Load Bearing Beams

We had some scheduling snafus that caused the delay of our Saw episode, so our schedule is getting pushed back a week. Luckily, we had this beautiful podcast about 28 Years Later set to release on the Patreon later this month, and instead, we’re putting it out for free for all the fine folks out there. Matt and Kota have a very spoiler-filled discussion about Danny Boyle’s 28 Years Later. Like all zombie movies, it’s not actually about zombies, it’s about…. Well, it’s about a lot of stuff. This is a meaty, hefty movie. Not unlike what the Alpha carries around with him. Next week: Saw with HFK & Spooky T! Bonus video: Matt reviews the 1980s Disney movie The Great Mouse Detective and wonders if it’s secretly the best Disney movie of the era https://youtu.be/PpWYKmU1KuQ  Subscribe to our Patreon, Load Bearing Beams: Collector's Edition for $5 a month to get two extra episodes! https://patreon.com/loadbearingbeams    Time stamps: 00:05:35 — Opening thoughts on 28 Years Later 00:10:07 — Mini-history segm

Laci and Matt revisit Interview With The Vampire (1994), a movie the podcast covered back in 2018, in the Old Testament days. Much more care and attention is given this time, because there’s so much to love… and so much to be confused by. Has a movie ever been dragged down so much by its whiny-baby lead character as this movie is by Louis (Brad Pitt)? Rather than spending eternity partying with his good buddy Lestat (Tom Cruise), he just putters around and around, moaning and complaining like some unholy combination of Charlie Brown and Eeyore. And rest assured, he will tell you, at length, about how conflicted he feels about the whole “vampire” thing. So get ready. Other than that, the movie’s a blast. Tom Cruise is wonderful, Kirsten Dunst gives an all-time great kid performance, and the Stan Winston makeup can’t be beat. Next week: We read from the book of Saw (2004) with our friends HFK and Spooky T! Out now on the Patreon: Matt and Austin Proctor from the Frightmares podcast discuss David Lynch’s Mulholl

In the origin story of Michael Myers, the slasher killer from the legendary Halloween series of horror films, young Michael sees his sister….. Wait, what? Oh, this is Dennis the Menace? In which a little slingshot punk from the 1950s rides around on a tricycle in 1993 and torments an innocent old man? And you're telling me it’s not about Michael Myers, it was just directed by the man who originally played Michael Myers in John Carpenter’s Halloween (Nick “The Shape” Castle)? Gotcha. I see where the confusion started. Unregardless, here is our long-awaited discussion of the 1993 Dennis the Menace starring Walter Mathau as Mr. Wilson and Christopher Lloyd as a hobo killer who rides the rails and skins children alive, even though we never get to actually see that. And this was written and produced by John Hughes, during his “Let’s just do Home Alone again and again and again” period. Laci loves it, Matt does not, so this is the two-hour therapy session that results.   Next week: Our October Extravaganza begins w

Matt has assembled his friends Wade Hymel and Patrick Perot to do a deep dive into Nickelodeon's Doug—specifically, the episodes "Doug Can't Dance" and "Doug's Garage Band."  In this free preview from the longer premium episode (available on Patreon: https://bit.ly/47U3oGh), Matt, Wade, and Patrick explore the long history of the TV show and of Doug himself, both before, during, and after his show on Nickelodeon. Created by Jim Jinkins, Doug is a show that looks great, sounds even better, and its humor and sensibilities have aged beautifully. We chart the history of Doug himself—his long pre-series life as a character Jinkins used an avatar for himself to process his world; as a pitchman for Florida grapefruit juice and the USA TV network; and then as the star of one of the three original Nicktoons. Then, in a very unique situation, Doug switched networks and was given a mild retooling to make it more radical and extreme for the late '90s as part of Disney's One Saturday Morning lineup of children's programmi

The year is 2000. You are a 12-year-old boy. You spend your days watching Total Request Live and hoping they’ll man up and play “Stellar” by Incubus. You spend an inordinate amount of time choosing the coolest song lyrics to leave as your AOL Instant Messenger away message. And you head out to the cinematorium to see three women kick ass in Charlie’s Angels. You like it a lot, but you have difficulty explaining why. Well, revisiting it 25 years later, it’s actually pretty easy to see why: It’s kind of just a straightforward, fun, slightly silly action movie. In Drew Barrymore, Lucy Liu, and Cameron Diaz, you have three extremely likable and charismatic performances. And, in the biggest shocker of all, the much-maligned McG is able to direct some fairly competent action sequences. Who knew? Next week: Dennis the Menace (1993)   Bonus videos: Review of the new Stephen King adaptation The Long Walk: https://youtu.be/SHSZcQFWPGg Review of FernGully 2: The Magical Rescue:  https://youtu.be/mnmMebh9ZT0  Watching T

They thought they were making a movie that would save the environment and destroy extractive industries. Instead, they made a generation of millennials horny as hell for cartoon trees. FernGully: The Last Rainforest is a fascinating mid-budget animated film that presents a mighty counterweight to the Disney behemoth of the early 1990s: Modest in scope, budget-level pop songs, and an anti-capitalist message Disney would never allow (unless James Cameron does it). And it’s not a great movie, but it’s very good, and the animation is extremely impressive. And everyone jokes that Avatar lifts the story of FernGully…. But man, it really seems like Avatar has seen FernGully. Or maybe it’s just that there are so few anti-capitalist movies made by Hollywood studios that the few that exist all seem to resemble each other. Also: Seriously you guys, there is some legitimately horny stuff going on in this movie. Avatar also seems inspired by that part. Next week: Charlie’s Angels (2000) Bonus video: Matt reviews the 1980

We weren’t expecting this miniseries on Dwayne Johnson to be so relevant, but as he debuted his “new look” at the Venice Film Festival and began his awards season campaign, Laci and Matt react to the news of the week and unpack his public comments. Johnson reflected on his own career with many of the thoughts we’ve had as we’ve gone through his filmography. Is he sincere about it, or just being a good politician trying to win an award? Does he mean it when he says he was ready to pivot to “serious acting” or he was forced to by having so many consecutive box office failures? And is Emily Blunt really his best friend? Does it matter? We take the new information and give our concluding thoughts on the acting career of The Rock, and then rank the nine movies we covered during the summer. And then, we answer some mailbag questions, including: Fuck/Marry/Kill: The duck who shows her tits in Howard the Duck, tiny Dwayne Johnson in Tooth Fairy, and the Thanksgiving turkey from Spider-Man? What relationship from an

This is the end, beautiful friends. We conclude the Summer of Rock with the much-better-than-I-remembered Jungle Cruise, a movie we abruptly pivoted to covering after trying to watch Black Adam and giving up out of boredom.  We cover the history of movies based on theme parks, the rocky production of Jungle Cruise, its unfortunate failure at the box office, and then we go through the movie itself, trying to figure out if this is one of The Rock’s better late-career performances or if he’s being carried entirely by Emily Blunt. The Summer of Rock is our summer 2025 miniseries covering the movie career of Dwayne Johnson through nine movies, presented in chronological order. Starting with his attempt at crossing over from the world of wrestling, The Rock’s career got off to a bumpy start before finally taking off in the 2010s. But it wasn’t long before the bumps returned, and we’ll be telling the story for you all summer long! Next week: We’ll have a shorter bonus episode to wrap up the Summer of Rock, and we’ll

They went and made a dang spin-off to the Fast & Furious franchise, and it made a ton of money, and there's no chance it'll ever get a sequel because no one liked it. Especially not Matt. Matt is utterly miserable talking about Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw (2019), but Laci's able to help him get through it by diving in to all the messy drama surrounding Dwayne Johnson's feud with Vin Diesel that led to Luke Hobbs getting exiled from the main Fast & Furious series of movies.  Next week: Black Adam (2022) The Summer of Rock is our summer 2025 miniseries covering the movie career of Dwayne Johnson through nine movies, presented in chronological order. Starting with his attempt at crossing over from the world of wrestling, The Rock’s career got off to a bumpy start before finally taking off in the 2010s. But it wasn’t long before the bumps returned, and we’ll be telling the story for you all summer long!   Subscribe to our Patreon, Load Bearing Beams: Collector's Edition for $5 a month

There were big expectations in 2017 for the Baywatch movie. 21 Jump Street had shown that raunchy, irreverent takes on cheesy '80s and '90s TV shows could earn bofo box office, and with the dual star power of Dwayne Johnson and Zac Efron, it looked as if Baywatch couldn't miss. But critics hated it and the movie was a flop at the box office, canceling Paramount’s big plans for a Baywatch Cinematic Universe. So, what happened? And is the movie really as bad as its reputation? What does this movie think it is? Is it a raunchy R-rated comedy that wants to mock its source material? Or is it a loving tribute to the most-watched series in the world in the 1990s? It’s… kind of neither. Does The Rock make any sense in the lead role of Lieutenant Mitch Buchanan, or has he fully entered the “most boring actor in every movie he’s in” portion of his career? Why does the movie suddenly start working as a surprisingly functional comedy when The Rock inexplicably disappears from the movie for 25 minutes and Efron takes over

We're off for the week but here's an extensive chunk from our premium episode to tide you over till then. It's a spoiler-filled discussion of The Fantastic Four: First Steps with our guests Neophyte Reviews and Screentime Kota. The Summer of Rock resumes in one week with an episode about Baywatch (2017)! Another MCU movie has arrived, and Matt’s being a real Ebeneezer Scrooge about it. Neophyte Reviews and Screen Time Kota join the show to try to convince him not to be such a grump and to welcome things like light and joy into his heart.   And so, we have for you a spoiler-filled discussion of Matt Shakman’s THE FANTASTIC FOUR: FIRST STEPS, in which an angry mob tries to steal a baby. (Matt’s on the mob’s side.)   Meanwhile, Kota fills several chalkboards with equations to demonstrate the multiverses upon multiverse contained within this movie, and Neo explains the most powerful being in all of existence: Franklin.   Follow Neophyte Reviews: TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@neophyte_reviews  Instagram - https

Sony made a sequel to Jumanji, that sad Robin Williams movie from the ‘90s, 22 years later? And it made a billion dollars? And everyone liked it??   It’s true. And as a result, every time a movie studio makes a questionable legacy sequel this is why. They’re telling themselves: “It worked with Jumanji.” It’s why Disney is putting out a Tron movie this year.   Well, the thing is, the movie needs to be good! And Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle IS good. It’s a very likable and winning comedy. It’s just kind of a lackluster blockbuster.   But what a fun cast! The Rock is once again able to have fun playing a guy who feels very awkward looking like The Rock. Kevin Hart is very funny, Karen Gillan kicks ass, and Jack Black gives maybe his best ever performance. Nick Jonas is also here.   And this movie has us asking the big questions. What makes you you and me me? Are our personalities completely predetermined? Do NPCs have a right to privacy? If you’re popular in high school, will you be popular f

Pain & Gain is Michael Bay’s magnum opus, a razor-sharp dissection of the American id. This movie has it all: Con artistry, prosperity gospel, and drugs, drugs, drugs! It also features career-best performances of Dwayne Johnson, Mark Wahlberg, and Anthony Mackie, and it’s easily Bay’s best movie. Indeed, it’s a look at an alternate career for Johnson where he could play interesting, complicated, vulnerable characters like he does in this movie. Instead, he made a bunch of movies with big cars and/or gorillas.   Still, Pain & Gain is an absolute blast and we had a great time breaking it down, marveling at how much fun it is and how well it predicted what America would feel like in 2025.   Next week: Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (2017)   The Summer of Rock is our summer 2025 miniseries covering the movie career of Dwayne Johnson through nine movies, presented in chronological order. Starting with his attempt at crossing over from the world of wrestling, The Rock’s career got off to a bu

Time stamps: 00:14:24 — Our personal histories with the Fast & Furious franchise 00:30:55 — History segment: The history of the Fast & Furious franchise; director Justin Lin; on the weekend of Fast Five’s release, Dwayne Johnson Tweets the news that Osama bin Laden has been killed 00:49:55 — In-depth movie discussion 02:02:15 — Final thoughts and star ratings   Laci and Matt hop in a go-fast car and head for Rio de Janeiro to join up with Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel), Brian O’Conner (Paul Walker), and their whole extended family, as they attempt the heist of the century. All while trying to evade federal agent Luke Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson), the deadliest agent you’ll find  in Hillary Clinton’s State Department.   We discover how fascinating Vin Diesel is for Laci, who has had startlingly little exposure to the man of the vast empire he controls. We try to figure out what it is he does well… because it’s hard to say what it is, there’s just something about him.   Honestly, that’s

It is with heavy hearts that we have to push back our release schedule one week. Actually, no, our hearts are light and full of joy. A new baby has been added to House Stokes in the form of past guest Elliott (from the Home Alone 2 episode) and his lovely wife having a baby. Said baby was just very inconsiderate in arriving at precisely the time we were set to record our Fast Five episode. So, it'll be here in a week. All will be well.   In the meantime, we're flashing back to last summer when it was the Summer of Spielberg, and we're giving you one of our most popular episodes, the Jurassic Park episode featuring AJ and Kristie from the In Love With Horror podcast.   The Summer of Spielberg continues as Laci and Matt were able to buckle their seatbelts in time for their helicopter to land on Isla Nublar, where they meet up with AJ & Kristie from the In Love With Horror podcast to talk about Jurassic Park (1993). The four team up for a rollicking podcast so good it’ll have you shouting

Hey folks, we're off this week, but we'll be back next week with our Fast Five episode, as the Summer of Rock rolls on! In the meantime, enjoy some samplings from the additional bonus material available on our YouTube channel (https://youtube.com/@loadbearingbeamspod).  Time stamps: 1:30  — Top-Five Jurassic Park Movies (excluding Jurassic Park) 9:06 — Revisiting Gareth Edwards's Godzilla (2014)

Well, a movie finally broke us. Horror and mortal terror have a face.   In the absolutely dreadful “family film” Tooth Fairy (2010)—quite possibly the worst movie our podcast has ever covered—Dwayne Johnson plays Derek Thompson, a hockey player who specializes in knocking out opponents’ teeth. He has a lot on his plate: He’s dating Ashley Judd, who has two kids: An adorable little girl who loves him and a punk teenage boy who thinks he’s full of crap (Because he is.). At the same time, Derek has some hotshot new competition in the form of Mick “The Stick” Donnelly, a hot-shot new prospect who is described in the span of 25 seconds by the team’s coach as both “the future face of this (minor league) franchise” and “only here for a cup of coffee before he makes the NHL.”   Then he becomes the Tooth Fairy. Hilarity ensues.   Next week: We're off! We return on July 11 for an episode about Fast Five (2011).   The Summer of Rock is our summer 2025 miniseries covering the movie career of Dwayne Johnson

Dwayne Johnson followed up his debut lead performance in The Scorpion King with The Rundown. Released as Welcome to the Jungle outside America, The Rundown might be his very best movie. Along with Seann William Scott, Rosario Dawson, and a deliciously hammy Christopher Walken, The Rock is firing on all cylinders as both a physical and emotional actor. He can be funny when called to be, but leaves most of the humor to Scott and Walken, and he really shines as a stoic badass.   It's no mistake that Arnold Schwarzenegger makes a cameo at the beginning of this movie, passing by The Rock and telling him to "have fun." It was his world now. As The Scorpion King was The Rock's version of Conan the Barbarian, The Rundown was his version of Commando. Unfortunately, the world had changed since the 1980s, and the public appetite for throwback action-adventure movies was waning.   We were robbed of a world where he made a movie of this quality every year. But we’re also robbed of a world where dozens of mo

The Summer of Rock begins as Laci and Matt dive into the movie career of Dwayne Johnson with his first leading role in The Scorpion King (2002). The Rock first graced the big screen a year earlier in The Mummy Returns, in a brief prologue in which he plays a character who seemingly has nothing to do with the sturdy nice fellow he plays in Scorpion King. And now he gets to lead a picture. And what a picture. An old-fashioned picture, you might say. One refreshingly free of irony, self-awareness, or any of the oppressive trappings of modernity. This movie’s kinda great, actually. And so is The Rock. Is it possible his career peaked with his first feature? We shall find out in the weeks and months ahead.   Bonus video: Matt explains why all movie studio CEOs are basically the exact same guy and why they all make the exact same decisions. Watch it on YouTube: https://youtu.be/MC1dxeLQrgY     Next week: The Rundown (2003) Subscribe to our Patreon, Load Bearing Beams: Collector's Edition for $5

We're off this week, preparing for the Summer of Rock, which starts next week with an episode about The Scorpion King (2002). In fact, here is our schedule for the rest of the month: June 13 - The Scorpion King (2002) June 20 - The Rundown (2003) June 27 - Tooth Fairy (2010)   In the meantime, please enjoy Matt's semi-spoiler-y review of Mission: Impossible - The Final Reckoning. And please follow us on YouTube to get all kinds of bonus content: https://youtube.com/@loadbearingbeamspod