Border Boss

It's time once again to start thinking of ways to be more spooky - whether it's communing with suburban witches, collecting low grade serial killers, or waiting to be summoned from your lair in the sewers. And now I see by my shibboleth timepiece that we're just about ready to wrap up our absolutely thorough audit of these 50 states with Louisiana's WE NEED TO TALK.

This week we are wearing only black. Not in mourning, but because we must walk in the footsteps of the goatfathers who came before us in respecting small businesses, cultural foodstuffs, and the chain of provenance of the swords of America. As luck would have it, you can also wear black when slamming to the music of Arkansas such as BURNED UP BLED DRY.

This week we don broad hats and cravats to pass as riverboat gamblers en route to america's most culturally productive delta, hoping the lawless highwayman strategy of putting an entire paycheck on red yields a good result. If not, at least we have the paint-peeling shriek of Mississippi's own ATOMIC JEFFERSON to keep us occupied in our cells.

This week we think about fish made of stone, snakes borne of a toddler's screen time, and the warlike tendencies of nostalgia streamers before finally solving some lifelong mysteries by checking out the hot North Dakota (maybe) sounds of Fargo(maybe)'s own GODHEADSILO.

Gang, it's just storytime this week. You've never heard so many goddamn stories. Plus we're RAPIDLY concluding our survey if American Hardcore by chalking up another challenging state. Perhaps you know these fellas from Mt Rushmore. No the other Mt Rushmore. Wait have you ever even been to South Dakota? STATE OF THE UNION has.

If you thought we were old before, check out today's episode where we discuss the finality and hopelessness of hospice and the sweet sounds of Sting as misinterpreted by booger punks. Eventually we find lots and lots to think about from Philadelphia metallic hardcore pioneers DARE 2 DEFY.

We're back from a very relaxing break to ask very tense and personal questions to famous touring artist and 3-time FSIC guest SHELBY COBRAS. By the unbelievable power of three, we turn the world of podcasting on its head discussing Korn, occult veganism, and the unacceptable place-names of Australia before interrogating some of the rarest death metal on earth from the pursed kissy lips of Vietnam's DISGUSTED.

Why don't you grab a seat there buddy. We need to talk about something and it's kind of important. It's about Mucky Pup. I know, I know... you know all about it from the kids at school. I get it. But we just want to make sure that your first time is safe and... what do you mean it's not your first time? Well did you use a flexi?

This week we are all taking a plane ride to see if any carnies will give us a body massage or at least let us bum an exotic cigarette before putting down our fried oreo pickle poutine long enough to book a train to Oklahoma to catch at least one of the 11 zippy tracks from the presciently non-libertarian THE

Steps away from the finish line on the ROAD to 200, we celebrate the internet past, the internet future, and sophisticated metacommentary on how the internet will be used in the data-beast wars. Maybe the only solution is to retreat to the deep frontier of interior Alaska where all we have to worry about is the gas wars and how to score a room in that one building where everyone lives. Luckily THE CYNICS are statewide nonstop for the last 45 years (we assume).

It's been a rough week and we are rough boys like the sexy legs in the ZZ Top "Rough Boys" video but not like the Pete Townshend Rough Boys because that is still sketchy no matter what. This week we wade through blood and bleed some more on our quest to dance all our firearms away with the pulsing singular beat of (sort of) Connecticut's XO MANOWAR I mean MAGNUS ROBOT FI- I mean XO SKELETONS.

This week one of us is humbled by the work of a powerful lesser man while the other is inspired by a powerful super man but both of us are on a convergent, patron-demanded path to learn about some 2-week iron men and the work they did as iron boys in Connecticut's own FAULTLINE.

Don't worry, everyone. We got this. We are hard at work assembling an elite, throbbing wall of well tanned leftist muscle to turn the tides of history back toward mundane center-right capitalism where we still can't afford to go the hospital. We also combat hardcore AI hoaxes and astroturfing and that's the sum total of hardcore chat this episode because today we're here for... something else. Ladies and germs, aloha from THE DAMBUILDERS.

This week we peer into our own black mirrors and find that hell peers back. French hell. What French hell is this, you ask? Why it's the all you can eat, buttery lobsteriffic hell of Maine's de facto fastcore kings OUTBREAK!

This week we shred the gnar with fish and tacos but not fish tacos. What are you some kind of maniac? Tune in for your path to survival in the lawless post-hardcore wastelands where there is no margin for error as proven by the rock 'n roll roosters of Long Island's IRONY OF LIGHTFOOT.

Lies, drugs, and fish are stacking up to a surprising degree following our week off. I won't say we do our best because raising expectations like that is a fool's game, but don't nobody tell Montana's ASS-END OFFEND because they're working harder than a... well... yeah I don't know.

As men of culture, of course we bend all the technology at our disposal to the task of international sport, but that doesn't mean we don't have plenty of time left over in our day for Walking on the Moon. Meanwhile the boys in SHOGUN have upwards of 6 guitarists vying for your attention.

It's better to travel and if possible it's great to travel offworld because this world isn't looking great long term. Stuck on Earth? Consider the benefits of Czechia. Still too far? Well at the very least you can leave your troubles behind for 14 minutes as legendary Buffalonians ZERO TOLERANCE chant down babylon or its equivalent.

Yung drummers, hardcore gaming, choosing a great jacket, and horning in on other podcasts are all just tools in the big fat boxes we use to tear into the coffee-table-ready sights and sounds of THE CASKET LOTTERY.

Let's explore all the ways that underground things can be country. Can hardcore fans who like Nascar be country? Can a groove metal act in Nudie suits be country? Can sludge rockers with rebellious license plates who sing about regional cryptid violence be country? Only the first 11 SCISSORFIGHT records can tell us the truth.