Parent Driven Development

Parent Driven Development Episode 047: Black Lives Matter, How to be Anti-Racist (https://docs.google.com/document/d/1BRlF2_zhNe86SGgHa6-VlBO-QgirITwCTugSfKie5Fs/preview?pru=AAABcnX07hc%2APm8gUUGqTq4TxCwAWKNadg&fbclid=IwAR0y2_zK_2nsTviltzZr9ILXJRHa2xxj4xO0zALLye3pAB7HmOOoyfNQ1S8), How to Talk to Your Kids about BLM 00:20 Black Lives Matter Movement 02:00 How NOT to raise racist kids Allison and Kwu both have young kids, so conversations are slightly different Gender inequality talks Explaining to kids how and why people are treated differently in different areas Changing the language in the house: racism, violence, hate 07:50 Exposing pictures, graphics and videos to your children, no matter the age. What's appropriate? Protesters getting arrested Bail rates vary depending on race Children are very intuitive and understand more than we think 11:30 How to talk to young kids about BLM Bi-racial and how they are often judged by their outer appearance Comfortability amongst couples and how to lean into these conv

Parent Driven Development Episode 046: Mike McQuaid on paternity leave, Balancing Dad Podcast, and raising kids in different countries. 03:08 Welcome Mike McQuaid (https://twitter.com/MikeMcQuaid)! Mike McQuaid is a father of two and lives and works in Edinburgh, Scotland. He is a senior engineer at Github where he’s worked for the last six years. In his free time, Mike is the package leader for the Homebrew (https://brew.sh/) package manager. He also likes going to the gym, walking his dog and hosting the Balancing Dad Podcast (https://balancingdads.com/) for working fathers. 03:40 Paternity leave Split time paternity leave (aka, you can break up your paid leave) Utilizing quarantine time to potty train 07:52 Mike on Balancing Dad Podcast (https://balancingdads.com/) Gender roles can creep in easily during transitioning into new parents Women are asked more, “how do you do it all,” but men are not.. Allison shares how society pushes relationships to not be equal 15:35 Mike shares a better future is possib

Parent Driven Development Episode 045: Miriam Tocino - Zerus and Ona (https://amzn.to/32YJZma) 01:56 Welcome Miriam (https://twitter.com/miriamtocino)! Zerus & Ona (https://amzn.to/32YJZma) were born from Miriam's own circumstances as a mom. By the time she had her baby, Miriam was the coordinator and teacher of a Development Bootcamp in Amsterdam. So, when the time came to go back to work (her son was 3 months old), she jumped back. After some weeks in the job, Miriam realised she couldn't do it. She was constantly sleep deprived and with no help around from family (we're expats). Miriam quit her job and stayed at home with her baby. She then started to use his naps to draw and write Zerus & Ona (https://amzn.to/32YJZma). **FREE PDF from Zerus and Ona on the ABCs of Computers (https://zerusandona.com/parentdriven) 03:29 Orgins of Zerus and Ona (https://amzn.to/32YJZma) Miriam was leading tech bootcamps, then got pregnant Her baby was more work than expected ;) Miriam returns to work, but quit after a few we

Parent Driven Development Episode 043: Recipe Swap 01:15 Welcome! 02:04 Feeding kids is a full time job What are your meal time rules? Home delivery meal service Personal chef for the kids?? No… Meal time is meal time, and if the kids don’t eat, tough nuggets. 08:59 Dinner table time Phone vs no phone? Are you a fast eater or slow eater? Time to share conversations with the family Limiting or monitoring the amount of food for kids, do you do this? Sometimes the doctors have given us parents too much to mull over... 13:12 Food as restriction or reward? Dessert time - it’s a thing that is to be enjoyed Keto desserts… YUM Quest cookie obsessed (https://amzn.to/3jRlmxy) Keto cake (https://chocolatecoveredkatie.com/2019/09/08/keto-cake-recipe/) Chocolate chip cookies (https://www.fatforweightloss.com.au/keto-chocolate-chip-cookies/) 19:25 Cook at home vs. ordering out Meal prepping during the weekend to prepare for the week. This makes it quicker and easier. Less work too ;) No meat preschools - managing meals a

Parent Driven Development Episode 043: Pressure and Considerations Around Leaving a Job for Ethical Reasons. Welcome, Nick Means (https://twitter.com/nmeans)! Nickolas Means loves nothing more than a story of engineering triumph (except maybe a story of engineering disaster). When he's not stuck in a Wikipedia loop reading about plane crashes, he spends his days as a Senior Engineering Manager at GitHub working on Security and Compliance tooling for our users. He's also a co-host of the Managing Up podcast, a show about leading and managing in the world of technology. He works remotely from Austin, TX, and spends most of his spare time hanging out with his wife and kids, going for runs, or trying to brew the perfect cup of coffee. 01:54 How do you approach management with parents on your team? Treating your team as you would want to be treated as a parent Setting examples to your team as a manager Evaluate the job performance on the work actually done, and not clock a few hours taken off for kid responsibilit

Parent Driven Development Episode 042: Career Switching and Learning to Code After Babies. Welcome, Bekah (https://twitter.com/BekahHW)! A content-creator by nature. Bekah is working on websites, coding-related projects, and her blog, but she has also written three screenplays, three pilots, and is finishing up a memoir. Bekah is all about getting creative! A mom to four young kids (3-10), Bekah has spent the last ten years of her life adjuncting in various university English departments. She is practically doing a 180 learning to code, and is sharing her failures, successes, and everything that falls in between. Bekah graduated from Flatiron School Software Engineering program, in May 2019. She been working at Sprokets as a frontend dev since July 1, 2019. 01:15 Bekah’s journey in career switching Trauma after 4th kid Husband encouraged her to code, and it helped with her PTSD She realized her passion and continued to tackled the challenges Bekah was a teacher prior to coding 02:40 Coding became therapeutic

Parent Driven Development Episode 041 : COVID-19 In today's episode we discuss what everyone is talking about, COVID-19. Yes, we talk about it. We're talking about the new normal, full time remote work, childcare - or the lack there of, how to communicate the situation to our children, and what this means for our world moving forward. Tune in! 00:55 COVID-19 check in On a scale of freaking out vs totally chill… How many tweets are you reading? Self quarantine pre plan Chris has a dry run when his son catches the flu... *The actual flu. 05:40 The new normal Will grocery stores shut down? Limit social outings Sports, events, and all gatherings are being cancelled… more of an inconvenience 09:10 Tech has shut. it. down. Everyone is working for home, asap What’s the deal with other industries? If you can stay home, stay home 13:20 New policies What about goals? College kids subbing as the new neighborhood babysitters Privilege in steady jobs Preschools and schools - some open vs. some closed 24:10 What abou

Parent Driven Development Episode 040 Pressure and Considerations Around Leaving a Job for Ethical Reasons. 00:20 Welcome We discuss what it's like to work for a company that you may not agree with their ethics The difficult decisions and thoughts when you have a family and dependents counting on you 00:55 Examples of companies dealing with ethical controversy Companies working with ICE, kickstarter Ethical clients, customers, organizers, labor oriented - who’s responsible? 02:34 Technology, good or evil? Surveillance Hyper aware of indications within our jobs and technology Being in the tech industry, able to create foundational tech communication - bonus US culture is more politically aware within the last few years 06:40 Being more involved Lessons of the past Minority identity What are we if we don’t participate 09:30 Support and encouragement to leave a job, things to consider Financial decisions play a huge role Putting family at financial risk Healthcare Retirement benefits 16:44 Inflexible costs of

Parent Driven Development Episode 039: Parenting Roles and Gender Equality with Richard Schneeman Welcome Richard Schneeman (https://www.schneems.com/)! Schneems (https://twitter.com/schneems) writes Ruby at Heroku, and maintains CodeTriage.com, a tool for helping people contribute to Open Source. He is in the top 50 Rails contributors and is an accidental maintainer of Sprockets and Puma. When he isn't obsessively compulsively refactoring code for performance, he writes such gems as Wicked, and derailed_benchmarks. 00:30 Welcome, Richard Schneeman! 01:00 All the Rage: Mothers, Fathers and the Myth of Equal Partnership The book: All the Rage: Mothers Fathers and the Myth of Equal Partnership (https://amzn.to/3jNGKnn) Co-parenting, gender equality Progressive relationships default into gender roles after kids 05:18 Progressive Parenting What’s fair? Progressive until they have to make a change.. 08:15 Moms vs. Dads Dad’s get applauded when caring for children in public Creating boundaries of designated mom an

Parent Driven Development Episode 038: Women Mentorship with Kari Clark from Uplift Parents Welcome, Kari Clark! Kari is the founder Uplift Parents (https://www.upliftparents.com/), a coaching service for working moms. She previously worked at Google for 8 years, invented their live case product, and co-created many other products. Kari has two kids and believes that they both made her a better at her job! Interviewing over 100 women, all at the top of their field, Kari breaks down the common threads in successful working moms and how we all can amplify our lives. These are the best tips for working moms! 00:50 Welcome, Kari Had two kids during her time at google Became incredibly focused after kids Interviewing women at the top of their fields (all moms) and created Uplift (https://www.instagram.com/getuplifted/) 02:50 What was the trend of working moms from home and in the office? There is success in many ways Common trend, perspective, empathy and efficiency 04:45 Ruthless efficiency Make more of your time

Parent Driven Development Episode 037: New Panel Intro - Welcome Chris and Adarsh! This episode we feature two new panelists on Parent Driven Development, Chris Arcand and Adarsh Pandit! Chris is a Minnesota native holding two bachelor degrees in musical performance and computer science. After some years spent in Washington DC, Chris and his wife decided to return to their home in Minneapolis to start their family. They have a 2-year-old son and one more on the way! Chris currently works as a software engineer at Hashicorp. Welcome Chris. Adarsh is a developer consultant living in Oakland, California with his wife and two sons. He is the founder of Cylinder Digital and is currently on the Ruby Developer Board. Originally from Michigan, this former scientist taught himself code while working for boutique consulting firms. Adarsh is currently the primary caregiver at home and is embracing every sock and sandal dad moment he can get! Welcome Adarsh. 00:30 Welcome Chris and Adarsh! 00:51 Chris Arcand Chris share

Parent Driven Development Episode 036: Adoption This episode will discuss the process of international adoption, the major changes that hit home, and future challenges adopting parents and children face 00:28 Welcome, Kalimar How long does it take to adopt a child internationally? It took Kalimar 2 ½-3 years! Kalimar and his wife have had their baby girl for 6 months, she is now 21 month old Huge learning curve welcoming a child that already has mobility 01:12 Why choose adoption? Kalimar and his wife are 35+ and decided this was the right option for them 01:39 What is process for international adoption? Adoption ad in paper, an option International adoption agencies is most common and safe International adoption requirements: Micro scale of state approval, social workers, background checks, reading, workshops, cultural events, then moving to federal approval then international country approval 4:43 How hard is it to adopt a child? Is parenting easier or harder? The paperwork is tough, but Kalimar says parent

Parent Driven Development Episode 035: Summer Vacations Welcome! 00:35 Summer vacationing as a kid vs. adult The hosts reflect back on their experience of summer vacation as a child vs. what their kids experience now. How much do kids actually remember on these family vacations? Loads and loads of driving!! 06:52 Flying vs. driving The views! You can either see more of the places in between or more of the place you’re going to What does your family value more? Is the classic road trip only nostalgic? 10:20 KWu's travels KWu becomes a foodie in Paris! Winter ski trips KWu thinks it’s a good start to travel domestically before going internationally with her own children 12:06 Involving the kids in travel plans Get the ideas of what the kids are actually interested in to make for a better vacation 14:13 Take the kids anyways Kids may end up being grumpy anyways, so let's take them along regardless 14:50 Older kids remember more Super rewarding as a parent to hear positive feedback from the kids on a succe

Parent Driven Development Episode 034: Back to School and Extracurricular Activities for Kids 00:59 Welcome, Barrett Clark Barrett Clark is a data programmer, speaker and author of Data Visualization ToolKit. He is a longtime member of the Ruby community and a co-organizer of RailCamp South. Married for 22 years, Barrett and his wife have two teenage boys and a new dog. Ruby community Family: 2 highschool teenage sons (senior / sophomore) both in band. Parent advisors and past president to children’s band team 01:46 Extra curricular activities for kids Barrett’s son involved with band The parents get involved as well, to have the kids know that you value them and their interest carpools with fellow parents 08:25 Extra cirrculars taking up more time than school and work. How to deal? Helping kids see the importance of prioritizing (school, dating, work, band, etc) 12:20 Helping kids find their “thing” + Overly committing kids to activities to help them find a passion Signing your kids up for more activities

Parent Driven Development Episode 033: Raising Children Away From Family 00:28 Welcome, Adarsh Pandit Adarsh is a self taught coder, scientist and consultant. He is the founder of Cylinder Digital, a software design and development studio, and is on the board of Ruby Together. This episode we discuss what it’s like to raise a family, while living away from your parents and other family members. 03:00 The difficulties of raising a family away from family Lack of support Career trade offs Finding a sitter 07:01 Home-Ops: The Business Side of Raising a Family Who can help with childcare? Realizing the limitations of parents age and health as they get older Adjusting child care depending on the time, day or event that they are covering for. - who can drive? 13:30 - Coping with coordination Co-op babysitting Drop off playdates with neighbors 17:11 Finding the Right Child/Child and Parent/Parent Match Finding the perfect family match: kids need to get along and parents need to get along Building rapport with

Parent Driven Development Episode 032: Tackling More 00:45 Welcome, Dana Jones Our guest, Dana Jones (https://twitter.com/danabrit), Engineering Manager at Abstract (https://www.abstract.com/). Dana has 4 children. Came in to software development from an untraditional path. 2:00 Dana goes back to school Dana has also recently gone back to school to get her college degree and talks about her experience 5:15 talking about the people side of our work and people management 8:40 how do you organize yourself? 14:00 kids and driving 16:30 how are challenges different at different times in your life and when you’re kids are different ages 20:20 professional development with non-tiny children and child development/phases 22:00 Meeting kids where they’re at 23:00 how has family time changed as children have gotten older 25:00 ask more questions and give fewer answers at work and at home 28:00 moderating your reactions as a parent 35:37 Genius and Fail moments! Follow & Support Please follow us @parentdrivendev (ht

Parent Driven Development Episode 031: Negotiating A Shorter Workweek 00:16 Welcome, Itamar Turner-Trauring Itamar Turner-Trauring started his software career in the cutting-edge field of multimedia CD-ROMs. He currently works as a consultant helping speed up Python code and deployments (https://pythonspeed.com), and shares his software and career mistakes every week with 3700 programmers on his Software Clown (https://softwareclown.com) newsletter. His crowning achievement as a parent was when months of brainwashing paid off and his daughter stopped saying "my legs are tired" and started saying "my legs are getting stronger! Itmar is that author of "You Can Negotiate A 3-Day Weekend" (https://codewithoutrules.com/3dayweekend/). 00:51 Working Part-Time as a Programmer and Writing a Book "You Can Negotiate A 3-Day Weekend (https://codewithoutrules.com/3dayweekend/) 03:54 Overcoming "This Isn't Normal" or "Entitlement" Feelings Negotiation is easier at your current job. Your work ethic is already established. F

Parent Driven Development Episode 030: Moving and Traveling Internationally 00:11 Welcome, Annyce Davis! Annyce spends her day-to-day working as a Software Developer and Leader. She has specifically been focused on Android applications for the past several years. She's also an Android Google Developer Expert (https://developers.google.com/programs/experts/). This means that she spends a lot of time developing videos, blog posts, and conference talks for the Developer Community. Annyce is currently the Software Group Lead at a social impact startup called Zola Electric (http://zolaelectric.com/). They provide clean, transformative energy to households that suffer from expensive, unreliable grids or have no grid access at all. She gets to help impact the lives of people across Africa by developing a high-quality Android application that’s used by their entire sales force. 01:25 Moving from the U.S. to Amsterdam Fell in love with Europe about 4-5 years ago. 2 years ago, had an opportunity to move for a job oppor

Parent Driven Development Episode 029: Organizing Conferences 00:57 Balancing Conferencing with Parenting Andy has organized RedDotRubyConf (https://www.reddotrubyconf.com/), still organizes Brighton Ruby (https://brightonruby.com/), and has spoken the past few years at RubyConf (https://rubyconf.org/). Andy also puts out an email newsletter, with one Ruby/Rails technique delivered with a ‘why?’ and a ‘how?’ every two weeks. It’s deliberately brief, focussed & opinionated, and called One Ruby Thing (https://onerubything.com/). Chris helps to co-organize Ruby For Good (https://rubyforgood.org/). Systems, systems, systems. Staying in the speaker hotel during crunch time. Getting paid helps. Having no co-organizers = no extra communication challenges. Relying on your partner. Staying local helps. Having a venue. 06:52 Conference Sizes: How Big is Big? Andy runs Brighton Ruby as a single track, one-day conference of 300-400. Ruby Central (http://rubycentral.org/) conferences by comparison are up to about 1,000

Parent Driven Development Episode 028: Primary Caregiving 00:17 Introducing Guest, Nick Gauthier! Becoming a Full-time Parent Nick is currently the CTO and Co-founder at Nomics (https://nomics.com/). Before co-founding Nomics, Nick created MeetSpace (https://www.meetspaceapp.com/), a video conferencing application for distributed teams. Before that, Nick worked at Codeship (http://codeship.com/) on the Codeship Pro Continuous Delivery platform, as well as various other web application consulting projects in Ruby on Rails, Go, and JavaScript. 03:55 Being a Full-Time Parent as a Man "Aww, you're babysitting!"