-punk-clubs experience of the one and only TERROR CAKE. WARNING: We decided on a whim to edit this one in unfamiliar software so if you hear people 3 blocks away eating popcorn and way extra breathing and that's just like... you know... ambient EVP phenoms.

This episode was heavy and I do mean heavy on geography and google maps chat so we brought in someone who used to be local to tell us what all these weird names and numbers actually mean. Certified heavy guitarist SHELBY LERMO helps us get to the bottom of a very early but not at all uncharacteristic record from the very earliest footsteps of underground power-pop sensation TONY MOLINA's path to great fortune. Come on, let's dig the speedy satanic skate-grind of DYSTROPHY together.

Today we examine the early work of some people who went on to become vegan straightedge lifers and, in one case, a minor mall metal celebrity. We also tackle death, brotherhood, and tool mastery. Now that we have cleared up those three topics, there's nothing left for anyone to worry about. Life can just be a warm bath with no pain or fear.

It's an internet comment section where people are arguing about how sarcasm works only it's real life so people are getting punched in the real face and I guess I pretty much just described how fights work except hear me out - while everyone is getting punched, they are preoccupied with internet comment sections. Join us for the irony ouroboros of Philadelphia's nattily dressed provocateurs I HATE YOU.

Today we make the devil's bargain of reviewing a band made up entirely of friends and acquaintances for the first time in First Seven Inch Club history. Hear us sever bonds in realtime and forge hard new grudges even in old age on our puff puff pass journey into the basement venue grow room of long dormant Albany marijuanauts PERMANENT TRIP.

This week we get covered in thick ropey white hot ranch dressing and talk about cinemaaaa before realizing that our Easter promise of a goofy christian metalcore band to DuNk oN is most likely not even remotely christian but they definitely mess with angels and explosions of heavenly guitar heroism. Join us as we battle to see who can doxx Rhode island's DAY AFTER harder.

This week we have an absolutely horrific liveblogged cat food tasting as well as some deeply upsetting Bosstones chat before publicly displaying for the third time how unqualified we are to speak about Japanese hardcore as we mash it up to the woodwind augmented mayhem of Tokyo's COLORED RICEMEN.

Today we finally get the fat skinny on whether Mike was ever actually a boy and also take multiple detours into joke music and horology before devouring the wholesome salad of New Jersey's TORCHBEARER... a band of dangerously modern vintage chronologically but very comfortably 90s vintage sonically.

We get DANGEROUSLY close to modern times with a record that would not even be old enough to get it's drivers license yet - New Jersey's forgotten-by-the-internet PELLINORE. They bring you apocalypse woodcuts, deep comp lit and more... not to mention zine chat, grohl chat, mucky chat... we're 40 today and we brought you EVERYTHING.

This week we unearth a truly scandalous amount of dark web PDFs, sketchy peoplefinder sites, and creepy transcripts to find every private detail of North Carolina posi-core enthusiasm machines REINFORCE and I think as of this posting we will probably become their #2 or 3 google result. Also brief Deadguy "body parts" 7" chat. Buy a shirt, scrubs! We're rich and want to stay that way.

Mike lays it all on the line with his feelings about online record collecting before we dig into the completely assflap free anarcho punk stylings of listener suggested DEARBORN S.S. and I will now listen to input from current trainhopper punks about whether you guys still even know what assflaps are.

This week we talk about cat sandwiches and probe the many (not many) layers of Isla Vista's spear at the heart of emo and phone dialers, OCHRE. Mike also makes the most surprising advertisement which is roughly half the episode and I mean we're all about to be rich so you're gonna be glad about that.

This is it... we finally come to loggerheads about a record. Mike and Scot both see this record for what it is but somehow take away different lessons. We might actually have to pick a spot between Illinois and New York to finally have a fist fight after like 20 years of very neutral friendship. Way to go, 24th Solution. We had a good thing going and you screwed it up.

This week we are joined by a very special guest JONAH BAYER here to discuss the record Jonah by the band Jonah who have nothing to do with him. This episode is strictly by the book, no food chat, no toy chat, no old men kvetching about taxes and interest rates... just ice cold HARDCORE chat.

This week we follow a lead from End On End Podcast's Jeff and tear into the cold 90's thorax of Long Island's simultaneously beloved and forgotten Farkcus Affair. Does spelling have an effect on Longevity? Do all drummers have deep resumes? Would Ashes be better with shouting? Plus we open with some much needed Toy chat only 2 months late for christmas when toy chat would have made some sense.

Mike screws up Scot's birthday.

We are joined by our first very special guest GREY from the Demolisten Podcast as we cut the baloney and get immediately down to the business of being very strong and tough and moshing as hard as possible with what may or may not be Chicago's best-ever tough guy hardcore record from the Harms Way / Weekend Nachos / Fallout Boy Security side project CONVICTED.