Breakfast With The Beak

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A discussion of virtually everything


  • Episode 158: The Origin of the World

    Episode 158: The Origin of the World


    It’s the end of our show, and the beginning of everything! We’re telling the story of the the star stuff that makes up all of us, the generations of stars where those atoms were forged, and the pile of hot rocks that we ended up calling home. And we get in a few last shots […]

  • Episode 157: Topic Rodeo!

    Episode 157: Topic Rodeo!


    It’s our penultimate episode, so we’re cleaning house! That means going through every topic left on the list and giving each of them the 8 to 12 seconds of attention they deserve. And why stop there? We’re also revealing the contents of our top-secret emergency topics list, reviewing all 156 previous episodes, and – against […]

  • Episode 156: Strong Bad Email

    Episode 156: Strong Bad Email


    Hey, remember Strong Bad? If you do, have we got the show for you! If you don’t, you’re going to learn a lot today. We’re taking a voyage through internet history to a time when Homestar Runner ruled the world! When word of mouth mattered more than insincere retweets! When we hadn’t yet squandered the […]

  • Episode 155: Wesley Willis

    Episode 155: Wesley Willis


    Well, it doesn’t get much further from Taylor Swift than this. We’re taking a harmony joy ride with a rock ‘n’ roll prophet, searching for meaning in the music of Wesley Willis. Willis taught us all how to battle demons through obscene bestiality ballads and unfiltered autobiography, and we’re passing that knowledge on to any […]

  • Episode 154: Taylor Swift

    Episode 154: Taylor Swift


    We’re venturing outside our demographic, and Taylor Swift is our guide! Can we learn anything from America’s pop-country sweetheart? Or will we just make a bizarre web of connections between her, Michael Bay, J.K. Rowling, Stephen King, and all her ex-boyfriends and then insist it all makes sense? Guaranteed to contain zero Taylor Swift songs; […]

  • Episode 153: Ebola

    Episode 153: Ebola


    This week, we’re trying to wring humor out of a really scary disease that we don’t know all that much about. And that should be fun, right? We trace the history of the Ebola virus from its humble origins to its brush with fame in the 1990s and beyond, and develop acute hypochondria in the […]

  • Episode 152: The Keebler Elves

    Episode 152: The Keebler Elves


    In a hollow tree somewhere, elves are baking cookies with magic. At least that’s what Keebler’s commercials would have us believe. It’s a journey into the world of advertising, the darkest corners of fandom, and the office where they decide how many spider parts can legally go into your food. Plus a bunch of crap […]

  • Episode 151: Dollywood

    Episode 151: Dollywood


    We’re headed down south (in spirit) to pay a visit to Dollywood, the Dolly Parton-est place on Earth! Will we avoid the obvious jokes? Actually yes, because there’s a whole lot more to talk about. It turns out Dollywood is a magical place full of grannies and taters, old-timey craftsmen and a man named Big […]

  • Episode 150: Purple People Eater

    Episode 150: Purple People Eater


    We all know Purple People Eater, the novelty song. But how about Purple People Eater… the movie? Oh, it happened, and we’re spending our 150th episode trying to figure out why. Whether you’re a fan of early rock ‘n’ roll, wacky car wash hijinx, or wiener dogs, there’s sure to be something in this movie […]

  • Episode 149: The Manitou

    Episode 149: The Manitou


    The Manitou! We can’t even call it a famously bad film, because it never quite got famous, but we’re watching it and discussing it. Thrill to the tale of a fortune-telling Tony Curtis, a shaman in a sad wig, and their slow, confusing battle with a wee magic fellow. Find out what we think about […]

  • Episode 148: John Dies at the End

    Episode 148: John Dies at the End


    It’s one of the great internet success stories: a novel posted on the web, which became a real book, which became a movie. And now John Dies at the End has somehow become this podcast. We’re not just reviewing the movie; we’re looking into its curious history, debating what it means for internet culture, and […]

  • Episode 147: Vampires and Werewolves

    Episode 147: Vampires and Werewolves


    These days, you can’t tell a story about one kind of monster without every other kind of monster trying to steal the spotlight. But which creature deserves to have its story told? We’re looking at a couple of the most popular, in hopes of finding out how vampires became sexy and how werewolves wound up […]

  • Episode 146: Bedbugs

    Episode 146: Bedbugs


    We’re getting downright educational this week! Bedbugs have made their homes in our fair city, and we have the inside scoop from a real-life ex-exterminator. Where did these tiny bloodsuckers come from? How can you protect yourself? Who can we blame? Guaranteed to feature at least one very uncomfortable host, plus a nice bit about […]

  • Episode 145: Akira Kurosawa

    Episode 145: Akira Kurosawa


    We’ve been tasked with reviewing the career of one of the most influential filmmakers of all time, and we don’t know his work. The solution? How about an all-day Kurosawa movie marathon so we can talk half-knowledgeably about a handful of his best-known films. We got our brains melted by Rashomon, our senses overloaded by […]

  • Episode 144: Burger Club

    Episode 144: Burger Club


    It’s time for our annual holiday special, and you know what that means: we’re completely half-assing it. As in, barely even bothering to make sense. Instead, we’re more concerned with weaseling out of the latest topic, debating the premise of old arcade games, and maybe – just maybe – arguing with a certain sock. Basically […]

  • Episode 143: David Bowie

    Episode 143: David Bowie


    Is it possible for two people on the internet to discuss the career of David Bowie without getting distracted by Labyrinth? It turns out, no, that is not possible. But we get to a lot of other good stuff before that! For example, tales of the golden age of anything-goes radio and a hierarchy of […]

  • Episode 142: Reincarnation

    Episode 142: Reincarnation


    Reincarnation is definitely one of the nicer afterlife options, so obviously we’re trying to think of funny stuff to say about it. And that means mocking psychics, recapping forgotten supernatural romantic comedies, and debating whether or not microbes have souls. Presented with a cherished belief held by millions of people, how long does it take […]

  • Episode 141: The Price is Right

    Episode 141: The Price is Right


    This week, we’re breaking format all over the place, inviting a guest into the Breakfast Kitchen to discuss her own topic. And we’re asking the hard questions. Can Plinko ever be made truly handicap accessible? Is Pat Sajak a Highlander? Do people want to see oiled-up hunks on game shows? How sturdy are those sets? […]

  • Episode 140: Real News vs. The Onion

    Episode 140: Real News vs. The Onion


    Comparing a real news story to a piece of satire is basically a cliche at this point, but that doesn’t mean the resemblance isn’t there. Real people still get fooled by fake stories, and real stupidity is more carefully documented than it’s ever been. It’s entirely possible that this is the episode that ends up […]

  • Episode 139: Donald Trump’s Wig

    Episode 139: Donald Trump’s Wig


    You dared us to talk about it, and we took the bait! That’s right: a whole show about the mysterious, seemingly impossible structure on Donald Trump’s head. How does it work? What does it look like when it hasn’t been styled? Is it a wig, a combover, or some kind of animal companion? And what […]

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